A Beautiful Life

Loss

2009-09-01T15:29:00.002-04:00

I didn’t realize that it would be the last time I saw my father-in-law, Forest. Each year, our family trekked to Washington State to visit both Tony’s and my side of the family. My two daughters, Alix and Maddie, and I were eating lunch with Forest as I commented on how good he looked. Months before, his health was precarious, and we had anticipated hearing bad news any day. However, surprisingly, he had bounced back after changing his diet and losing some weight. I knew he was feeling healthy when he resumed golfing again. Life seemed to be looking up.

What a shock it was when Tony received a phone call just three months later that his stepdad had passed away hours after returning home from playing golf! I was shocked. How could this be? When I saw Forest last July, he was in the best health I’d ever seen him. The whole situation felt surreal. It seemed like I should’ve have somehow had some foreknowledge that this was coming. A chance to say goodbye would’ve made me feel better about this whole thing.

Events like this over the past several months have caused me to ponder this idea of “last moments”. Would I have treasured the time I had with Forest more had I known he would leave this world just a few months later? Would I have savored and enjoyed my visit more with both my in-laws? I have to confess that I had managed to endure these yearly visits rather than look forward to them.

Fast forward to this past March and imagine my amazement when Tony’s mom was admitted to the hospital and one month later was promoted to heaven. I was able to converse with her briefly while she was in the hospital even though she could barely communicate back. How inconceivable to me that this once energetic, vibrant personality was lying semi-comatose in a hospital bed. I wondered how one could enter the hospital for a surgery that was quite successful, yet take such a turn for worse…and never recover.

Even more than that, why didn’t I value the time I had with her during our visits? Yes, she could be difficult; yes, she was insecure; yes, she could tell the same stories over and over again. Yet, never in my wild imagination did it occur to me that the possibility of interacting with my mother-in-law, of hearing her stories for the umpteenth time, of exposing my children to the resilience and persistence of this godly woman would come to an end so soon.

Tony’s mom, Darlene, had not only lived through the depression, but had also endured marriage to an abusive alcoholic and subsequent divorce. She persisted in her Christian walk during devastating circumstances. Darlene met Tony’s dad, experienced a wonderful marriage and raised 4 children with not a lot of means. She then survived her husband’s death from pancreatic cancer and was able to experience marriage again to a friend from high school. Darlene was a survivor, a fighter! While I knew all this and admired her character, I tended to focus on her flaws…as if I have any room to talk!

Thus, I have been ruminating since Darlene’s death in April, “Do I cherish the time I spend with my loved ones? Do I make the most of that time as if it could be the last?” It’s not that I am now a doomsayer and think the worst might happen; it’s simply that I want to enjoy the moments while I am with the ones I love…even if they are difficult people. I want to live with no regrets!

Earlier this summer my family and I traveled to California to celebrate my grandmother’s 90th birthday. The last time I visited with my namesake, she had just turned 85, and truthfully, I’m not sure I pondered as I did this time that it might be the last time I see her. She’s a healthy, vibrant woman with a mind that is still sharp as a tack. A kind, gentle woman, who most likely handed down to me my “blonde” brain, she is proud of her legacy. She stood in awe and said, “I can’t believe I did all this”, speaking of her 3 children, 10 grandchildren and 19 great grandchildren. Lois is not in denial, however. She related that the doctor gave her a clean bill of health, but she said, “I could die tomorrow.” That kind of talk makes me want to stick my fingers in my ears and say, “La, la, la, la, la, I’m not listening.” And, yet, I know it’s true. There are no guarantees in this life…even if all the tests come back great.

The point is this: savor the time you have with those you love. I wanted to soak up every minute with my grandma. I desired my kids to know the kind of person she is, hear her life stories and experience her kindness and unconditional acceptance. Someday the opportunity to communicate with her will be taken from me, and just like the unexpected deaths of my in-laws, I won’t be prepared. Yet, I can learn a valuable lesson from the past events of this year. Don’t take the people in your lives or the time you have with them for granted. No matter how challenging the relationship might be, value, love and accept the time God has given you with those you love.

Precious Moments

2009-02-17T08:41:00.004-05:00

My just turned 8-year-old, Maddie, climbed into bed with me yesterday to snuggle. Because it was a day off school, I had told her the night before that if she happened to wake up early, she was welcome to warm up next to me. We both fell back to sleep until later when I heard her climb out of bed and quietly exit my bedroom. I arose a few minutes after she did and padded into the kitchen. There she was, sitting in the "quiet time" chair in the living room, reading her devotion for that day. What a beautiful sight! It was one of those moments in which I was ecstatic to have her mimic my own behavior in the early mornings.

Of course, when I was spending some time reading Scripture, she was "done" and began to talk incessantly until I finally gently reminded her that I was still needing some quiet for my own devotional time. She replied, "I know...I just can't stop talking!" My sweet, precious, little chatterbox who is learning to spend time with her Savior...

An Unexpected Gift

2009-01-20T09:35:00.004-05:00

I love surprises! The other day, I trudged up the stairs after my elliptical exercise with Fox and Friends and noticed a large box sitting at the top. I deduced that Maddie intercepted the mysterious box from the delivery man while I was preoccupied with my heavy breathing on the machine downstairs. I was puzzled because I knew that I hadn't ordered anything...lately! Noticing my parent's return address on the label, I concluded that mother was sending Maddie's birthday gift early...at least 3 weeks early. Strange!

Then, I opened the box and discovered this: a beautiful birdhouse masterpiece!

I immediately burst into tears. You see, it was a gift from my daddy! Out of the blue. No reason. Simply love. A few months ago, he revealed that he was working on some birdhouses for the Christian school auction. I commented in passing that I would love to have one of his birdhouses. It never occurred to me that I would receive a gift in the mail. My daddy loves me. He thought of me. He gave me...not a birthday gift or a Christmas gift...but a love gift. Thank you, daddy! I can't wait to see the birds that will use this beautiful home to build their nests.

If my earthly father gives me such sweet and precious gifts, how much more does my heavenly Father give me? I pray that my eyes will be opened to all of them...

Not Your Average New Year's Resolution

2009-01-07T10:06:00.006-05:00

Over the years, I have made more than my fair share of New Year's resolutions...and broken them within a matter of weeks. I've promised to eat healthy, exercise regularly, spend quiet time each morning with God, be more patient, loving and kind. This year, I've turned over a new leaf and instead of making a list of goals, I'm praying a couple of verses from Psalms.

As I was finishing out the year reading my One Year Bible, Psalm 143 leaped off the page. These verses, which I have now memorized, have become my prayer for 2009:

"Let me hear of your unfailing love each morning, for I am trusting you. Show me where to walk, for I give myself to you. Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing." Psalm 143:8,10

'Let me hear' inspires me to be in God's word each morning, so I can receive his words for me. 'I am trusting' and 'I give myself' requires action on my part now and continuously. As I trust and give, he will 'show me' and 'teach me'. He is personal; he is 'my God'. And, he will 'lead me forward', not backward...on 'firm footing', not shifting sand.

What will be your prayer this year? Whatever comes across my path this year, amid trouble or blessings, my desire is to be found faithful and trusting in my huge God who is able to absolutely blow my mind. May I say as the people said in Mark 2:12 when the paralytic was forgiven and healed, "We have never seen anything like this!"

I Think I'm BAAAAAACK!

2009-01-06T20:39:00.004-05:00

I have taken a long hiatus from blogging. Call it pre-occupied with life's busyness, burnout or any number of other excuses. I simply haven't taken the time!

Recently, however, after looking at a friend's newly redesigned page, I've been re-energized to begin again. So, for all of my vast numbers of readers, you can get look forward to seeing more frequent posts. Keep your eyes pealed...

Our Tooth Fairy Must Be Blonde

2008-09-24T09:28:00.005-04:00

I'm very concerned about our Tooth Fairy. I don't know if you've ever experienced this problem before, but I have multiple times now. To be more accurate, our kids have. It's heart-breaking to watch these kids of mine arise in the morning, excited to see what the Tooth Fairy has left in exchange for their itty bitty teeth, and then...wails and sobs break out because they have received absolutely NOTHING! That dirty, rotten, scoundrel Tooth Fairy. How dare she (or he) forget my children.

It's incredible to observe how creative this Loser Tooth Fairy has become over the years. On one occasion money magically appeared underneath the pillow after the child had awakened and left the bedroom. How did the Tooth Fairy manage to do that so sneakily, and how could the child be so naive to think that he missed seeing the money in the first place? Another time, that savvy Tooth Fairy placed that dollar inside the pillow case and forgot to take the tooth. We simply explained to our daughter that the TF probably wanted her to keep her tooth for posterity. She bought it, hook, line and sinker.

And the latest episode of the TF with Alzheimer's occurred a few days ago. A groggy, distraught Maddie plodded into my bathroom in the morning upset because once again the TF forgot to leave money. "I checked everywhere, even in the pillow case!" Picking up my daughter, I stepped into the kitchen speaking loudly to hubby, "Can you believe that the Tooth Fairy forgot to leave money AGAIN?" Wink, wink. He's getting the picture clearly, and as I hand him my wallet, he sneaks out to the rugrat's bedroom. A few minutes later, he appears saying that he thinks the Tooth Fairy did visit during the night, but left the money in a different place this time. The Tooth Fairy loves a good scavenger hunt! Walking into her bedroom, Maddie begins checking under all the pillows, looks behind the bed and doesn't find anything until daddy says, "You didn't check underneath your baby's pillow!" Wow, he's so smart. How'd he think of that? Well, there lay four quarters ready to be handled by her grubby, little hands. "But, she always leaves a dollar!" Maddie cried.

Forget the Tooth Fairy, we need to work on this girl's math! All's well that ends well. Sigh.

Guilt-free Living

2008-09-11T16:08:00.005-04:00

Here's my article from the latest edition of our women's newsletter entitled DivineLines:

One Trip You Don’t Need to Take!

Many of us take vacations each summer to take a break from our normal routines, enjoy undivided family time and indulge in much-needed relaxation. Unfortunately, those trips don’t seem to last long enough, a week or two at the most. On the contrary, as a woman, I have found myself taking the same trip over and over the past…hmmm…30 plus years. You know the one I’m talking about. The infamous Guilt Trip. Yep, I seem to repeat this trip often, sometimes against my will and better judgment. Why do I do this? Why do I beat myself up for what I do or don’t do, should or shouldn’t do?

One of the areas I’ve felt guilty over during the last few months is not accomplishing enough at home. After all, I am a stay-at-home mom, so my house should be spotless, right? Why do I feel the need to explain my productiveness to my husband who has been at work all day? I certainly wouldn’t want him to consider me a slacker, so I must spout off, “I have done 2.5 loads of laundry, put the dishes in the dishwasher, swept the kitchen floor (well, maybe ½ of it, but I feel the need to stretch things a bit), and folded the towels that have been laying on the couch for three days.” Why do I need to make myself feel better by relating all I have accomplished for the day, and why do I feel guilty about telling him that I shared lunch with friends or spent much needed time reading a book? Why do I put so much emphasis on what I am doing (the outward) and spend little time just being (the inward)?

Another guilt-ridden area has to do with raising my children. You know, my parenting just isn’t adequate enough; I should be doing a better job. Why is it that often times when I hear about a great idea that is working in a friend’s family, guilt emerges? Ever been around someone who mentions that they are having family devotions weekly and a meaningful prayer time as well? I’m not knocking those who are doing this; frankly, I’m just jealous. Oh, I’ve started this family devotion thing at various seasons throughout my parenting career and each time it’s been a habit for about a week. The older kids appear disinterested and uncommunicative while baby-of-the-family, life-of-the-party Maddie climbs all over the couch, expelling bodily function noises and causing the older kids to perk up and laugh at her antics. End of devotions. End of meaningful prayer time. My guilt level rises because family devotions aren’t working. In addition, guilt plagues me with thoughts that I should be playing more with my kids; I shouldn’t let them watch so much television; I should be driving them to school, not making them take the bus; I should make crafts with my kids. I seem to easily forget about the things I am doing to raise my children well, such as playing games with them, reading to them, having meaningful conversations in the car as I drive them to various sports activities.

The list of guilt is endless, isn’t it? I don’t contact my mother-in-law enough; I shouldn’t eat that piece (or bag) of chocolate; I should volunteer more at my child’s school; I should call my friends more often; I’m not doing enough at church or for my small group; I shouldn’t eat out so much; I should eat more healthy; I should exercise more; I should be a better wife, mother, daughter, employee. My guilt and perhaps even yours transcends into the spiritual realm. I should read my Bible more; I should pray more; I shouldn’t have gossiped about that person; I should forgive her; I’m not loving enough; I’m not patient enough. I could find areas of my life to feel guilt over ad infinitum. How do I assuage this guilt?

I’m still in process, but some things I’m learning are:

Give myself permission to do things for me, such as reading, exercising or spending time with friends. Recently, I talked with a friend who has a goal to read 40 books in the next year in order to challenge her mind to continue to grow. My goal is to read meaningful material an hour a day. I’m learning that it is okay to take time to refresh my soul and body; in fact, to be a better woman, wife and mom, it’s vital.

Give myself permission to say ‘no’ in order to say ‘yes’ to the more important. So many times, I’ve said ‘yes’ to wonderful service opportunities out of guilt only to be very sorry later. About two years ago, I was severely overcommitted, leading several small groups and not doing any of them well. Since that time, I’ve learned that just because someone considers me qualified to do something, doesn’t mean I’m the person to do it. I learned the hard way that it’s all right to say ‘no’ to a greater ‘yes’. I prayed about what I should be involved in, how to best utilize my gifts, and where I was most passionate. When you know the place to which God has called you and where He has not, you can avoid the guilt trip.

Give myself and my family the freedom to be different from other families. While I was growing up, I would constantly spout this phrase to my mom, “Linda’s family lets her do _________” to which she would reply, “Well, we aren’t Linda’s family.” Hmmm, seems as if we could put this into practice. Each of us is uniquely and wonderfully created. Not one of us is the same, so that means that the inner workings of our families will be different. I don’t need to feel guilty because I’m not a Barbie-playing, Play-doh-loving mom. It’s unfair to compare myself to my friend who is, because on the flip side, I may do things in my family that cause her to take the guilt trip.

Just in the last week, I’ve heard the word “guilt” more times than I can count. We feel guilty about everything, don’t we? While I don’t want to downplay the role guilt plays in bringing us to our knees before God when we have sinned and need to make things right, so much of our guilt stems from our comparison to what others are doing in their lives. We do need to feel conviction and confess when we have slandered another’s name, harbored unforgiveness, or said harsh words to family members. When God forgives us, He sets us free from the guilt that may linger over our sin. However, we need to be free of guilt in areas that cause us to compare our lives with others and thereby cause us to believe that we are not measuring up or that we are somehow failing. When we are tempted to take that guilt trip, we need to choose to decline that vacation for even a day. Give yourself permission to be different from others and give yourself a much-needed break from that particular trip!

A Little Tennis Anyone?

2008-09-10T19:17:00.005-04:00

It was a slightly misty moment for me as I watched my son, Nick, walk off the tennis court last night. I've done fairly well holding it together as a mom of a senior student, but last night was an indicator that I may be losing it soon. After four years of playing tennis in high school, four years of hard work, four years of persistence, four years of sporadic playing, Nick played his first Varsity doubles match. And, it was a good night. A proud parent's dream. A true gift from God to see.

Label me sappy, but it truly was Nick's shining moment after years of being patient, years of being a faithful team member, years of working hard with not a word of complaint. He and his doubles partner started off colder than the ice in my refrigerator and lost the first set. Trust me, I was getting a little nervous. This varsity debut was not starting off well. As the match progressed, however, they began placing shots well, taking their opponents off guard and gaining ground. The second set ended 6-1. Tied at one set each, they began the third set for the tie-breaker. South teammates began to rally at the bleachers because this last set was going to seal the fate of the entire school match. If Nick and his teammate didn't win, the school would lose to our opposing team. No pressure!

In a blaze of glory, like Mavericks, they took out the other doubles pair with a 6-0 victory! Their victory gave Bloomington South their first Conference Indiana win. My boy was part of a great moment.

It's as if someone lit a fire underneath those two boys, they exchanged lack of confidence for a "we can do it" attitude, and they tore the court up. These are the beautiful gifts that I thank God for. These are extraordinary moments in my ordinary day in which I see God work. He gave Nick the spotlight, and as a parent who knows the effort and sacrifices he has made to be part of this team, it is something I will always treasure.

Grave Matters

2008-09-07T19:07:00.009-04:00

Last weekend on our way up to Lake Tippecanoe to spend the weekend at Tony's brother's lake house, we stopped by Tony's dad's grave. Our youngest, Maddie, hadn't recalled ever being there, so we decided to show her. She's heard a lot about Grandpa Stonger even though he died years before Tony and I met and married.

As we strolled through the tiny cemetery surrounded by cornfields on three sides, we perused the graves looking at names and dates. Maddie was extremely curious why her grandpa was buried in this particular place. After explaining that the location was conveniently close to where the family used to live, she spouted, "You know where I'm going to be buried?" Wondering what that busy little mind was up to now, we asked, "No, where?"

"In the backyard!" she exclaimed. Of course, why didn't we think of that?!

Is Summer Really Over?

2008-08-24T18:34:00.007-04:00

It's been so long since I've posted that I can't quite decide what to write about. Perhaps it's just best to keep my re-entry into bloggy world rather short and sweet. I'm fairly certain that most of my readers don't desire to hear about every little tidbit of my summer that is now becoming quite past tense. C'est la vie, as the French would say. I despise the passing of summer only because it means the inevitable is coming...WINTER! Winter and I do not have a good relationship. It's cordial. We agree to disagree, but we do not love each other like summer and I do. So, I refuse to discuss winter until absolutely necessary.

Back to summer and the myriad of topics at hand. The abbreviated version of "what I did on my summer vacation" is as follows:

1 week of Vacation Bible Xperience (back in my day...VBS). Lots of noise, fun and complete exhaustion by the end of the week

1 weekend trip to St. Louis, MO for an annual business meeting with hubby's company. Fun experiences traveling to the top of the arch and attempting to find Maddie in the City Museum. Such a surprise that she did not stick by our sides in that massive place and managed to get lost!

1 week long trip to Mother and Father's and M-I-L's (Mother-in-law) in Seattle, WA over the 4th of July. Way too much fun with family and friends.

1 week back at home with just enough time to realize my house had not been sufficiently taken care of and was in need of serious cleaning, de-cluttering, etc. But, oh well...don't have time because I'm off to another adventure.

1 week long trip on an amazing Mediterranean Cruise with the girls. Nick stayed home to hold down the fort and a job in addition to attending tennis camp. One of our stops was Ephesus which was truly an emotional experience. What an opportunity it was to see where Paul, Timothy and John preached...and even where Mary spent her last days! It was so nice of Nick to inquire as we were returning home from the airport if we were planning to stop somewhere on the way and eat. I thought he was truly concerned about our well-being while he simply wanted to know how much time he had to get the house back together!

1 1/2 weeks at home to assess how bad the deterioration of the homestead had become. Unfortunately, between gymnastics camp and other activities, housekeeping did not improve. What a pit!

4 day trip to the Willow Creek Leadership Conference sans hubby or children...just great girlfriends! What a grand time for absorbing, learning and processing new ideas.

3 day whirlwind in preparation for school beginning. Is it me, or does it seem a sin for school to begin on August 13? Again, back in my day, school officially begin after Labor Day. Our family did, however, manage to sneak in a trip to Holiday World and Splashin' Safari after the first few days of school. I'll just slip in a little Maddie aside here. As we were preparing to leave the house, I showed Maddie the pajamas she had left on the floor of her room. "You need to put these away." "Oh, mom, just put those in the hanker over there." "Hanker?" I replied. "You mean "hamper", don't you?" Just another word mishap in the life of Maddie!

That's it in a nutshell. My summer recapped in the short and sweet version. Many are breathing a sigh of relief even now that I didn't relate the interesting details of each port of call we visited on our cruise. They are clapping for joy that I didn't discuss the highlights of each of the speaker's topics at the leadership conference I attended. You can thank me later for sparing you the saga of my summer including the laborious details of juggling the car between my son and me in which most of my brain cells are now permanently fried due to the intense mathematical equations required to determine workable scenarios. It's okay if that last sentence didn't make sense. I'm convinced my hubby could probably commit me to the mental ward because of this car drama!

It's a great thing that I am not in school any longer to write the annual, "What I did on My Summer Vacation" paper. Either the teacher would fall asleep in complete boredom or recommend me for some serious counseling. In all honesty, my summer was exciting and fast-paced, and most definitely too short. I enjoyed time with friends and family as well as much-needed unscheduled time hanging with my children. Thus, I would say that these short few months were rich in relationships, and that's all that matters.

Thought for Thursday

2008-07-17T17:49:00.004-04:00

"I have gotten to the point in my life where I am rarely surprised by my sin, just saddened by it. Surprise indicates that I did not think I was capable of such wrongdoing. I now know that is rarely the case. Sadness helps me understand my need for Jesus. Sadness at my thoughts, behaviors, actions--or lack thereof. Sadness helps me understand that without Him, I am lost."

Looking for God by Nancy Ortberg

Ordinary Days

2008-07-11T16:29:00.014-04:00

My blogging days have been sparse to say the least. With school out, well, dang it all...if that doesn't put a cramp in my ability to post. Then there's those blasted trips out of state that'll seriously dampen one's blogginess. Some of my friends are fortunate to own a laptop and therefore, they can simply sit in their house by the beach, mountains or hotel room and type away. Still, I wonder how much relaxation that can be. "Sorry, honey, can't walk on the beach right now, I've got to blog." I wonder how frustrating that might be for familial relationships. I'm just thinkin' that my hubby wouldn't take too kindly to me saying I couldn't hang out with the fam because I must be about my bloggy business. Just a thought. Guess I'm glad I don't have a laptop. I'd hate to allow my blessed computer time trump my real life relationships.

Perhaps that's another reason my posts have been so few and far between. I've been out living life with flesh and blood folks. Oh yeah, and running children to summer activities. As my cell phone message says if you call and leave a message, "I'm out gallivanting around right now..." Not only that, I've been vacationing forever it seems. Well, according to my husband it was forever since he didn't fly with me to visit my family in Washington state. He had to stay home with our son, Nick...not because Nick needed a babysitter, but just because hubby couldn't take the time off from work.

To him, it was an agonizing nine days without me. To me it was a meager eight days...nine if you count the day spent flying home. I choose not to count that. He missed me immensely. I missed him too, but well, hmmmm, how do I say this without sounding cold-hearted? I love my hubby; I always miss my hubby, but in light of spending time with my family, enjoying conversation and catching up with my brother's and sister's families, I'm thinking I didn't miss him, miss him if you catch my drift. So, when he was hugging me after we reunited at the airport, telling me he missed me and loved me, my little, squeaky, "I missed you, too," sounded totally false.

That's not all. Truthfully, I wasn't ready to leave my family. I know that all good things must come to an end, but why? I absolutely love and treasure my family. We all get along, including the out-laws! The cousins love playing together. Amazingly, I don't believe one squabble erupted amongst them. How can anyone fight hanging out at grandma and grandpa's lake house? The 4th of July is spent around a bonfire roasting marshmallows for s'mores, singing patriotic songs and blowing up the lake, aka lighting off fireworks. We talk and talk and talk s'more. In fact, I'm pretty sure I used up my allotment of words each day and then some. My dad specifically told me that he overused his words. He probably had to take a couple of days rest from talking after I left. Sorry, Mom!

We also celebrated birthdays in big fashion. To those on the outside, we probably seem heartless and cruel in the way that we poke fun at our relatives. We royally roast our relatives so that they know they are specially loved. Three momentous birthdays occurred this year, and because we all live far enough away not to be able to join together on those days, we do our dirty work during our annual visit. With Mom turning 65 this past February, and my brother and his wife hitting the big 4-0, there was no escaping this rite of passage. My sister, aka "the creative writer genius", composed three songs in less than 5 hours during her trip over the mountain from Spokane. She always gets any skit-writing/song-writing gigs by default because she knows...a. that anything I would come up with would be lame (and I agree), and b. that anything Toby would come up with would be less lame, but still not creative enough. With two full-time careers and finishing up her M.B.A., Tricia works great under pressure...so we siblings felt absolutely no guilt giving her this task. She's always up for a challenge. Might I say that once again she was absolutely brilliant. With the lake as our backdrop, we dudes and divas crooned Tricia's creative words to the music of the karaoke machine. While no one chanted for an encore, the uproarious laughter and deafening applause caused us to consider perhaps taking our show on the road. Beware Partridge Family: you may be overshadowed by the Weston Family Singers.

Alas, as I said before, all good things must come to an end...and they did. Is there any wonder that I had difficulty re-entering real life? Back to routine, laundry, cooking, carpooling...ugh! I admit it. I was in a bad, bad place when I returned. No, I didn't need to be committed, but I had an Attitude with a capital "A". Topping it off were the things that did not get done while I was gone. I'm not mentioning any names, but apparently when momma leaves, life stops. I was awfully quiet and on the verge of hysterical crying, but I managed to contain myself and for once, keep my flippin' trap shut! This is good. You see, I knew that I was not in a good place in my mind and that I had a stinkin' attitude. My feelings were a jumbled mess and frankly, I needed to sort some things out before I started pointing my finger and naming names and their sins against me. What kinds of unrealistic expectations had I set up? What was so awful about the items on my list not getting crossed off that was causing the world to end? I just needed to get over myself. So, today (for once) I am pleased with myself. Every time Tony asked to 'talk about' what was bothering me, I said, "No." Now this isn't the "nothing's wrong" syndrome I don on occasion. Basically, I needed to figure it all out in my mind and determine if there was truly anything valid to say...otherwise I knew stuff would spew, and it wouldn't be pretty!

So, there you have it, beauty of celebration with family and ugliness of self all in one post. I'm back to ordinary days of life...filled with husbands and kids and dirty laundry and fixing meals. These ordinary days of life include celebrating birthdays with wonderful friends, as I did today, as well as rushing off to carpool girls to gymnastics. Most of these days are not wildly exciting, but that's okay. I know that even in these ordinary days, I have purpose even if it doesn't seem very grand or important. In God's eyes, it is important; my ordinary days do have value. I love what I read this morning from Nancy Ortberg's book, Looking for God that confirms this thought.

"Ordinary gives us a sense of purpose even in the mundane, a kind of freedom that releases us from the need to be important--a need that can weigh us down and sink us into our own pitiful selves. Ordinary gives a peace and joy and centeredness that turns us toward God and builds him deep inside of us."

"I wonder if we miss him sometimes because we miss how often the ordinary shows up--and the fact that God is there also."

Ordinary defines most of my days. I pray that I see God in all the ordinariness of doing laundry, feeding my family, spending time with my husband and children, meeting with friends and driving the kids' activities circuit. Whether or not my name is ever in the spotlight, God has given me a purpose to fulfill within my own family. It certainly has its many mundane moments, moments in which I question my value and whether something greater might be "out there" for me. Still, I know in my heart of hearts that this job he has called me to for right now is grander and more important than anything I could achieve for myself. And, this job of being solely a wife and mom in ordinary, sometimes bland days is more challenging and requires more focus on my Savior than anything I have ever done. I will keep looking for God to show up in my ordinary days of my ordinary life!

A Dozen Eggs We Won't Be Eating!

2008-06-20T15:04:00.005-04:00

The count is in...12 eggs total in three birds' nests in our yard! Peering through the deck slats, Maddie counted 4 eggs in the barn swallow's nest. Mommy bluebird is sitting on 5 eggs (and they are blue)! We were very sorry to have disturbed her tending to her eggs when we opened the bluebird box. There are 3 eggs (I think) in a nest we just found tucked into the corner of our arbor, hidden by our Wisteria. I don't even know which bird formed the perfectly round twigs, but it's most likely a Robin's nest. So, there you have it! We have a bird sanctuary right in our own backyard.

Not only that, but just a few short weeks ago, my hubby built a waterfall/pond for us to enjoy, complete with water plants and goldfish. After looking at the design of one at our local nursery, he built it in two weekends. It helps that we live in limestone country and can simply pick up rock anywhere. It beats buying flagstone at $4 a piece! Take a look at our lovely new addition to our backyard. It's not a pool, but at least we have a water view!

Maddie Moments

2008-06-13T16:49:00.005-04:00

One morning a few days ago, I came into the kitchen after finishing my hour of shower and primping. It was extremely quiet which is very unusual when one has a constantly chattering child like Maddie. I was just wondering where in the world she could be when Maddie nonchalantly appeared in the kitchen. Instantly, I was suspicious. "Where have you been?" I asked. "Putting something away in Nick's room," she answered. "Oh," I said as I turned to make lunch. After a pregnant pause, Maddie confesses, "And, then I accidentally started messing with Nick's stuff." Yep, I'm sure she could hardly help herself and just tripped into checking out the things in his room...quiet as a mouse she was!

Just Chilling Out

2008-06-13T15:52:00.004-04:00

School is out, and I haven't posted in a couple of weeks. Why in the world did I think I would suddenly have MORE time to blog with my kids at home? I barely have time to check my email anymore and can hardly check my favorite blogs. I confess that when I look at my bloglines once a week (that's about all I can achieve), and I see that there are 7 new posts, I simply refresh. I don't have the time to read them all. So, I apologize to all of you who've been wondering why I've slighted you with no comments!

I really thought that once school was dismissed, life would move to the slow lane. Unfortunately, it's crazier than ever. My teens flew out to Washington state this week; I have one child left at home, and I'm still running! Adding piano and swimming lessons to our already existing gymnastics practices has most certainly contributed to summer madness. So, why do I believe I'll get more accomplished at home with Maddie following me around? Why do I think that I will be able to get to those books on my shelf and do some in-depth study?

You know what? I suppose the answer is maybe I won't get to all of that, and perhaps that's perfectly fine. The best possible thing I can do this summer is spend time with my children while they are home. I need to lay down that concern that I'm not accomplishing all that I want to "do" and simply enjoy "being" with the ones God entrusted to me. At times, this is challenging because so many things beckon to me. My quiet time may be short; my blogging may be sparse; my reading may be less, but if my time with my children is meaningful and we are building better relationships, I believe God would be pleased.

I'm going to chill out this summer, spend time with my family and fit in the rest as I am able.

Much Ado about Birds...Again!

2008-05-28T14:57:00.007-04:00

While I have openly admitted to being a bird freak in a previous post, I confess there is one bird for which I do not have the warm fuzzies. This happens to be the red-headed woodpecker that for some particular reason enjoys drilling his beak into the gutter directly outside my bedroom window at 6 am. I wouldn't mind this wake-up call during the school year; however, he (I'm assuming it's a "he" because "he" is simply annoying) doesn't actually begin his rat-a-tat-tat until May. It's as if he is doing this on purpose just to be bothersome, and then of course, he flies to the suet feeder to feast on yummy treats. Today, however, I beat him up before his loud drilling sounds began. "Ha," I thought, "You're late today. It's 6:15, and I'm already up!"

Red-bellied Woodpecker

Aside from this furry creature from the pit of you know where, fabulous doings of the bird realm are happenin' at my place. And, I simply love it! Two barn swallows are building their mud nest underneath the deck. I've been watching their progress, and so has Bella, the bird-chasing dog. She peers through the slats of the deck, notices their movement and begins barking like the ferocious bird-hater that she is. While the eggs haven't been laid yet, I look forward to watching the progress and eventually seeing sweet, little baby swallows.

Barn Swallow

I've saved the best for last! For several years, we've provided a bluebird house for those beautiful beings to build their nest, however, until this year, no one has taken up residence. I've been spying on them over the past few days with my trusty binoculars. These bluebirds are busy gathering dried twigs to prepare their nest. Yesterday, Maddie and I opened the box to see what they were doing and saw a nice, neat little nest for those new babies.

I'll be watching like a hawk for the birth of all my new birdies! How thrilling it is that God put these little creatures in my backyard just for me to enjoy!

Bluebird

Three Cheers for the Bulldogs!

2008-05-21T08:47:00.004-04:00

You can imagine my utter shock at my results to this quiz. After all, I attended high school eons ago. I was fairly sure I had forgotten just about everything I had learned. Apparently, I've still retained some of that knowledge, and it's been laying latent in my brain just waiting for this quiz. Must be that great teaching I sat under at good old West Albany High. Go Bulldogs!

Have fun!

You paid attention during 91% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

The Crazy Month of May

2008-05-16T14:28:00.004-04:00

It's that time of the year. No, not spring, although I'm thrilled that it's finally decided to show up. Nope, not the end of the school year, although I'm ecstatic about not getting that 6:15 wake up call for a few months. What I'm talking about is the "divide and conquer" scenario that husbands and wives do frequently in the month of May. In a world of spring concerts, awards nights, end of the year school carnivals and every other end of the year celebration, there's bound to be some conflicting activities. When one has three children, this can almost be a regular occurrence.

Thus, this past Wednesday evening, my hubby and I enjoyed a leisurely five minute meal before he escorted our youngest to her kids' choir musical. Nick and I skedaddled out of the house several minutes after them to attend his underclassmen awards night. For the life of me, I don't know why the powers that be don't coordinate with my schedule, so that our entire family could celebrate our children's accomplishments.

Proud parent that I am, may I just slip in the four honors Nick was awarded...2 year 4.0 GPA, Outstanding student in Sounds of South, National Honor Society and Outstanding Algebra II student. On a more serious note, I believe next year, I'll have to send the school my calendar so they can schedule these things around my oh-so-busy month.

Another little piece of trivia from the evening is that we be-bopped out of the awards night as soon as Nick was awarded his honors. Before you gasp at me with "I would never do that," please walk a mile in my shoes. With a former last name like "Weston" in which my family waded through the entire alphabet to get to me, you can just imagine the temptation to leave after the name "Carlsberg" was called! So, we gave in and escaped the drudgery so we could use our time more wisely. I believe checking email and eating ice cream cones is a much better use of my time, wouldn't you agree?

Next weekend we get to divide and conquer again when Tony heads to "Gymnastics Awards Night" with the girls, and I enjoy beautiful music courtesy of Sounds of South at their finale in which Nick is singing. One of us will take the camera; one of us will take the video. A few hours later we'll meet back at the homestead for a little recap of our evenings. We'll collapse on the couch and breathe sighs of relief that we have maneuvered through another crazy May.

It's quite possible that you may hear a high-pitched scream for joy Tuesday, May 27 at approximately 2:30 or 3:00 pm belting out, "Yippee, school's out!"

This One's for the Birds

2008-05-11T00:21:00.009-04:00

I absolutely love spring...redbud trees, tulips and daffodils, lilac bushes all budding out and bringing beauty and life to my once drab, brown world. I love to hear the sound of lawn mowers trimming the grass to a beautifully manicured state. I love the smell of newly cut grass and breathing in fresh, cool air before the humidity sets in. I love to peruse and of course purchase new flowers to add to my various gardens. I love to meander through the yard to see what new buds are popping out...that the deer haven't demolished yet. I did gain some wisdom this year and planted some "poisonous" plants that supposedly the deer will not devour. We'll see. I'm still holding my breath.

Even more than all the wonderful things I've listed above are the birds! I have become a bird fanatic. While I don't admit to being an expert, I love to watch and listen to them. At my birdfeeders, I spy on Black Capped Chickadees, Towhees, House Finches, Yellow Finches, Titmouses and of course, all kinds of woodpeckers. Each one has such distinct, beautiful sounds. One of these days on a nice warm morning, I'm going to grab my camera and simply sit quietly on my deck waiting for one of these birds to feed. I'll fancy myself one of those fabulous photographers lurking in the wild to get that close up shot of a ferocious animal. Ok, not quite the same, but I'm excited about it.

During spring, I am animated with God about creation. Driving last week, I saw an amazing sunset. Beautiful, bold oranges and reds in a big round ball sinking on the horizon. I flat out told God what a great job he did with that, what an awesome creator he is. Earlier this week I was planting my garden, just a few things for salsa, our main staple in the summer, and my favorite bird to watch perched on the swingset. This majestic big boy, my buddy the pileated woodpecker, looked right and left, right and left, just to make sure the coast was clear and bee-lined it to the suet feeder. I sat as still as a mouse watching. Another God moment. Another time that he chose to show off his perfect creation to me. Grateful for this opportunity, I thanked him again, admiring this beautiful creature before he took off for the trees. I know he lives near because he comes often to eat the food we provide.

I hope you take the time this spring to enjoy the beauty of God's creation around you. Sometimes in all of our busyness, we fail to notice what he has placed right in front of our noses.

Musings in Which I Admit I Am Old and Don't Understand the Thrill of Texting

2008-04-29T22:54:00.010-04:00

Recently, I turned the ripe old age of 44; I'm not afraid to admit it. The problem is that I find myself saying more frequently these days phrases like, "I just don't understand these little whipper snappers anymore...why back in my day, we never had (fill in the blank here). In fact, we had to walk 6 miles in the snow barefoot in Southern California." (Actually, that last line isn't true. My dad used to tell us little chitlins that a million years ago.)

What I'm talking about here is this texting thing...you know, with the cell phones? Whatever happened to dialing a number and talking personally to someone? I know that texting can be advantageous when a person simply needs to relay a quick message to someone. For example, I've been known to text a child or two, "What r u doing? B home @ 6. C u soon. Luv u!" (I must tell you that typing abbreviations like this go against my former English teacher brain, but I've succumbed.) Something like this usually takes me 15 minutes with several "clears" in the process to get the right number or letter since I frequently zip over it. My teens can text this same message underneath a desk...say...at school (aghast), never even peering at the screen or buttons they are pushing. Before you think I am poo-pooing the whole texting thing, I'm not...I just don't get it yet.

Back in my day (there I go again), we relished hearing another person's voice. I spent hours (before my mom kicked me off the phone) talking to friends via wall phone, held captive by a cord with a radius of about 6 feet. My attention was undivided except for Brady Bunch or Gilligan's Island reruns. I wasn't even glued to a textbook. Texting is just so impersonal inspite of the multi-tasking opportunities it affords cell phone carriers. My kids can watch tv, do homework, check Facebook AND text at the same exact time. Our house abounds with the sounds of vibrating text alerts every two minutes or so.

What astounds me most is that my children can actually carry on an entire 2 hour conversation by text that I could accomplish in a 15 minute phone conversation. Is this screaming "time waster" to you too? I remember in particular one day that my husband texted me from work asking me what I was doing...what the plan was for the evening. I began to text a reply, nixed that idiotic, time-consuming idea and promptly dialed his cell phone number. Much, much faster in my estimation. My personal unasked for, unwanted opinion is that texting is perfect for relaying easy, SHORT messages to people who can't be disturbed by a phone call and to whom you need to get emergency information. Otherwise, pick up the phone and dial my number...or email me because I can return the reply much faster.

When I was a teen, my phone conversations were limited. I realize that this is difficult to believe for many, but I seemed to run off at the mouth a lot of the time, so my parents set boundaries for me. Well, this just isn't a problem in my household, so I've been in a state of confusion about how to set limits on this texting phenomenon. I WISH I could say to my children, "You've been on the phone for an hour; time to hang up now." Well, I guess I could say that about my 7-year-old since she'll talk to anyone on the phone, including a telemarketer. Alix, my 14-year-old doesn't take after "moi", Miss Chatty Cathy of the 80's. In fact, she despises talking on the phone. I've even been forced to teach proper phone etiquette to her. No, I'm not referring to the "who may I say is calling" phrase before handing the phone over; I'm talking about simply being "nice" to her own friends when they call and not appearing particularly perturbed that they've interrupted whatever it is that she was doing. Texting is the ultimate way to have a conversation for a person like Alix who can do a multitude of other things while at the same time keeping up with her friends.

The problem is...how does one set boundaries on texting when the conversation never stops? I haven't quite discovered the answer, but I'm working on it and asking a lot of other parents questions about how they handle it. A couple of rules we set on vacation were:
1. Texting can occur while driving the 10 hours to and from D.C.
2. Once we arrive to our destination, texting can occur in the morning before leaving the hotel and after we return at night.
3. No texting allowed while sightseeing, during meals, etc.

Since then, we've set a few guidelines for home:
1. No texting during mealtimes.
2. No texting while doing homework because it takes twice as long to get homework done and is definitely distracting.
3. No texting once it's bedtime. (This is a new one which requires one of my darling children to recharge his/her phone in the living room as to avoid temptation.)
4. No texting during family outings/events.

I'm sure that once the Drama Queen herself is a teenager, technology will be completely different, and I'll have to relearn everything again. In the meantime, I'm reliving the good old days, reminiscing about the times an old-fashioned phone conversation was all the buzz and relishing the new-fangled technology of cordless telephones. That's really all I need to be happy...besides a friend on the other end!

Bella's Haircut, a Few Stitches and Some Unfit Parents

2008-04-22T14:20:00.006-04:00

Bella, our lively 3 1/2 year old Wheaten Terrier, survived a horrific accident last week. Since we are too cheap to take her to the groomer, we have taken it upon ourselves to trim her ourselves. She has the kind of coat which requires brushing daily so that she does not acquire mats. Because we are horribly irresponsible, we do not brush her even weekly, aghast...even monthly! Her mats were thick and her hair long, so it was time. Typically, I cut out the mats and then my husband uses the razor to even her up. Imagine my horror when I cut into her skin! She yelped and when I saw the damage, I was guilt-ridden. I dabbed it, figured it was probably okay (using my medical expertise with pets) and continued finishing the haircut. After all, I really wanted her to look beautiful for her vet appointment on Monday to get her long overdue shots. Allow me to also mention that Bella has also had an extremely smelly, waxy ear for several months which we have been treating with some sort of over-the-counter medication which has not been helping at all.

Monday I walk into the vet with Miss Bella in tow. She's excited just to get out of the house. We don't let her out much except to frolic in the backyard. Bella takes her shots like a man; however, when the vet examines her, she begins to interrogate me. "When and how did this happen?" I felt like a neglectful parent. Apparently, she actually needed sutures to close up this flap I created with the scissors, otherwise, it wouldn't heal properly. Bad mom, bad mom! In addition, the vet was shocked at the very bad ear infection she had. "What have you been treating her with?" I stammered, "Uh, some stuff we bought at the pet store." Not a good answer for the vet to hear. I knew that she wanted to report me to pet services for Bella's obviously abusive home life. I did tell the vet in all honesty that I had asked for Bella's forgiveness for the cutting incident. The assistant felt assured that she had forgiven me.

What was going to be a 10 minute shot appointment turned out to be a leave-your-pet-at-the-vet's-office, she's going to be anesthetized and sutured. Sadly, I left Bella behind to return later to pay the $357 bill. Next time I'll be a bit more careful when using the scissors. Poor Bella!

Breaking Up is Hard To Do!

2008-04-18T15:01:00.004-04:00

Yesterday, the DQ came home from school and asked for the phone. She apparently needed to call a boy named Justin who rides her bus.

Me: Is Justin the boy that was in your class last year?

DQ: Yes, only he's still in Kindergarten.

Me: Why do you need to call him? Girls don't call boys. (At least in my house they don't!)

DQ: I need to break up with him.

Me: You are only in 1st grade. You don't need to be going with boys.

DQ: Yeah, well that's why I need to call him...to break up.

Me: You're not calling him. Tell him on the bus tomorrow.

DQ: But, I'll forget!

Me (thinking to myself): Trust me, honey. You don't forget it when you don't like someone anymore and you need to break up with him!

Folks, this is what happens when you have an older daughter who is 14 and who is actually "going with" boys...although NOT "going anywhere". What's a mom to do?

Big Times in the Big Apple

2008-04-17T14:17:00.005-04:00

If you read my previous post, you'll remember that I was in a quandary regarding my preparations for the upcoming New York trip this past weekend. It was a difficult decision, and come to think of it, I don't really think I made a decision; the events just sort of happened. Of course, I HAD to watch the special presentation of American Idol "Gives Back", which, frankly, turned out to be a waste of my time. We always DVR the show, so we can watch it later, skipping through all those nasty commercials. Well, we got started very late...after 10 pm. Keep in mind that I had to be at the high school by 3:15 "a.m" in order to be bussed to the airport. I hadn't completely finished packing, and I was sitting on the couch at 10 pm to view American Idol. Very poor decision. At 11:30, I managed to break myself away to throw the rest of my clothes together and the 30 pounds of makeup I carry. I was just praying my luggage didn't register over 50 pounds. At 12:15 I lay down on the couch to sleep until 2:15. Yeah, right. Who can sleep when you know that you have to be up in 2 hours? I slept with full makeup on and my contacts in! I know, I know. Don't tell my eye doctor or the makeup gurus. I NEVER do this! I always cleanse my face at night. At my new age of 44, it's definitely necessary.

At 1:45 am, I was wide awake because I was paranoid that for some reason my phone alarm would not ring, and I would miss the bus. This was sounding vaguely familiar, like when I was in junior high or something. Resigned to the knowledge that I would not be going back to sleep, I chose to get dressed and freshen up my day old makeup. Yep, NO shower! I lotioned up extensively and sprayed perfume everywhere. Fortunately, my contacts weren't sticking to my eyes too badly. I awakened Nick at 2:30, so he could take his 5 minute shower and get himself together. These are the times when I wish I had a 5 minute regimen.

With an hour and a half of sleep under my belt, Nick and I headed to the school. I complimented myself that I was the very first to wish him a happy birthday! My newly 17-year old boy would be spending his special day in New York City. (More about the birthday boy in a later post.)

I had no worries about my lack of sleep because when I arrived at the airport, I planned to get myself hooked up to the Starbuck's IV. It appears that 65 other kids and adults had the same idea. I don't usually sleep too well on an airplane, but this particular day, I was sawing logs before the plane lifted off the runway.

That first day in New York was the longest day of my life. Even with all the excitement of seeing the city for the first time, the hustle and bustle of the masses of people, the video billboards screaming at me, the lure of all the shops, I longed for sleep. Don't you hate those days? I was angry that I wasn't fully engaged, fully enjoying the thrill of the Big Apple because all I could think about was taking a nap. That first evening, the entire choir had tickets for the Phantom of the Opera. Maybe not such a good idea. I REALLY wanted to love it, really wanted to enjoy every part of it; instead, I kept nodding off throughout the entire musical. It was absolutely amazing, the sections I saw anyway.

(Times Square)

After a fairly full night of winks, the next day was better. We were all still dragging but not quite as badly. The choir sang that day at St. John's Church, the first Methodist church in North America. Built in 1766, it was a little place smashed in between large buildings. The acoustics were amazing, and many of us were in tears as the kids sang. I can't quite wrap my mind around how beautiful this choir sounds; I just know that it evokes great emotion in me when I hear them. Of course, thinking about Nick being a Senior next year doesn't help a bit.

(Sounds of South singing at St. John's Church)

With a couple of hours before our next event, we walked a few blocks to ground zero. It's mind-blowing that after 6 1/2 years, rubble is still being sifted through. Construction is still occurring. That area is still devastated after all these years. We traveled to Battery Park and viewed Lady Liberty from afar and then we were off to Shea Stadium to sing the National Anthem at the Mets game.

(Sounds of South singing the National Anthem at Shea Stadium)

Saturday was our free day, so Nick and I, along with a few others, rode the subway to Battery Park where we planned to ride the ferry to view the Statue of Liberty and visit Ellis Island. Due to fog, we had to kill a little time before the ferries would begin running again, so we took a little side trip to Tiffany's. I just knew that Tony wanted me to find my birthday present there. It's extremely important when asking about jewelry prices in a store like this to avoid having your mouth drop open too much. I felt that we were very composed when we asked about the price of a certain gold charm bracelet and the answer was over $1,000. Wisdom whispered to me that this might not be the place to purchase my birthday gift. Even a silver charm was $125. Not quite on sale enough for me. Hmmm, come to think of it, I doubt Tiffany's has sales.

After waiting in line for an hour and a half, we boarded the ferry for our excursion across the river. Learning the history of Ellis Island was fascinating especially since my grandfather came through there from England. We gleaned all sorts of tidbits from the research we did on the computers they had available for us to use. He was only 8 years old when he arrived in American on his way to Wisconsin, and his family had $55 in their pockets. I can only imagine what his thoughts were when he finally disembarked that ship into this new land.

(Nick and I outside Clinton Castle)

(Statue of Liberty...duh!)

Saturday evening we ate a big group dinner together at Spanky's. Some of us wandered to Rockefeller Center and then shopped at various places, such as the 3-story M&M store, which was my personal favorite. Since I'm an avid M&M lover, imagine my delight in seeing that M&M's come in every color under the sun. Maddie loved the M&M umbrella I brought so much, she even uses it in the house!

(Radio City Music Hall...duh!)

Sunday was another free day until 4 pm when the buses came to transport us to the airport for home. We devoted our time to Macy's, FAO Schwarz and Central Park. The 8-story Macy's in New York makes our 2-story Macy's look like the Goodwill. This is serious shopping, and I didn't have nearly enough time. Guess I'll just have to come back. And, FAO? Buying a toy there for my kids would be like purchasing myself a Dooney and Bourke bag; both of which I will not do! The prices are seriously inflated. But, guess what? That's New York! Central Park was beautiful. In the midst of this city of 8 million people is a beautiful sanctuary for walking, biking and watching animal life. Taking a carriage ride through the length of this park would take 2 hours!

(Macy's in Harold Square)

(Central Park..looking at the Plaza Hotel)

I can't ever picture myself living in New York, but in a heartbeat, I'd jump on a plane and visit! If you don't like crowds, you probably should skip this trip. The people watching is great, and the sites are amazing. With a Starbuck's on just about every corner, Broadway shows abounding and an abundance of stores in which to shop, I can be ready at a moment's notice.

New York, New York!

2008-04-09T17:17:00.004-04:00

In just a few short hours, at approximately 3:15 a.m. (yes, that's a horrible hour) Nick and I will be boarding a bus that will take us to the airport and then off to New York City! Every year the school musical group he is part of (Sounds of South), takes a 4-day trip somewhere. It's not only a reward for their hard work all year, but also an opportunity for them to sing in other cities.

This year they will be displaying their talents at St. John's Church as well as Shea Stadium. Yes, they will sing the National Anthem at the Mets game! Not only that but we will also enjoy seeing the Phantom of the Opera and other fun New York sites such as Central Park, the Empire State Building and Ellis Island.

My poor, blond brain has been muddled all day. Perhaps you can help me...do I: a) stay up until it's time for me to leave at 3 am, b) go to sleep early, wake up at 2 am to take a shower and then leave at 3 am, or c) wake up in enough time to throw some make up and clothes on and leave without showering? It's just so confusing. And, if you know me, I DO NOT leave the house without make up on, so leaving the make up off is not an option! As Solomon once said, "Vanity, vanity, all is vanity." I confess that's me. However, I have no problems with dousing myself with extra amounts of body lotion and perfume in order to smell like I took a shower. But, look like something the cat dragged in? Not gonna do.

I'll be catching up when I return and relate all the wonderful things about New York City! It happens to be Nick's birthday tomorrow and mine on Sunday, so what better way to celebrate? Of course, I'll be writing about my wonderful boy as well...

New York City, here I come!

She's Asking for a Wacking

2008-04-07T12:31:00.011-04:00

This weekend while hubby traveled to San Francisco for a business trip and then jaunted to Seattle to spend a couple of days with his mom, the DQ slept with me for two nights. I believe she's genuinely excited when daddy leaves, so she can have a sleepover with me. Saturday evening, we were hunkering down...me with my book, she with a notepad and pencil. I urged her repeatedly to "put that up and go to sleep" which of course, she did immediately. Right! "Just a minute, Mom, I have to write this note."

I had set the alarm to awake me at 7:30 to get ready for church. Maddie asked me to wake her up when I got up and then also gave me a note to put on the nightstand in case I forgot.

To: mommy

Remember to wack me up at the same time as you get up. Thank you.

Love, Madisen!

I'm convinced she really doesn't want me to wack her up side the head in the morning, although, there are times I believe wacking would be effective with teens. Notice the exclamation point at the end of her name. This is a frequent use of punctuation in her writing.

In case you were wondering, no wacking was employed in the waking up process. The alarm was quite loud enough.

A Little Trip to Remember

2008-04-05T20:10:00.012-04:00

Almost a month ago, the five of us traveled to Washington DC for this year's spring break trip. Last year was Florida; this year, the Northeast. Frankly, the closer we came to the appointed time to leave, the more I was wishing we had picked Florida. We certainly weren't going to come back looking more tan than we had left! Still, leaving the snow behind, we ventured East and were pleasantly surprised at the beautiful sunny skies and warmer weather that awaited us.

The most exciting part about this adventure most definitely was that my parents were flying from Seattle to vacation with us. My mom and dad joke that they crashed our trip; however, I did sort of mention why don't they meet us in DC? Next thing I know, they've ditched an anniversary cruise for a week with their kids and grandkids. That's a little nuts, but you gotta know them. They kind of like being with their family. For some families, it might truly be agony to vacation with good, old mom and dad (no disrespect intended); however, for us, that was icing on the cake. They've always been hilariously fun to hang out with...except for when I was a teenager! The greatest thing is my kids (17, 14, 7) LOVE to be with their grandparents even at their ages. When I related to them that grandpa and grandma were meeting us in DC, they were ecstatic. One of them even screamed with delight! I really do think our kids would ditch us in favor of hogging g'pa and g'ma to themselves. This is only because grandpas and grandmas say "yes" a lot more than moms and dads do.

Anyway, I know that everyone has been dying to see these pictures and hear about our trip because of the excerpt I wrote so long ago in which I mentioned I would be blogging about this. I can't emphasize enough that everyone should take their children to DC at some point in their lives (preferably around elementary age and older). What a picture my children now have in their minds about all of those sites they've heard about, precious documents they've read about in school and places important to our country's beginnings.

One of the best things we did was to stay in a hotel right downtown, so we could walk everywhere...and walk we did! Our dogs growled and barked at us, but the sights were definitely worth the little yippers nipping. We packed more into our 4 days in DC than we thought possible.

(Day 1 - Arlington Cemetery)

Seeing the changing of the guard at the tomb of the Unknown Soldier was emotional. Twenty-four hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, this tomb is never left unattended.

(A few strays on the streets)

(Grandma and Grandpa with the grandkids)

(Alix taking a picture of the Washington Monument)

(Resting our "dogs" at the Air and Space Museum)

(World War II Memorial - remembering the sacrifices made for freedom)

(Day 2 - watching the sunset at the Lincoln Memorial)

(Looking at the Washington Monument from the Lincoln Memorial)

(Day 3 - Capitol Building Tour)

The Capitol Building tour was unbelievable. The assistant to our Indiana representative was our guide and did an outstanding job. We even experienced being evacuated because of some war protest threats! Our children loved sitting in the gallery in the House of Representatives and getting to be part of an actual vote. Not only that, but we were able to view the old Supreme Court chambers and see where Lincoln's desk was actually placed in the Senate. NOTE: we had taken a tour of the White House the previous day which was actually quite disappointing after waiting almost two hours for a scheduled tour. To top it off, the tour was self-guided which meant we meandered through rooms with no detailed explanations about anything. Thus, having a one on one guided tour of the Capitol Building was one of the highlights of the week.

Other places that we visited during our week were the Bureau of Engraving and Printing, where paper money is made, and of course, the Holocaust Museum. My dad and Tony took Maddie to the National Geographic Museum because of her young age. That was a wise choice given the graphic nature of some of the pictures and videos. I'm quite certain that no one desires to view the kind of evil that happened in our world during World War II; yet, it is most definitely not something any of us should ever forget. It was sobering to walk through this museum and deafeningly quiet. In fact, after reading and viewing so much information, I began to experience overload and walked zombie-like through the last floor. All of us were quiet as we eased out the door back into the "real" world. It's completely unbelievable that someone of such evil persona could murder 6 million people while the world stood silent, unwilling to get involved.

We traveled to Williamsburg, Virginia for our final two days of vacation. While our US government made its final resting place in DC, Jamestown was where it all began in 1607...the site of the first permanent British settlement. We visited a museum built on top of the foundation of one of the original buildings. It's amazing how many thousands of artifacts have been discovered there, and it is still an active archaeological dig site.

(Jamestown, VA well...it was a little windy)

(Yes, this is Pocahontas who married John Rolfe)

Our second day in Williamsburg was spent exploring Yorktown as well as Colonial Williamsburg. Yorktown was the place where George Washington conquered the British army in the last decisive battle of the Revolutionary War. Bunkers are still there showing where the British troops fought the American and French troops. Even more amazing was our tour guide...a Russian student intern. Imagine listening to her talk about American history!

(Listening to the fifes and drums on the streets of Colonial Williamsburg)

(The Governor's Palace, where one of the last Royal Governors resided)

(Standard decor in the entry of a palace in order to threaten the people...guns, swords!)

(The Cheese Shop, a sandwich place that a friend said we must eat at!)

(Last but not least, look at these two criminals we saw in stockades!)

Our family made enough memories to last a lifetime on this trip. While our dogs were fairly dead by the end of the week, the places we beheld where our history began, the monuments we viewed to honor momentous events and people, and the people we shared it with (mom and pop, aka gramps and grams) made the effort and pain all worthwhile! We loved every minute of it, including hotel card games of Zion Check and watching American Idol...you didn't think we would miss THAT show while in DC, did you?

Just had to add my mom's input on all our memory making in DC (she'll probably shoot me now):

Also, I LOVED your blog. After we talked I went online and read it (with stinging eyes, I might add) and loved it, loved it. That trip was a memory maker...who can forget the canolie? or what Maddie really thought of it? or trying to find the right sweatshirt for Alix? or Grandpa trying to kill himself running up the steps with Nick at the Lincoln Memorial? or Nick, Alix and me stealing away from you all in the Museum of Nat History going to the cafe and getting something to eat? (bet you didn't know about that!), or Tony falling asleep on the bed while we wouldn't leave until we played ZC? Or sending out for MickyD's on your anniversary? Now there's a memory for ya! (Annette & MickeyD's? No!) That's what is so great about pictures...they remind us of what we forget. Sorta like going to church...the sermon reminds us of where we want to be and helps get us back in focus. Anyway, I didn't want to say all this on your comment page, but wanted you to know...we'll never forget either. It was a trip "from God with Love." Love you tons and tons and tons...Mom

This is exactly what I was trying to convey...my family is soooo much fun. I can't hardly stand it!

Three Children...Three Reasons to Be Proud

2008-04-03T22:05:00.010-04:00

I've been thinking about this post all week, ever since Monday evening that is. Last weekend was one of those proud parent moments. Fourteen-year-old Alix competed in the Level 8 Gymnastics State Meet and received a high enough all-around score to compete in the regional meet held in Peoria, IL in May. It was a nail biter to the finish. Let me tell you, I'm one of those girls that likes to win by a long shot, not sit on the edge of my seat wondering if my team is gonna eak out a win in the last seconds of the game.

Alix finished the first three events, bars, beam and floor, needing a 9.075 on vault to get the 34.50 required all-around. No pressure. All of us were praying. In fact, Alix' coach texted a couple of other parents whose daughters had competed earlier to pray because of this awesome task set before Alix. It's a good thing that Alix' best event happens to be vault. Still, one doesn't want to have to rely on getting more than a 9. It would've been better to have breezed into this event only having to cinch regionals with...say...a 7.0. Much better on the parental nerves, I'd say.

So, Alix speeds down the track for her first vault (she gets two tries and the judges score the best one). When she lands, she takes about a million steps backwards until she stops. This is definitely not the vault we are looking for. Tony turns to Maddie and says, "You better pray for Alix." Immediately, Maddie drops her head, folds her hands and prays. Vault number two, Alix races towards the vault, catapults over with her souk and sticks it with one itty-bitty step. Hallelujah! Cheering ecstatically, we know this is most emphatically 9-worthy. Impatiently, we wait for the score to flash. Finally...the score pops up with a...9.1. Yep, we got it by the hair of our chinny chin chin, with a .025 to spare. Good thing I'm not given to chewing on my silk nails, or I'd have had some nubs for sure.

Later, I asked Maddie what she had prayed. "I just prayed for her to stand. Jesus was right behind her holding her up." Oh, the faith and prayers of little ones such as these. He most certainly was standing right behind Alix! I truly believe we witnessed a miracle that day, and Maddie certainly played an important role as she called out to Jesus on behalf of Alix.

The next auspicious occasion came the very next evening when we attended our son, Nick's induction into the National Honor Society. A record 130 inductees crossed the stage that night. I'm usually close to tears on proud moments such as these; however, with Maddie waving wildly at everyone she knew walking down the steps, my weeping was kept at bay. Then, the DQ (Drama Queen) blurts out, "When I get up there someday, I'm going to say (in her best British accent) 'thank you so much'." Our friends sitting next to us got a huge kick out of that comment. I guess there's a reason why none of the students are making speeches because of the possibility of someone like Maddie taking the opportunity to perform. Nope, I believe that when Maddie crosses that stage someday, she'll shake the principal's hand, accept her certificate and her pretty carnation, and if she attempts to go near a microphone, she'll kindly be escorted down the stairs!

Tony, Nick and me at the induction

Not to be outdone by her older brother and sister who had amazing accomplishments this past weekend, Maddie received honors as well at the reception following the induction ceremony.

Maddie speaking to one of the assistant principals (mouth full of cookie): "I just ate 6 cookies."

You know, I forgot to ask if she now holds the school record for cookies consumed by a 7-year-old at a school reception. I really do need to check on that...and find out why in the world her parents had no clue what she was up to. This is exactly why we now have a book by our bed entitled, "Have a New Kid by Friday" by Kevin Leman.

The conclusion to this post: ALL of our children are extremely talented in very unusual ways! Perhaps Maddie's claim to fame will be Prayer Warrior Extraordinaire...I would be very proud indeed.

Elizabeth Bennet...My Heroine!

2008-03-29T12:19:00.007-04:00

Take the Quiz here!

I suppose this is a fairly accurate description of me...(You are intelligent, witty, and tremendously attractive. You have a good head on your shoulders, and oftentimes find yourself the lone beacon of reason in a sea of ridiculousness. You take great pleasure in many things. You are proficient in nearly all of them, though you will never own it. Lest you seem too perfect, you have a tendency toward prejudgement that serves you very ill indeed.)

Confessions From a Former Shopoholic

2008-03-27T10:05:00.002-04:00

I am a former shopoholic. Up until a few years ago, shopping was one of my favorite pastimes. Whether simply browsing or partaking in some serious purchasing, visiting the mall belonged near the top of my top ten list of “Favorite Activities”. I didn’t desire to shop alone either. Friends were a huge asset in this endeavor. They assisted with choosing clothes to take to the dressing room as well as giving honest opinions regarding how the apparel looked. It was difficult to make these judgments by myself and not nearly as fun.

That being said, while shopping is still on my top ten list, it’s dropped in its ratings over the last few years. These days, when a friend suggests a few hours or a day of shopping, I frequently think, “Ugh. That sounds like work...hunting for and trying on clothes, spending money I don’t need to spend when there are so many other things I should be doing.” My husband seems to relish this new attitude of mine. What has happened to the woman who would literally jump at the chance to shop, plan shopping adventures and loved to look for new clothes?

Simply said, it’s my season of life. Between the five of us (six, if you count our dog) who need stuff and a household that needs stuff, I’ve had my fill of shopping. You know what I mean. Every time I turn around, I’m back at the grocery store piling food in the cart. Why do these people eat so much? And, why is it that someone in the family tells me that he is out of toothpaste right after I’ve just done the Target trip to get various other supplies? In addition, I always seem to have to head to that specialty store for some odd item that isn’t in stock at any other store on my regular weekly route.

Recently, Nick left a note requesting me to purchase a yellow polo shirt for a video that the youth choir was creating the next day. This is my role now; I’m a buyer of stuff on demand. I had no intentions of cruising to the mall the next day, but I made plans to hightail it there. In very uncharacteristic fashion for any woman, I marched in to the first store, saw a yellow polo shirt hanging nonchalantly and without further ado, bought it. Astounding! In days gone by, I would’ve never purchased the first yellow polo shirt I beheld. In order to be absolutely certain that it was the perfect yellow polo shirt, I would’ve scoured every store in the mall before acquiring anything. After all, how will I know if it’s the best shirt in all of polo-land if I don’t peruse every single one of them? That day I disclosed to my husband that he should be proud of me for walking in and out of the mall with the desired prize in a matter of minutes. I didn’t even succumb to the saleslady’s pitch for the 1.99 earrings or two shirts for $20.

I suppose I’ve lost the shopping mood with all the required monotonous buying I must do on a weekly and sometimes daily basis. Even this past weekend as I was examining the Macy’s “one day…lowest prices of the season” ads, I was apathetic. Basically, I didn’t feel like running one more place, doing one more thing. The $29.99 capri sale just couldn’t entice me to venture out.

In recent years I’ve discovered that while friends are fun to browse with, I find it challenging to seriously shop. During shopping events with friends, I somehow feel responsible for my friends’ happiness. Are they enjoying themselves? Would they rather be in the shoe department instead of with me in the jewelry section? Are they ready to move on to a different store? Do they even want to shop in this particular store? It’s so stressful that I can’t even think about trying on clothes for which I’m sure they don’t have the patience.

My solution is simple. I’ve begun to engage in two types of shopping. By myself, I power shop; it’s all about purchasing the items on my list quickly. If I don’t have time to don a bunch of clothes, I buy them, try them on at home and return the ones that aren’t going to work. When I make a date to shop with friends, I browse, enjoy coffee or lunch and don’t worry about whether I buy anything because this trip is all about hanging out and enjoying my friendships. In distinguishing between these two different kinds of shopping, I alleviate the stress that I seem to pile on myself. I reserve the hunt for clothes and various other list items for shopping alone, and my leisurely browsing…break for coffee…shop…break for lunch…shop…for those fun-filled hours with friends. During these times, if I don’t buy anything, it’s perfectly alright because the purpose was simply to enjoy browsing the stores and spend time with friends.

Maybe you’ve already figured this one out. It doesn’t surprise me that it takes this blonde, almost 44 year old brain to discover these amazing truths. If you ever see me by myself with list in hand, you’ll know that I’m on a mission.

The Girl With the Indoor Blood-Curdling Scream

2008-03-20T09:36:00.006-04:00

Fourteen years ago today, Alix graced our lives with her presence. What a beautiful little girl she was with a full head of dark hair that jetted straight up all over. She's still all that today except for trading in that dark stuff for an incredible amount of thick gorgeous blond laying down her back. She has the kind of hair people wish they were born with, even me!

If I thought my first born was a dream baby, Alix was a phenomenon. She slept through the night at 5 weeks old, soothed herself with her thumb at just weeks old and when she was old enough walk, never wandered from my side when shopping. In fact, she didn't even care about walking until about 15 months old. Alix learned at a very young age to content herself with letting Nick talk for her. Even when people she knew fairly well asked her questions, she looked to Nick to supply the answers...and he was completely willing to comply. Her thumb was her most treasured asset and went instantaneously into her mouth whenever Alix was presented with an uncomfortable situation.

None of my children are quiet children. All of them had one volume early on...LOUD. My brother-in-law, Steve, used to tell Alix, "Indoor blood-curdling scream, Alix" because he thought she was so loud...until he had his own child. He has since recanted and apologized. My children's loudness was accentuated by my brother's children unusually quiet voices. Their normal voices were whispers compared to the blaring sirens blasting out of my children. Alix still has a voice that carries over mountains and prairies. The more excited she gets; the louder the volume. Consequently, she gets shushed often even now.

While Alix swished down the aisle in a beautiful white dress when Tony and I were married, she is far from that princess girl today. Somewhere down the line, she traded in dresses for t-shirts and playing make-up and dolls for competitive gymnastics. At one point, she attempted to convince me that she was a tomboy to which I had to disagree. She has always been more of an "inside" girl than an "outside" girl. She would spend hours cloistered in her room reading to her make believe class or conversing with imaginary friends. She was equally content with or without friends by her side. She disliked playing outside in the snow; it was way too cold. No, she is not a tomboy!

While Alix' volume is loud, she is my most quiet child. That may sound confusing, but what I mean by that is she keeps her emotions and feelings to herself. Alix rarely expresses what she is thinking which is challenging to a person like me, who lays it all out there whether you want it or not. Our conversations occasionally happen like this:

Me: Alix, how was your day?

Alix: Good

Me: What did you do at school?

Alix: Not much

Me: What did you talk about in Sunday School?

Alix: I don't remember

Me: Surely you remember something. It was just an hour ago.

Alix: I think it was something about trust

Me: What about trust?

Alix: I'm not sure

This is frustrating for someone like me who enjoys sharing, talking and giving my opinion whether one asks for it or not. Alix is not one to offer ANY information, so I've resorted to obtaining information from her best friend's mom (who tells her mom EVERYTHING). And, I ask my daughter a lot of questions about her life. At first, she was a little peeved about this, but after a discussion about trust and parents needing to know what's going on in their daughter's life and TRUST and not getting to do anything if we don't know who her friends are and where she's going and what she's doing and TRUST...well, she began to get the picture.

(Alix and her friend getting baptized.)

While Alix is not openly expressive with her feelings or a crybaby like me, she is extremely compassionate. While she doesn't easily cry during a sad movie, she sheds tears for others who are suffering or in pain. She hates it when others feel bad or are sad. And, although she's not a huggy or affectionate person, she always inquires about each family member if they are not home. She cares deeply about family, yet she's not overly demonstrative. I remember having to teach her early on that she should hug her parents good night rather than just disappear into her bedroom. She begrudgingly did it by backing into a hug. With her, forward hugs must not last more than a second or she is squirming out of them!

Alix (on the right) and her best friend, cheerleading

Alix has been a competitive gymnast since 4th grade and for the last two years gave cheerleading a try. While Alix is a social queen, she is not a drama queen (that would be our 7 year old). Thus, she is retiring from cheerleading, citing petty girl drama as the culprit. She loves all her friends and became nauseated at the backbiting and the general "mean girl" syndrome of some her teammates. Besides, she decided that it is definitely more fun competing in a sport than cheering for someone else's sport. Still, hands down, she was the best tumbler of the group, and I'm not just saying that because I'm her mom. Oh, and let's just say EVERYONE could hear her cheering. Remember? Her volume is loud!

I've mentioned before in previous posts that Alix has inherited the airhead gene from me. She also is in her own little, Alix world quite often. It's often amazing to me that our family can be carrying on a conversation at dinner, and Alix is completely oblivious. She's got her own thing going on in her mind, and it never fails that she'll spout something out loud that has NOTHING to do with what the rest of us are discussing. We always get a good laugh at her expense!

Alix is truly one amazing girl. She's a straight A student with a blond brain to boot, highly self-disciplined, self-motivated girl in sports and school and sweet personality that desires to please others. Her social life is busy; her boyfriends last for two weeks; her stubbornness is like a mule! Her laugh is contagious and fun; her loyalty to her friends is admirable; her values and morality stand firm and independent of her peers. As a parent, I've learned much from having a daughter like Alix. While she's not like me in so many ways, I've grown to appreciate her personality.

Many times I've wondered if something was wrong with her because of her inability or lack of desire to express her feelings. After all, doesn't EVERYBODY want to share their every thought, feeling and opinion like me? That's what girls do, right? I've learned differently over these 14 years. My mom and sister have had a lot to do with my education on this matter. My younger sister happens to be much like Alix. Imagine having a talkative, emotional, opinionated, tell-all daughter (me) and when second born sissy comes along, she's LOUD, her voice carries, BUT she reveals no details about her personal life, keeps her opinions to herself and doesn't express her emotions to everyone. So my mom thought something was wrong with her. Over time and with my dad's help, she discovered that nothing was wrong; she was just a different person than I was...and it was ok! I remember asking my sister for advice many years ago when I was trying to process having a daughter not excited to tell me everything going on in her brain, and Tricia said, "You know what I wished mom would've done?" "No, I don't," I replied. "I just wanted her to leave me alone." Oh. Ok. Not exactly what I wanted to hear, but I guess what I've realized is that just because Alix is not telling me all doesn't mean that anything is horribly wrong. She just doesn't NEED to express it all.

And, since Alix is obedient, loves God and doesn't have a rebellious attitude, I suppose it's perfectly fine if she's not a carbon copy of her mom. And, everybody said, "Thank the Good Lord above for that!" Happy birthday to my sweet baby girl!

Oh Where, Oh Where Have I Been?

2008-03-18T14:46:00.003-04:00

I'm absolutely positive that readers around the world have anxiously been awaiting my next post...or not! (It's really more like 5 or so loyal friends and family that feel so obligated to read.) In case you've been wondering if I've fallen off the face of the universe, I haven't.

In the last couple of weeks, I've had to use my regular blogging time to study for the class I am co-teaching and then Spring Break arrived, and our entire family jaunted off for an educational tour of D.C. and Williamsburg, Jamestowne (English spelling) and Yorktown, Virginia. We walked our "dogs" off all over those famous places. Let me tell you, at times, our "dogs" were screaming at us to stop!

Although we arrived back in town Sunday evening and bloglife was calling to me, I had to exercise self discipline and stay away from the computer to attend to grocery shopping and dirty clothes. Yes, I did place a high priority on obtaining milk so the children could have their nutritious high sugar cereal breakfast. And, while the laundry is being washed, mounds of it just might happen to be piled a mile high on the couch screaming, "Fold me, please". Yet, here I am on the computer expressing to my oh so vast readership that I have not forgotten them.

Stay posted in the next few days for some scintillating posts and pictures about our trip as well as a post in honor of my 8th anniversary AND last but not least, a daughter who is celebrating her 14th birthday this week. Don't go away, I'll be right back....

Caught With the Chocolate Calories AGAIN!

2008-03-03T14:53:00.008-05:00

Saturday morning, Tony, Maddie and I (the only ones up at that point in the morning) were eating our pancakes and eggs while having a very interesting conversation.

Me: Maddie, what do you want to have to drink?

Maddie: I'll have water 'cause it has lots of calories.

Me: No, it doesn't.

Tony: What do you know about calories, Maddie?

Maddie: Mommy eats her calories.

Me: I do? What calories do I eat?

Maddie: Chocolate calories.

Ahhhhhh, caught again. I should know better than to think I can hide anything from that little sneak. All I can say is I inherited my deep love for chocolate calories. Dark chocolate anyone?

You Can't Take It With You

2008-02-27T20:06:00.010-05:00

I have been officially tagged for the very first time by Tina. I have never done this before, but I decided to give this a try. So, here it is!

The LOOK AT THIS STUFF! ISN'T IT NEAT? meme

1. Find five things around your house that say something about the person you are and snap a

a picture of them.
2. Tell us about them.
3. Link back to me in your post.
4. Tag five (if you feel like it) folks via their comments and tell us who you tagged.

This first picture is of our newly (last March) remodeled living room. If you can picture it pre-remodel, the only thing on this wall was the fireplace with mantle. We had bookshelves built on each side of the mantle and then an enclosure created for the big screen television. As you can see, lights come on at the touch of a button to highlight some beautiful pieces we've picked up on our travels. It has totally transformed our living area, and it has become our favorite room in which to hang out.

Another favorite of mine are these pictures that one of my all-time favorite artists drew...my dad. These are pen and ink drawings he gave us several years ago that after much procrastination on my part, are now framed!! The middle picture is of Aslan from The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. As you can probably tell, this picture is not hanging on the wall yet as we can't decide where exactly it's home will be. Obviously, these pictures hold great sentimental value to me, not only because of who created them but also because I believe they are quite good.

My dining room is another of my favorite rooms because of its color...merlot, and it manages to remain clean. You won't find any clutter in this room. Tony and I pretty much painted every room in our house using the wall-magic system, which is an easy way to faux paint. It's a great room for us to host the annual family Christmas. It doesn't get used much, but it sure comes in handy when the family descends from all points in Indiana.

We have an outrageously, unreasonably, out-of-control gargantuan bedroom which doesn't make sense at all considering the amount of time we spend in there. Again, wall-magic peachy colored walls with green accents. The colors make it a very warm room. I don't like it in the very early mornings of spring, however, when the woodpeckers tap into the side of our house mistaking it for a nice big tree. I'd rather not have that 5 am wake-up call.

Okay, yeah, I know this isn't a "thing", but isn't she the cutest mangy dog you've ever seen?! Meet Bella, our 3 year old baby girl. She's wearing some cool shades on top of her head. Bella Reena is a registered AKC Soft-Coated Wheaten Terrier with whom I have a love-hate relationship. Bella has this propensity to find trouble when she's bored or desires attention. Hmmm, sounds like my kids. I can't even begin to count how many flip-flops or other shoes she's destroyed at this point in her young life. Still, I wouldn't trade the family dog for anything...yet!

It's only taken me about a week to get this done! What I noticed about this little project for me is there's not really anything in my house that I consider myself particularly attached to...aside from the pictures that my artist dad gave me. I guess this is a good thing since you can't take it with you! I'm officially tagging anyone who reads this post and desires to put forth the effort. Let me know if you git r done!

Silence IS Golden

2008-02-23T12:05:00.005-05:00

You know, I never could understand until recently why my mom continually kept the radio volume low in the car. I mean, you could barely hear it! As teenagers, my siblings and I enjoyed loud music, so we could sing. We'd turn the volume up; she'd turn the volume down. It was a battle which she eventually won since she was driving. During my high school and college years, I studied and slept with the music playing. When I drove, music resonated from the radio the entire time. Today, I can drive across town before I realize I can barely hear the CD that's playing.

I have finally figured out this strange phenomenon. SEVERAL years older and three kids later, two of which are teenagers with blaring music blasting in their own rooms and one who consistently uses her outdoor voice indoors, noise abounds all.the.time. Even I have been known to boom some Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir or TobyMac from time to time. However, I must now admit to belong to the crowd who enjoys more serenity, stillness, peace.

A few days ago, the 24 hour creeping crud attacked, and I spent some time before the golden white throne and laying on the couch. I know, too much information. The school bus whisked the noisemakers off to school, and quiet abounded. I dozed, caught up on my One Year Bible reading and sipped Sprite. Despite being sick, it was glorious. No TV, no radio, no noise except the sound of my breathing. My husband called around lunch time to inform me he was coming home to take care of me. So sweet, so kind. Gee, I hope he doesn't expect me to talk 'cause for once (everyone take note because this NEVER happens), I don't feel like conversing. He bebops in the door, begins heating up the Chicken Noodle soup and flips the radio on! My low blood pressure began to rise. Alas, my perfectly, quiet day broken by the push of a button.

Fast forward to last night. Our youngest, who is always with us like the poor Jesus talks about in the Bible, attended her first birthday party sleep-over. Believe me when I say that ALL of us were excited for her night out! She kept telling us that she would miss us. Yeah, right! At dinner that evening, with Tony, the teens and Nick's girlfriend, it was unusually quiet. No outbursts, no interruptions, no incessant talking during dinner. We enjoyed normal, pleasant conversation. What a difference that one loud child makes. The family movie? No child hopping from person to person's lap, no talking during the movie, no asking for ice cream in the middle of if. And, bedtime? What a delightfully, silent experience. No cajoling, bribing, threatening those teens to get some shut-eye. No begging and pleading for them to hurry up and get their teeth brushed and go potty. Everyone, just simply hugged, performed their nightly rituals and went to bed.

Today, 9:30 am, Maddie burst through the door, fresh from the party, in all her glory ready to divulge all the delights of the birthday celebration. Silence flees. Stillness ceases. Quiet escapes. Noise reigns once again! And, right this very second as I click this keys? Blessed peace lives again. Tony whisked Maddie away to a bowling fundraiser. As he left, he remarked, "Well, you have the day to yourself!" I can almost hear a pin drop...Oh, how I love the quiet.

Moms Just Wanna Be Fun

2008-02-21T08:51:00.003-05:00

I have a new goal...to be more fun! Apparently, I used to be fun, and now I've lost my fun-ness...according to the Drama Queen, aka Maddie.

After church on Sunday, with just DQ (drama queen) and Alix in tow, I had to swing into the gas station since we were running on fumes. Immediately, DQ badgers, "Can we go to Subway? I'm hungry!" Allow me to interject at this time that ANYTIME Maddie sees a fast food joint, she is instantly hungry, EVEN if she just ate.

Me: No, we are not going to Subway.

DQ: (whining) Please???? I'm REALLY hungry.

I ignored her, got out of the car, set the gas to pumping and slid back in the car to stay warm. These Indiana temperatures are way to frigid for me to stand in the cold waiting for the tank to fill. While waiting in the car, incessant pestering continues.

DQ: MOM, look there's China Wok, Subway and Wendy's. We can go to any of those places.

Me: What about grilled cheese and ham at home?

DQ: NO, I don't want to go home to eat. C'mon, we can go to Wendy's. Mom, you're not fun anymore. You used to be fun.

Apparently, fun is equated with taking your children to eat unhealthy fast food. Well, that was all it took for me. I finished pumping gas, climbed back in the driver seat and promptly headed for the Wendy's drive thru. I NEVER want to be accused of not being fun.

Stirred Hearts

2008-02-20T11:33:00.004-05:00

I am a church girl...practically born and raised on the second row pew of an Assemblies of God church. Actually, my parents began their relationship with Jesus when I was two-years-old, but ever since that time, they took us kids to church pretty much every time the doors were open. These were the days of revival meetings...as my 7-year-old would say, "Back in the day." She's always curious if certain things occurred "back in the day".

Our family would plant ourselves in our pew, specially reserved for the Weston family during evangelistic meetings and missionary meetings from Sunday through Wednesday nights. Altar calls were definitely an integral part of the evening when many would venture forward to begin a relationship with Jesus, recommit their lives to Christ or answer a call upon their lives. Of course, I felt "called" at every meeting to be a missionary, whether it was to Europe or South America. I do remember specifically asking God NOT to call me to Africa. It was my greatest fear that God would somehow make me go to that scary place.

The special offering for the evangelist or missionary was also imperative. As a teenager and young adult, this offering time pulled at my heart strings. I was always stirred to give in order to help whatever project for which they were raising money. Perhaps this was partly due to the influence of my parents. No matter who was preaching, even the most boring speaker (yes, some of those sermons caused a few eyes to shut), my mom and dad always gave something. They desired to be part of something larger than their sphere of influence. This act of generosity prompted in me the same desires to have an impact on a grander scale. While I'm not in Africa or another country, God can still use the gifts I give to reach out to those who need His touch in their lives.

Last week, I had one of these "aha" moments as I read some verses in Exodus that convey God's instructions to Moses regarding the building of the tabernacle. Not exactly action-packed passages, but I saw things in a different light than ever before. Exodus 35:21 states, "All whose hearts were stirred and whose spirits were moved came and brought their sacred offerings to the LORD..." The verses following that state, "Both men and women came, all whose hearts were willing..." "All the women who were willing used their skills to spin the goat hair into yarn..." And, "So the people of Israel--every man and woman who was eager to help in the work the LORD had given them through Moses--brought their gifts and gave them freely to the LORD." Finally, "Their contributions were more than enough to complete the whole project."

God has not gifted me in the area of spinning goat hair into yarn; although, I don't mind at all shopping for anything made out of goat hair. Actually, I can't think of anything currently in my closet created with goat hair. YET, God does stir my heart to give. Sometimes, however, I don't act upon that Holy Spirit nudge. And, guess what? It goes away. I ignore it, and the desire leaves. Have you ever had that occur in your life? A time in which you felt prompted to give money or use your gifts and ignored it?

Tony and I have pounded this conversation to death. He wants to mull it over, chew on it, ponder it...whether to give to a certain project, and I want to write a million dollar check right now! Of course, I don't have a million dollars to give, but my desire is that strong. Tony wants to consider the needs around us and make a prayerful decision regarding where our dollars are best used. There's no right or wrong here. In fact, I believe there's room for both actions. In 2 Corinthians 9:7, Paul says, "Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver."

God seems to use more than one means to accomplish his work. He moves our hearts to give as we see the needs around us, and he desires us to choose to give certain decided amounts joyfully! Perhaps this is the difference between the tithe and other special offerings. Tony and I have made a conscious decision regarding our tithe amount; however, other gifts we can give as we see the immediate needs around us. I don't know about you, but almost every day we get requests in the mail for donations to various needy organizations. I desire to help many of them, but I also want to be a good steward of the money God has given us. We find ourselves caught in a crossfire of local, national and international pleas for help.

What's the answer? God will direct you differently than he does our family. However, a couple of things crop up in my mind as I consider this. First, I must not ignore the stirring of my spirit to give. I need to act on what is most likely the Holy Spirit prompting me. The amount is insignificant; that I give...is. Secondly, God does urge me to carefully consider what I give. I need to make choices where to give on all levels. As a husband and wife, Tony and I decide together the people or organizations we should support. This is challenging because we both have strong opinions about where our dollars can best be used. We do agree that we want to support the outreaches in our local community first and foremost.

Praying about where to give is essential. I can't claim to have heard an audible voice from God on this, but I do know that many times, His answers to our "where shall we give" prayer are the needs right in front of our faces. In addition, God wants us to be generous givers with whatever he has given us. I can't help but relate back to the Israelites in Exodus. When they gave, their contributions were MORE than enough to complete the whole project. In fact, Moses commanded them to stop giving. "And so the people were restrained from bringing more, because what they already had was more than enough to do all the work." Just think what could be accomplished if our hearts were stirred and our spirits moved to give, and we actually brought our gifts to the LORD!

A Love Worth Celebrating

2008-02-13T11:10:00.005-05:00

Not everyone loves Valentine's Day. For many who are single or in unhappy relationships, this day is not on their top ten list of holidays to celebrate. At one point, I was in that same boat...before Mr. Pancake Man entered my life! He's brought joy, laughter and fun, obviously. Even more, this love of my life is my best friend with whom I share everything...my joys, my sorrows and my longings.

Things I love about my man:

1. He loves me for who I am, flaws and all (and I have many).

2. He loves to hang out with me (even just sitting on the couch to watch the Colts or IU play).

3. He loves all our kids (including his two stepkids). Oh, I admire him so much on this one!!

4. He loves his Savior and is constantly working on being a better man of God. There's nothing better than seeing him reading his Bible!

5. He loves to travel.

6. He looks good in a tank top (I know that's more shallow, but he is one good-lookin' hunk).

7. He plays on my blondeness often (this isn't difficult to do).

8. He cries with me during movies. (what a manly thing to do.)

9. He cares about what I think about everything (and I mean e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g.)

10.He's always happy to see me at the end of the day!

Most days I count my blessings at having this unbelievable man in my life. That may sound incredibly sappy, but you'd have to know my history...you know, BEFORE Tony and AFTER Tony. For many years, I was so envious of other couple's relationships. They had something I didn't have and longed for. When God brought Tony into my life, I experienced true love beyond what I ever imagined. In fact, I remember one day asking my mom if she saw any red flags to please tell me. "No, Annette, he's your soulmate," she responded. Wow. That was so big to me coming from my mother.

(Niagara Falls)

Sure, we argue. Yes, we don't always agree. Many times I do get aggravated when he leaves the jelly jar out or forgets to tell me that he has a meeting and won't be home until late. But, in the big scheme of things...our love and commitment to one another...those things don't matter a hill of beans. He tells me every day how much he loves me and often says to the kids, "Isn't your mother beautiful?" To which they roll their eyes and murmur, "Whatever." If I happen to be cooking, he's always complimentary. When I try new recipes that he's not fond of, he gently asks, "Do you like this?" The kids just gripe and say, "Oooo, what is this? Have we eaten it before?" I would honestly have to say that he is much nicer than I am.

So on this lovey dovey (mmm...makes me think of dove dark chocolate) day, I celebrate my wonderful, crazy Mr. Pancake Man who loves me inspite of myself!

Unbelievably Scandalous Behavior

2008-02-11T13:54:00.000-05:00

Remember that little book I was reading to Maddie? The one about s.e.x? If you are totally confused, scroll down a couple of posts to get the gist of what I am about to relay next.

Maddie, apparently, decided it was "share" day at Sunday School yesterday. As I was attempting to put her name tag on for her class, she would not take her coat off so I could apply it to her shirt. I mistakenly thought she was cold and wanted to keep her coat on longer. So, I told her to just open up her coat, so I could slip on her name tag. She didn't want to. "I'll just take it and put it on myself." I insisted on putting it on her, and lo and behold...if she wasn't hiding the book, Where Do Babies Come From?, underneath her coat! My little, sneaky daughter was preparing to share with her friends, Hope, Ashley AND Daxton, all about the birds and the bees. And, yes, the book does contain pictures of a boy's and girl's body parts. Not a good thing to share in Sunday School. I believe she realized that it was inappropriate since she was sneaking the contraband in her coat.

You know that security line you stand in at the airport? Perhaps we need to have a security checkpoint before entering Sunday School so that any questionable material can be confiscated. I can just picture children having to remove everything from their pockets...rocks, gum wrappers, toy rings, coins...before they can come through the doors. Suspicious looking kids like Maddie will get patted down and have to remove their shoes and coats just in case they've stashed inappropriate objects in order to influence innocent children.

In any case, I'm so thankful to have avoided the scandal Maddie could've caused had she succeeded in her endeavors. Is it possible that she might have been kicked out of Sunday School? I'm not quite sure what sort of punishment one gets for bringing an s.e.x. book to the Kindergarten/First grade class. I hope to never find out, either. You can be sure that I'LL be patting her down before we get in the car each week!

Drama Queen Turns 7!

2008-02-07T10:01:00.000-05:00

Seven years ago today, Maddie entered this universe with a "take over the world" mentality, an energy that outruns the energizer bunny and an "all the world's a stage and I'm in the center of it" attitude. She's still going, and we're all running to keep up with her! If I was lulled to sleep by my older two compliant children, I am wide awake now attempting to stay one step ahead of this spunky, life of the party last born.

Maddie was born in Silverdale, Washington, although we wisked her out of there to Indiana when she was 5 weeks old. So, basically, she's a true red-necked Hoosier girl! Although, we're teachin' her to talk right proper English! No offense to our former neighbors who "growed up" here in Indiana! (Not jokin' about that one either.)

(Maddie...days old!)

It's amazing to me that Maddie is now the same age that Alix was (7) when she was born. Nick was 10, and both kids were ecstatic to be at the hospital when Maddie arrived. Since I had an emergency C-section, they couldn't be in the room, but as you can see...they loved her from the beginning and spoiled her with attention nonstop. Perhaps that's why she believes the world revolves around her!

Madisen Jolynn, unlike big sister Alix, could play dolls and Barbies for hours. The Barbies would always get married or have boyfriends; the dolls were her children and seemed to always have a babysitter watching them so mommy could go to meetings. Don't know why the mommy was always going to meetings! Almost every single night for years, she would marry her daddy after he arrived home from work. After donning her Cinderella dress, Maddie and Tony would march downstairs for the wedding ceremony, get hitched and come back up the stairs as my mom! It was all a little like Freaky Friday every night.

(Maddie...1 1/2 years)

This strong-willed, "knows what she wants" girl has thrown her fits, but she also lives life to the fullest...full of affection, fun and mega-energy. I'd love to bottle that energy up and drink it, so I could make it through the afternoon sleepies! Maddie's sensitivity to God and pleasing Him gives me so much joy. Even when she gets into trouble, which happens quite often, and loses self-control, which is a huge issue, she is quick to ask for forgiveness before we "officially" discuss her poor behavior. It never fails to happen that while we are seriously engaged in a discussion that she begins cracking jokes and attempting to be funny. Her philosophy must be "life's too short to be serious".

(Maddie at Grandpa and Grandma Weston's house...summer 2007)

Maddie started gymnastics when she was 4 1/2, largely influenced by her big sister, and loves to compete. She doesn't really understand much about the scoring of the sport, so currently her goal is to have fun chatting with the other gymnasts while waiting her turn! At one of her first meets, she was in the bathroom between events and said in front of all the girls present, "Mom, I think I'm going to get 1st place all-around!" Nothing like a little humility. It would've been nice to be an invisible mom at that point! Perhaps she thought if she was the first to claim it, the place was hers.

(Maddie competing on floor, January 2008)

I heard Maddie's teacher say one day as I was helping in her class, "Maddie, that's enough drama!" Yes, THE drama queen resides at my house...singing, acting and loudly misbehaving. One night I actually banned her from talking during dinner because Tony and I could not have a conversation without her interjecting something or talking loudly to herself. Her attempts to distract and annoy were foiled. A few times she tried making some small squeaks, but mean mommy gave her the look! And, I threatened her with not being able to come with me to watch Alix cheer, and that was the final ticket. Her life is socializing, flitting about, talking with anyone who will give her the time of day. Not go to the basketball game where there might be friends to hang out with? She didn't dare lose that opportunity!

(The 7-year-old Birthday Girl)

Celebrating Maddie's birthday has been a true feat this year. While I won't go into the nitty gritty of our schedule, I will relate that there was not one single night we could find near her big day that all 5 of us could be together. Between sports and other outside activities, we worked out a party in stages. Yesterday, schools were closed for a staff work day, so we planned a birthday lunch at Applebee's. The night before, Tony remembered that he had a big luncheon to attend in which he sponsored a table. Thus, he bagged out on us, and the 3 kids and I partied alone. That evening, we allowed Maddie to open her presents with a different set of four people present. Today, after I took cookies and juice to her 1st grade classroom, Maddie opened grandma and grandpa's presents with another combination of four. And, on the evening of her birthday? Well, it's just Maddie and me. The others had people to see and places to be. In a little bit, I'll put together a gourmet birthday meal of macaroni and cheese or hot dogs, whichever nutritious meal Maddie chooses.

(Maddie and her special request 'ice cream cake')

Two birthday traditions we established long ago were the birthday person gets to choose the restaurant in which they would like to eat and the type of cake they desire. Our family is not a huge fan of the traditional cake. Typically, we all eat one piece and the rest of the cake rots. We are avid fans of ice cream around here. Most nights, a bowl of Moose Tracks or Cookie Dough or Cookies and Cream or any other chocolately concoction is consumed by all...except for Tony, who is boring and enjoys plain old Vanilla Bean. Occasionally, I've purchased an ice cream cake for birthdays, which pretty much ensures complete consumption by everyone. This year, however, I created my own delectable ice cream cake dessert. I'm certainly not counting, but I believe Nick had three helpings. The recipe is listed below in case you'd like to try it for your own celebrations!

Easy Celebration Ice Cream Cake

24 Oreo Chocolate Sandwich Cookies

1 pt. strawberry ice cream, softened

2 c. thawed Cool Whip Whipped Topping, divided

1 pt. chocolate ice cream, softened

2 T. chocolate fudge sauce

Line 9-inch round cake pan with plastic wrap. Place 14 whole cookies around edge of pan Crush remaining cookies; place crumbs on bottom of pan, reserving 1/2 cup. Spread strawberry ice cream over crumbs; top with 1 cup of the whipped topping and remaining crumbs. Top with chocolate ice cream.

Freeze 4 hours or overnight. Remove from pan by lifting plastic wrap; carefully peel off plastic wrap. Let stand 10 minutes. Top with remaining 1 cup whipped topping and drizzle with chocolate sauce. Makes 14 servings.

Though this momentous golden birthday...7 on the 7th...is almost over, the years of celebrating Maddie will continue. We may have our days (and sometimes weeks on end) of challenge with this headstrong child, but I would not trade one of them for a million compliant children. First of all, I'd be insane with a million kids no matter how obedient. Secondly, the spark that Maddie brings to any situation, the humor that pours forth from her lips, the humongous arms-and-legs-wrapping hugs, the sweet and honest prayers to her Savior outweigh any spontaneous thoughts of boarding school. I believe we're going to keep her!

Happy birthday to God's marvelous, magnificent, masterpiece...Maddie.

All About the Birds and the Bees

2008-02-06T16:44:00.000-05:00

Recently, I begin reading to Maddie the book Where Do Babies Come From?, which is one book from the new Learning About Sex series. Each Christian-based book is geared towards different ages. This particular book is for 6-8 year-olds. Maddie saw a picture of a pregnant mommy which showed the baby inside of her and displayed the area where the baby comes out. I watched her face grow more and more confused as she compared the size of the baby's head with the size of the birth canal. Finally, she blurted out, "Uh, Mom, that baby's head is too big to come out there!" I then had to explain that it does get bigger when it's time for the baby to be born.

Me: But, that's not how you were born, Maddie. I had a C-section with you.

Maddie: What's a C-section?

Me: That's when you have a surgery and the doctor takes the baby out. I didn't have a C-section with Nick and Alix.

Maddie: I know...they came out the pipe!

Hmm...I guess in the book, it DOES sort of look like a pipe. We may need to have a few more discussions about this topic, I'm thinking. Just as long as she doesn't go to school and start telling her friends about the "pipe", we'll be ok.

Love Deeply

2008-01-31T18:56:00.000-05:00

I am cheating today and posting an article I wrote for our women's newsletter entitled Divine Lines. This is written by several women in our church and published every other month. You can access the entire newsletter at SOCC.

Love Deeply

I was standing in Kohl’s waiting an eon for Maddie to choose a toy with the gift card she had received for Christmas when my cell phone beeped. Opening it, I noticed that my mom had sent me a text message. After 20 minutes, I sent her one back. Yep, that’s how long it took me to figure out that texting thing. I am a completely anti-techy woman from the electronic typewriter age. Frankly, it astounded me that my mom actually knew how to do this. Turns out, she had a couple of teenagers coaching her through the process. Suffice it to say, when my mom texted me back, I ignored the message. It would’ve been quicker for me to call her.

We live in a fast-paced society, and we have created devices in our world that compliment that lifestyle. I don’t have to physically talk to anyone in order to have a relationship with them, however shallow it is. In order to save time, I can email or text. I can get a Facebook or My Space account to maintain contact with friends all around the world. Because of cell phones, we are accessible 24 hours a day, seven days a week. We carry all sorts of contacts in our phone lists and email lists, yet how many of those are close relationships? We are in such a hurry most of the time that we are only making surface connections with people. I wonder how many people are truly longing for a good friend, someone who will take the time to build a deeper relationship.

In a Beth Moore study I took recently, she stated in one of her videos that we have ceased to practice deep relationships. It’s true. We are more reachable than ever before, yet we are also lonelier. How can that be with all the noise that surrounds us? Peter challenges us in 1 Peter 4:8, “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” Our culture teaches us to love superficially and to work toward self-reliance; however, the Bible clearly contradicts this idea.

The word “love” in this verse is that of the love of Christians toward other Christians. We are to show affection and goodwill towards our fellow believers. Beth Moore says that we need to learn to fight for each other instead of with each other. Too often we backbite, gossip and tear down instead of building each other up. We need to have unity in the midst of our diversity.

“Deeply” or the word “fervent”, as it is used in the King James Version, means strained or stretched. Picture an athlete reaching for the finish line or goal line, stretching out across it. Our love for one another is to be demonstrated intently, earnestly. Emails and texts can’t quite capture this kind of love. This takes time and effort, being intentional. This kind of love goes the distance; it stands the test of time; it gets into the ugly stuff.

What ugly stuff? Our sin, of course! Love “covers” (hides) over a “multitude” (a great number, bundle) of “sins” (that which is done wrong, offences). When I love fervently, I will forgive offenses against me rather than intensify them and gossip about them. I will error on the side of mercy rather than hold grudges. I will cover over and conceal the sins of others rather than spread them to the masses. I love Beth Moore’s statement that we must grace others because we ourselves have been graced. When we don’t love deeply; when we keep track of what others have done to us; when we fight with our fellow believers, the enemy is outwitting us. It’s his mission to sidetrack us in our desire to reflect Christ’s love to those around us in meaningful ways. We need to wise up to Satan’s schemes and foil his attempts at successfully sidetracking us by doing some tangible things to intentionally love those around us.

First, if you have many acquaintances but no close friends, think of someone with whom you would like to connect more deeply. Plan a time to meet with them over coffee or lunch. Several years ago I invited a woman over to my house for lunch to get to know her better, and now I can’t imagine not having her friendship in my life. We have become great friends and purposefully arrange time together on a regular basis.

Another way to begin to reflect His love more deeply is by becoming an encourager. We never know how or when our words will bring life to someone who is down or discouraged. Too often we concentrate on the negative, especially within our own families, instead of looking for the positive. I want to be a glass half full (or maybe even spilling over) kind of girl, the kind of person others gravitate to because of my kind words. Let’s overlook everyone’s multitude of faults and idiosyncrasies and look for the good instead. Perhaps, as we do this, they’ll choose not to see all our wrongs! Infuse someone with courage in the words that you speak over their life. Our words have the power to bring life or death to someone. Be a life-giver!

Also, be a note-giver! Every once in awhile I come across a card I’ve saved from a friend or my husband, and it brings a smile to my face once again. These notes remind me of how special they think I am, how valuable our friendship is; how much they love me. When I was dating my husband, I sent cards to him several times a week since we lived an hour and a half away from each other. They were full of loving words and encouragement. How often have I written these notes after we were married? Embarrassingly, I’ve composed some loving thoughts only a couple of times a year at special occasions. It’s not because I don’t believe he needs them anymore; mostly, it’s sheer laziness. As Beth Moore says, “I think notes constantly.” I could open my own Hallmark store with all the cards I have stockpiled to send to friends and to give to my husband. Unfortunately, they aren’t quite as effective sitting lonely in a drawer. My challenge to you and me is to spend a few minutes writing a special note to a friend, family member or your spouse expressing your love to them. Your words could have a huge impact on them and quite possibly arrive at a God-appointed time in their lives.

In a world that loves superficially and promotes self-reliance, let’s be different. Let’s love deeply, be grace-givers and bring life to those around us.

The Ongoing School Saga

2008-01-28T22:24:00.001-05:00

Upon driving Maddie to school this morning, we had our usual conversation.

Maddie: "I don't want to go to school. Why can't I be homeschooled like Ashley? I don't want to do math."

Me: "Ashley still has to do math at home. She has to do all the same work that you have to do at school."

Maddie: "Well, I don't want to go."

Me: "Remember when you were a little girl, and you watched Nick and Alix go off to school every day? You couldn't wait to go to school."

Maddie: "Well, life changes."

It sure does, doesn't it? Someone please explain to me how she and I are going to get through the next 11 years of school.

Greetings from Guatemala

2008-01-25T19:01:00.000-05:00

In a previous blog, I mentioned that my husband and 16-year-old son were just returning from a mission's trip to Guatemala, and at some point, I would blog about that. Instead, you are in for an extra special treat. Tony and I had asked Nick to write a letter to his supporters thanking them again for the money they donated as well as relating to them the experiences he had. He went above and beyond in his letter, and I would like to share it with you. It truly touched my heart to see the impact this trip had on his life. Enjoy!

January 23, 2008

Hey guys,

Sorry this is late. I have had a hectic couple of weeks after the trip to Guatemala. I was sick with pneumonia last week, and now this week I am paying the price in mounds of homework. So, finally I have a breath of fresh air to do something other than school. Again, I am very grateful for all of your support. Without you guys, I wouldn’t have been able to have had the great experience in Guatemala.

As you may or may not know Guatemala has a rugged terrain; it was very green with active volcanoes everywhere we looked. We saw many fields of corn and other plants. Most of the time, these fields were on slopes or on the side of the volcanoes. Travel around these mountains was tough and took twice as long as it would in a non mountainous area. The house, Agua Viva, we stayed in was elevated over 7,000 feet above sea level. So, as you could imagine we had a little less stamina then normal.

Agua Viva is a home for children that are not necessarily orphans. Most of the kids had been either court ordered, or sent there by a parent or neighbor. The children there are very kind and loving. One would never know that they had been in difficult situations at all. The kids are very patient. Even though I have almost 4 years of Spanish under my belt, I still struggled with the language. They would wait for me to figure it out, or they would try to say other words that I could maybe recognize. So, I was able to understand the week through bits and pieces.

(Women selling their wares in the marketplace)

The home was divided into 5 houses. The houses are from littlest to largest Casa Samuel, Casa Ruth, Casa David, Casa Ester and Casa Josue. The house I got to know the most was Casa Josue. The Casa Josue ages ranged from about 10-18. We played jokes at breakfast, lunch and dinner; we played “futbol,” or soccer and basketball; and we painted trees and classrooms and just hung out. These boys, just like in the rest of the houses, were very obedient and helpful. Every time we went to do some work, there were some of these boys asking if they could help. Even when we weren’t working, they would ask if we were going to later on in the day.

(Nick is the non-guatemalan looking guy)

On this trip many strange things occurred that veteran group members said that they had never experienced there before. The first thing that happened was that one of our group leaders got food poisoning on the way to Guatemala. When we arrived, she was hospitalized at one of the hospitals and ended up coming back that night. Also, on one of the trips outside of the home we experienced a power outage. It wasn’t noticeable because it was daytime and very bright outside. When we got back to the Agua Viva there was no power there either! We had dinner by candle light and had to use flashlights for about an hour until the power came back on. Another strange occurrence happened on the last night we were in Guatemala. At our going away ceremony there was an earthquake right in the middle of the program. All the kids were unfazed because they were used to them. Last, but not least was the weather. While we were there, the group members who had been to Guatemala before had never experienced such cold temperatures. Most of us were not packed sufficiently, so we had to make due on one pair of pants and a light jacket. Overall these odd happenings made for an interesting week.

(Nick in the church service)

One of the best experiences I had in Guatemala was playing soccer with the kids. It was fun to try to watch them handle the ball and score, except when I was goalie. They play every day, and a couple of us were lucky enough to join in on two of these games. They were fun, and the kids laughed at us a lot but we had a great time anyway. The games we played were like close football games. I bet that many of them could come here to high schools in America and dominate.

I took away many things from this trip. One thing that really stuck out to me was the patience that they had. There were no clocks there so you couldn’t tell time, unless you brought a watch. They never seemed rushed to do anything. I found myself trying to find out the time countless times. We just seem like a really fast paced society here in America. When I was in Guatemala, I didn’t worry about tomorrow. All I cared about was what I was doing in that moment. In Matthew 6:34 Jesus says, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” I think that we all could apply this to our lives. We don’t need to worry and stress out about tomorrow; we just need to think about today.

Thank you again for all of your support. I hope you were able to catch a glimpse of what I experienced on this trip. It was fantastic, and I hope to go back again. I am sorry for the lateness of this letter. Thank you!

Sincerely,

Nick Carlsberg

I am so proud of this maturing young man. I pray that God does amazing and mighty things in and through his life as he follows after Him. You know, there are moments when we wonder if our children are "getting it"...that the most satisfying and complete life is only through Jesus Christ. We so desire for our kids to mature and grow in Him, for them to hear our words and model after us (most of the time, that is)! Many times we think all that we are attempting to teach them is going in one ear and out the other. Then we have these glimpses, these snapshots they show us...it's enough to make a momma cry!

She's a Sneaky, Little Girl

2008-01-22T10:37:00.000-05:00

This morning while encouraging Maddie to choose which nutritious breakfast item to eat, a Hot Fudge Sundae poptart or Cookie Crisp cereal, we had an interesting conversation.

Me: Ok, Maddie, what do you want to eat? We need to get moving a little more quickly here, so we are on time for the bus.

Maddie: I don't want to go to school.

Me: Too bad. You have to go anyway.

Maddie: No, I'll just pretend to be sick.

Where does she come up with these things? No one in our family has ever "pretended" to be sick to get out of school. Besides, we have these rules in our home which often cures thoughts of playing hooky. First, if you actually are sick, you are incapable of watching television and must either lay in agony on your bed or on the couch. Second, if you are truly sick, you don't even desire to do anything else but sleep or vomit. I've learned these things from having an extremely cruel mother who knew about children like me who might actually attempt to get away with such "sick" trickery. And, Maddie? She doesn't have a chance of playing sick with the genes I've inherited. Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to school she goes...

A Little Latte Language

2008-01-20T18:58:00.000-05:00

Any Starbuck's mocha or latte lovers out there? Apparently, the type of coffee you order can determine the kind of personality you have. Mochawithlinda clued me in on this fabulous quiz. After you take it, let me know what your coffee order reveals about you!

What Your Latte Says About You

You don't treat yourself very often. You find that indulging doesn't jibe with your very disciplined life.
You can be quite silly at times, but you know when to buckle down and be serious.
You have a good deal of energy, but you pace yourself. You never burn out too fast.
You're addicted to caffeine. There's no denying it.
You are responsible, mature, and truly an adult. You're occasionally playful, but you find it hard to be carefree.
You are honest and genuine, but you are never tactless.

What Does Your Latte Say About You?

Words to Ponder

2008-01-17T14:43:00.000-05:00

Quote from Beth Moore's Bible study, "Stepping Up."

"Don't wait! Praise God the second you don't feel like it! The second you feel defeated! "Now!" Your temptor tempts you to praise God the least when you need to praise the most. A true psalmist praises his way to victory, knowing it will come because the praise itself renders the first blow to his enemy's brow. God's faithfulness then calls for man's gratefulness."

Caught Cheating

2008-01-17T14:21:00.000-05:00

Maddie let her fingers do the tapping of the phone numbers to call her little red-head friend a couple of days ago. She could hardly stand that I forced her to finish her homework first, mean mommy that I am. "I'm going to put her on speaker phone again," she declares.

Me: "You don't really need to do that."

Maddie: "But, I'm going to."

Someone please help me. If this determined, smart-alecky, independent attitude continues, she may not survive to see the dawning of her 16th birthday. I wonder if she'll be so adamant about her speaker phone conversation when she's a teenager. Somehow, I doubt it!

While Maddie is conversing, my ears perk up. "My mom banished me from doing my homework on the bus."

Little red-head friend: "Why?"

Maddie: "Because Connor was helping me with my homework, and he gave me all the answers."

At least she's not afraid to be honest. Yes, she came home one day from school with her homework already completed. Unusual...not like my Maddie at all. She proudly tells me that she did her homework on the bus, and she doesn't have to worry about doing it now. Red flags waved wildly in my face. "So," I ask, "Did someone help you?" I'm immediately thinking of her 6th grade friend, Hannah. "Yes, Connor helped me." Hmmmm....Connor is a 1st grader too. But, I'm seriously doubting that Maddie could figure these math answers out all by her lonesome. "Did he tell you the answers, Maddie?" Sheepishly, she softly responds, "Yes."

Yep, my daughter was guilty of cheating. Thus, she was most emphatically "banned" from doing any homework on the bus. Her punishment? I erased all the answers and made her re-do the paper. Then, I had to assist her with her homework! I believe she's learned her lesson.

Magpie Maddie Displays Signs of Airy Disorder

2008-01-15T14:25:00.001-05:00

Just last night this airhead disease cropped up in our soon to be 7-year-old girl. I'm not sure if it will be a full-fledged illness as it is with her older blond sister. For now, we are taking a wait and see attitude until we've had more time to observe her actions.

While on the phone with another 1st grade friend from school, Chatty Cathy (aka Maddie) chirped nonstop. "Why are you calling me?"

"Oh, you wanted to see how I was doing?"

"You got my number from Connor?" (Those cursed boys!)

"Oh, let me put you on speaker phone!" (Gee, I don't even know how to do that.)

"My brother, Nick, showed me how to do it." (Hey Nick, how about showing your anti-techy mom?)

In between the sentences, it's a giggle, giggle here and a giggle, giggle there. Then, little 1st grade red-head friend is attempting to ask her mom to do the speaker phone thingy. Her mom is clueless too. So, little red-head friend begins to push buttons haphazardly and hangs up on Maddie. She calls right back. They have soooo much to discuss. Maddie puts her back on speaker phone so we can all participate in this lovely conversation. It's so inspiring.

I hear Maddie say to her that after they hang up, she's going to put a pencil and paper in her backpack. Apparently Maddie is going to write little red-head friend's phone number down at school the next day. "Oh, wait! I have a great idea. How about I get a pencil and write your number down now?"

Little red-head friend: "That's what I was thinking you could do!" (Excitement, giggle, giggle.)

Maddie writes the number down, repeats it back in case she made a mistake, and says, "Do you want to write my number down, too?" Silence. I comment to her and the speaker phone, "Maddie, she has your number. She called you." "Oh, yeah!" she laughs...giggle, giggle.

The blond disease has erupted. Let's hope it doesn't spread. BTW ("By the way" for those of you who aren't clued in on the new abbreviations), the rest of the conversation was a completely silly discussion about getting a "couple" (that's right, boyfriend-girlfriend) back together at recess the following day. I foresee a couple of careers for this girl...a budding matchmaker or the star of a new movie, "Legally Blonde 3".

Who's Got Your Ear?

2008-01-11T15:31:00.000-05:00

A few nights ago I asked my husband to pray over me in preparation for our first day of our Roof-Crasher's Bible study since I was a little anxious about being one of the teachers for the Sacred Marriage study. Even though I have been happily re-married now for almost 8 years, I experienced a heart-wrenching divorce 9 years ago which has caused me to doubt at times my worthiness at leading any class much less one on marriage. Let's just say, the accuser assails negative thoughts my direction like..."what do you have to offer...you couldn't even stay married", and "people will not listen to what you have to say because of your track record" and "how can a divorced woman teach a marriage class?"

Now I know that God is not saying that I am worthless, useless and have nothing to offer. I realize that He has made beauty from the ashes of my life, and that He can use my brokenness to help someone else. But, Satan doesn't want ME to get it. He will do anything to get believers to disbelieve Christ's redeeming work in our lives and basically, to quit! Because I had these nagging thoughts plaguing me, I asked Tony to pray for me. He did and as we began to talk after his prayer, I started sharing my fears again. Basically, he shushed me, "Annette, we prayed about it. It's taken care of. God will be with you. Those thoughts are not true." I was speechless at his uncharacteristic bluntness, which if you know me, happens once in a blue moon. His words shut me up which stopped the negativity from flowing.

The following morning I was up earlier than normal to spend some time praying for the women that would come, for our leaders and for me, of course. Then, I asked God to speak to me and when I opened my One Year Bible to read the day before's portion since I was already a day behind, guess what? God spoke to me clearly through these verses in Proverbs:

"My child, never forget the things I have taught you. Store my commands in your heart. If you do this, you will live many years, and your life will be satisfying. Never let loyalty and kindness leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. Then you will find favor with both God and people and you will earn a good reputation. Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take."

The last two sentences in this portion, Proverbs 3:5-6, were the verses I clung to while going through my divorce, becoming a single parent and learning to trust God through all my uncertain days ahead. I already thought I had this trust thing down because of all I had experienced in the past. God was reminding me again...trust ME with ALL your heart. The word "all" leaped off the page. Was I reserving part of my heart back from Him? Did I only want to trust him with certain portions? Was I not trusting Him to be with me after I had just asked Him to? Since God called me to this moment, wouldn't He fully equip me for the task?

Fear and doubt of my inadequacy to teach was replaced with a renewed trust in the complete adequacy of my Savior who redeemed my past and called me to be part of this teaching team. This was completely confirmed after each of us gave our introductions to the class. Open about my past, I shared about my previous divorce, my belief that God's plan is indeed for couples to stay married and how God beautifully and graciously allowed me a second chance at marriage with a wonderful man.

I half expected disappointed looks and maybe even a class exodus! Instead, during our small group time one woman with tears swelling talked about her own previous divorce and subsequent re-marriage. God perfectly placed her in my group for a reason, and He has once again shown me that my life, my past and my lessons learned have a purpose that He will carry out if I will simply trust Him.

No matter where you've been, what mistakes you have made, how much you've disobeyed, God can forgive you and free you to be used for His glory and fame. Even when we find ourselves experiencing suffering because of another's poor decisions, God can use our pain to bring encouragement and hope to those we encounter. It's a matter of listening to and trusting in the One who ransoms our pasts for our freedom...and shutting up old slewfoot who dredges up our pasts for our destruction. Who will you bend your ear to?

The Boys are Back in Town (well, almost)

2008-01-05T22:01:00.001-05:00

Tonight is THE night...the night when my boys get back in town. Sounds almost like a song, doesn't it? We three girls have been livin' it up...stayin' up late, gettin' up late and eating all microwavable food. It's been great for the last 8 days, but I'm ready for my man to get back.

It'll be nice to get back to two sleeping in a king-size bed. I know that a couple of blogs ago I said that I was NOT sleeping with both of my girls in that bed anymore, but you know, I'm really a softie and couldn't bear the thought of one of them sleeping clear at the other end of the house. Let me tell you, it can be a long, scary walk in the middle of the night if you need momma. Alas, I caved in, and we've been sleeping together all week ~ except for the night Alix had 3 of her friends spend the night and slept downstairs. I use the word "sleep" loosely since they finally crashed at 4 am.

Still, even after we painted Alix' room and redecorated, that 13-year-old girl wanted to hang out in mom's room. Since I'm not sure how long that will last, I welcome every opportunity to have her sleep in my bed with me. Whatever her reasons, not wanting to be the lone person snoozing at the other side of the house or her bed still piled high with knick knacks to be sorted, I don't care! She still wants to be with me! And, Maddie? Well, she's practically glued to me, so I don't think I could pry her away.

It's the end of the all girl party and back to the co-ed family that we are. It's also back to school, schedules and arising at 6:30 am (oh, joy)! It's back to cooking real food that is actually healthy. While I am not excited about any of that stuff, I am elated to see my hubby and son. I know they have much to relate regarding their adventure in Guatemala. They've taken zillions of pictures of children which I plan to share in one of my blogs.

We girls have had an important role in their trip south...we've been praying. Every night we've prayed that they would have an impact there, that they would connect with these children, that their hearts would be moved, that God would speak specifically to their hearts what He wants them to know, that they would be changed. So, I can hardly wait to hear what God has done in their lives and the lives of those Guatemalans because of Tony's and Nick's sacrifice to go to a place out of their comfort zones.

Until then...I must post this excerpt and get my children movin' in the direction of their OWN beds tonight. Night, night!

Got Any Friends?

2008-01-04T13:47:00.000-05:00

According to Webster, a friend is "a person whom one knows well and is fond of; intimate associate; close acquaintance...a person on the same side in a struggle; one who is not an enemy or foe; ally...a supporter or sympathizer."

I just finished typing that definition and had a thought that came out of nowhere in my blond brain. Who is Webster anyway? Why is his name on my dictionary, and yet, he's not listed as the author? In fact, I can't find his name anywhere. If you happen to know, please enlighten me.

Back to the topic at hand: friends! I love them, don't you? They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and internal variety. What is so fantabulous about this friend thing is that they don't have to be exactly like me to "like" me and for us to hit it off. I have a lot of different friends, on varying levels. I don't mean different in the sense that they are peculiar (although some come awfully close), but rather that we are diverse in character.

For example, I have a friend who calls herself a democrat (gasp), and I really, really like being with her. We don't have to agree on the same things to be friends. On the important things, like being a follower of Jesus, we do concur. We also enjoy being work out buddies when our schedules allow. With another great friend, I enjoy shopping, coffee and a lot of good-natured teasing. I have several friends that love "doing" lunch together. Many of us work together in our Roof-Crasher Bible Study, loving women to Jesus and encouraging them to go deeper in the Word. A couple of other friends have encouraged me in my leadership capabilities, seeing gifts in me that God could use. Still others laugh with me and cry with me. They've seen some of my uglies (like me without make-up) and continue to love me in spite of it. And, though they've never had the opportunity to bring me meals, I still love them.

Oddly as it sounds, I have another winsome friend who is meeting "bloggy" friends in another state for a little get away. Some are calling her crazy, and while she is that, I call her adventurous. And truth be told, I'm a tad jealous at her getting the opportunity to meet new friends because I'm convinced one can never have enough friends. Why it's just more occasions for lunches and laughing, for tears and triumphs, for shopping and sharing, for encouraging words spoken into our lives and excitement over our kids and husbands, for coffee and complaining about our kids and husbands! And, we can do all of it at the same time. That's what is so outrageous about girlfriends.

I have other friends that live in a far away state called Washington; pals which I only catch up with once a year when I visit my family. They are still close to me, near and dear to my heart even though our communication is limited. These are the ones who go through the mud with you. They've been there when tragedy hits; when the bottom drops out of your world. There are not enough words to convey what these bosom allies mean to someone like me, a person on the verge of breakdown, in a state of confusion, barely able to life my head up. Some of you have experienced this kind of friendship, the type the unites you together because of calamity.

These 5 friends carried me through one of the roughest eons (seems like it was) of my life. While my life as I knew it was falling apart, they held pity parties with me, became angry with me, cried tears with me, laughed with me and prayed with me. They, like the friends that carried their paralyzed mate to Jesus for healing, brought me on my stinky, smelly "divorce" mat to Jesus so that he could heal my wounds and my scars. While they, my compassionate friends, could not heal nor ease my pain, they knew the One who can heal all manners of sicknesses and diseases, the One who can bind up the broken hearted. While my sweet, caring buddies loved and cared for me in so many ways, they couldn't go home with me to a lonely house at night nor could they be at my beck and call whenever I felt depressed or sad. However, I do have a Friend who never slumbers nor sleeps; His presence is always with me. And, let me tell you, that when my life turned upside down, I became tight with this Friend.

I learned to trust like never before, to hang on like never before, to believe like never before. For a long time, He was my only confidante; you know, before everyone in the whole world knew all my dirty laundry. I clung to Christ like a magnet to the refrigerator. I had nothing and no one else. He became my Everything. During these two years, I learned that I could trust Him with absolutely everything...my kids, my present, my future. It's an interesting thing what these tornadoes out'ta nowhere can do to your life, IF you allow them to. WHEN you take them to Jesus, He can make something beautiful out of it. As I recently read in Lysa Terkeurst's blog, if the seed doesn't come out of it's nice little, safe packet to be placed into the ground and watered, it will never grow into what it was designed to be. So, when life happens to you, and it will, let God have his way, as with the potter and clay, so He can break and re-mold you into something beautiful He can use. One of the greatest lessons I learned about this most wonderful Friend is that He always wants the best for me. When life just doesn't seem fair and I don't understand why God might be allowing something to happen, I recall that no matter how things ultimately turn out, I can trust Him because He knows the big picture and knows better than I do what is good and perfect for me.

So, I love my God, my Friend much, much more than ever. Yet, I am completely convinced that God blesses me with girlfriends with whom I can share and do life with and more importantly, to encourage them to bring everything...their sorrows, their pain, their joys...to the One who is waiting for them, "able to do immeasurably more then all they can ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within them" (Eph. 3:20).

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! Ecclesiastes 4:9,10

Boys Away...Girls Par-Tay!

2007-12-31T10:36:00.000-05:00

You know that phrase, "While the cat's away, the mice will play?" We girls ain't exactly playin' just yet. Tony and Nick flew to Guatemala earlier than normal people crack their eyes open on Friday. Their mission: to serve in a children's home playing with children and completing other projects as needed. Our mission while the boys are on such a self-sacrificing trip: to par-tay and have girl fun which of course includes shopping!

Unfortunately, we haven't fulfilled our mission just yet because we have embarked on a painting project in Alix' bedroom and bathroom. My aching muscles are telling me to stop, but there are more walls screaming for color. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now, however. The hot pink walls have been replaced with a nice soft medium blue faux look, and all that remains is slapping yellow on the bathroom walls. I'll let Alix transform her trashed bedroom back into some semblance of order.

Meanwhile, for Maddie, Daddy away means..."sleepover" with mommy. Not a problem with a king-size bed usually. I typically like have the girls take turns spending the night with me, but last night, I was a softie. Alix' bed is covered with various wall decor, stuffed animals and other girly items and thus, completely uninhabitable. And, poor Maddie, who lost her 3rd tooth last night, looked so pitiful and was just begging to have a ginormous sleepover in the big king-size bed. So, I caved, and we all snuggled into the big bed. Maddie rattled on about the tooth fairy and how the tooth fairy knows Jesus just like Santa does and therefore, would be able to find her in my bed instead of her own bed, etc, etc. She placed her tooth underneath the pillow in the middle. I had stashed a dollar on the side table next to me in preparation for the sneaky trade at midnight. (I have forgotten to replace the tooth with a dollar before and have had to do some quick thinking and perhaps even a little truth-stretching. Thus, enter the morning tooth fairy.)

Truth fairy aside, a king-size bed is NOT a comfortable spot for three girls...one who snores (Alix), one who riggles and suffocates her mom (Maddie), and one who is hugging the edge of the bed with no where else to go (me)! From this point forward, only one child at a time will enjoy a sleepover with mom because we all know that mom's need their beauty sleep.

Today also marks the last day of painting which means that tonight the girls can being par-taying! Is it significant that it also just happens to be New Year's Eve as well? Tonight, we will bring in the new year by pigging out on good food, watching IU play in the Insight Bowl, staying up until midnight, making resolutions, and par-taying only to start our diets the next day and break our resolutions in the weeks to come. Resolution number one after painting...go shopping! See you at the mall...

Speaking of resolutions, I don't know if you are a resolution-maker, goal-setter or whatever you want to call it, but I am fickle from year to year. Last year, my goal was to reduce my cholesterol level which I did through eating a grotesque amount of beans and huge amounts of fruit and vegetables. This year, I haven't been that introspective. Must be the paint fumes getting to my brain. In fact, the only plan in place for 2008 is for our family to read the One Year Bible. Perhaps that's enough. If the 4 of us readers can daily be in the word, allowing the alive and active Word to penetrate our hearts and minds, our roots in Christ will be that much deeper and stronger by the end of the year. Yep, that's a most worthy goal indeed.

Reflective Reading

2007-12-29T20:41:00.000-05:00

I am a huge reader. In fact, I begin to get the shakes when I am nearing the end of a book and realize that I don't have one ready to go on the shelf. Not only that, but I am sad as I close the last page because my life has become intertwined and intimately involved with the characters of the story. Most of the time I read Christian fiction, choosing to check the books out at my local library, simply because my book budget isn't quite large enough to accommodate my addiction.

Lately, however, I've read several biographies that have been most interesting. Because I am a fanatical American Idol watcher, I recently read Mandisa's IdolEyes, which gave me insight not only into her path to the American Idol show but also her great faith as a follower of Jesus. A friend loaned me a biography of C.S. Lewis called Jack, which was written by his stepson. While I've read the Narnia books and several others by Lewis, I had never really read about his life and what made him the man and writer that he was. It was a fascinating story which caused me to appreciate Lewis and his writings all the more. His life was full of pain and sorrow, yet he was determined to live for God. Last but not least, I just finished the book, Mosaic, by Amy Grant which totally enraptured me.

I grew up on Amy Grant's music. I hadn't realized until reading her book that she began singing and song writing at a young age and thus, while I was listening to her as a teen, she was only about 3 years older than I. I have followed her music all my young life, purchasing every tape/CD she has cut so far. Although I knew about her divorce from Gary Chapman, I hadn't realized until reading her story how her life has paralleled mine...except for the singing of course! About the same time she was experiencing her separation and divorce, I was going through mine. And, her second chance at love with Vince Gill occurred during the same time frame as my remarriage to Tony. I connected with her on many levels because of our similar circumstances.

Mosaics is extremely thought-provoking. Amy doesn't claim to have her life all together and admits her failings. She is also not an ex-basher, nor does she air any of her previous marriage's dirty laundry. In fact, she doesn't go into any specifics about why it ended. I appreciate that she talks openly about it, yet not with details. It's certainly a lesson to me about transparency without the dirty details!

In one chapter of her book, Amy discusses her shortcomings in regard to a consistent quiet time with God, yet she shares some specifics on how she greets the day by going outside each morning and emphasizing different words in the phrase, "This is the day the Lord has made." After this "wake-up call", she says the Lord's Prayer. This was so poignant to me that I am including it in my blog, so here it is. I pray this means as much to you as it has to me.

"Our Father who art in heaven."
Our Father. All of us, everyone who's ever lived or died ~ we share him. We are his. Whether we are lovable or unlovable, whether we agree or disagree, saint or reprobate ~ all of us have the same Father, our Father who art in heaven.
"Hallowed be thy name."
Holy. Set apart. The Great Other. I can't even say "Hallowed be thy name" without thinking of all the times in the course of a day when I inadvertently say, "Oh my God." This is my time to say, "I'm sorry for throwing your name around."
"Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done."
What do I know about God's kingdom? The first shall be last, the greatest is the servant of all. Whoever loses his life for Jesus' sake will find it. This all seems upside down to me. Here my prayer becomes, "Help me see my world the way you do, to look at the heart and not the exterior."
"Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."
I can assume that at any given moment what's happening in heaven is exactly what God wants to be happening. But here on earth, with all of us roaming around with our loads of free will, we have the option of saying either, "I think today I'll just be about what I want to do," or, "Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done." It makes me take a deep breath and consider my to-do list, the things that I find important, the ways that I plan to invest myself.
By myself, all I have is my own knowledge, my own experience, my own vantage point. How narrow. If I am on an eternal time line with things of eternal significance happening all around me, why would I want to be confined by my limited perspective? How much better to speak these words: "Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Let me be a part of your plan. I'd rather not be limited to just my own."
"Give us this day our daily bread."
My daily bread. Whatever I need this day. God sees it better than I can. Maybe my daily bread includes rest, maybe peace, patience, direction, creativity, work, wisdom. Even more, he can see what I don't need, the things I wander after; the things that swallow up the hours and leave me empty. "Whatever you know that I need today, I'm asking for it."
"Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors."
This sounds like a black-and-white equation. Forgive me the way I forgive. Yikes. Is Jesus teaching me a lesson even in the prayer he taught me to pray?
What do I feel I'm owed? Where have I invested myself with no return? From whom do I honestly believe that I deserve an apology or a thank you? What tally sheet am I hanging on to? Can I react to any expectation ~ anything that I think I'm owed ~ with the same ocean of mercy that's been poured over me? I need grace to see the entire debt that I have been forgiven, so that I can extend that same mercy to someone else. Burn the tally sheet. Mercy doesn't keep score. "I forgive my debtors. Thank you for forgiving me."
"And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
I don't understand the mystery of how God works, but I pray how Jesus told me to. "Lead us not into temptation. Don't take me somewhere that's dangerous for me. Don't give me what I'm asking for if I can't handle it."
"Deliver us from evil."
I think about a baby being delivered ~ pushing and shoving and womb walls squeezing in. Then it is delivered into the hands of a waiting family. Is that how we are delivered from evil? Am I coming through this world pushed in on every side, and it's messy and crazy and sometimes looks as much like death as life? "Deliver us from evil. Find us safe passage. See me safely through."
"For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever."
All of this is God's. It's his to rule. He alone is capable of finishing this thing he started. "God, you deserve endless gratitude and celebration from all your creation. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."
Amen."

Woven throughout thoughts like this are poetry and songs Amy has written. Full of stories from her childhood and adult life, this book gives the reader just a glimpse into her life so far. While her reminiscences are an entertaining read, she also relates to the reader in a way that is real. Need something to read that will cause you to reflect? You won't be disappointed if you stay up late reading Mosaics!

A Little Anecdote or Two

2007-12-28T14:03:00.000-05:00

Anecdote 1
A couple of weeks ago I noticed a towel placed underneath our silk ficus tree. "What's that towel doing under the silk tree, Tony?" "Oh, Maddie tried to water it."

Anecdote 2
Maddie came home from school on the last Friday before Christmas break, saw me vacuuming her room and asked me to turn it off because she had something exciting to tell me. I, not wanting to break my cleaning rhythm, asked her to tell me with the vacuum running. "Look what I got!" she said showing me a tube of mini M&M's. "I won all the tests today!" It seems she's confused between taking tests and "earning" a good grade and "winning" something.

Anecdote 3
Tony and I were ordering food at a deli in town when he asked about the soups. He settled on the Chicken Tortilla soup, then promptly asked the server if it contained any meat. I looked at Tony, saying, "Yeah, it has 'chicken' in it." I guess it had been a stressful day for him, and it was too much for him to grasp. I'm wondering if he's been coloring his hair dark to cover up the blonde. I'm so glad that I have someone I can relate to in my family besides my daughter, Alix.

It Doesn't Feel Like Christmas, Day 5

2007-12-28T13:11:00.000-05:00

Similar to a trilogy, this is the third and final excerpt in my thrilling Christmas saga. I'm confident many tears will be shed as the last sentence of this fast-paced drama is read. Unfortunately, the ending of this story is quite anti-climactic.

Aside from saving three presents for Maddie to open on this special day, it felt nothing like Christmas. Santa came Friday night, if you recall. Nick and Alix had flown to California. With three people left behind, it was hardly worth it to have a big Christmas dinner. Sigh! I had been complaining (yes, it's true...me...complaining) to Tony early in the week that I WAS NOT looking forward to Christmas Day. It's just not the same without my entire family here. It's way too quiet, even with my loudest child still at home.

So, we slept late; we ate cold cereal for breakfast; we made the traditional Christmas morning hot cocoa. That was about the only tradition we kept. After Maddie opened her last gifts, we did something we never have done before but might become a new tradition every other year when the older kids are away on Christmas. We traipsed out on an unusually warm day in December for Indiana to a movie, Alvin and the Chipmunks. I never realized how many people actually go to movies on Christmas Day. It was a great way to get over my pity party.

It would've been an even more perfect ending to Christmas if a restaurant would've been open to feed us after the movie, but alas, not a car was parked nor a light on at any establishment we drove by. It was home to leftover ham for us...again.

The grand finale to our night was our Wii bowling tournament. Maddie tried to coax us into playing Barbie's with her, but we absolutely and most adamantly refused. She compromised by putting on a fashion show with her Barbie's modelling their new clothes. She bowled in between outfits and actually placed 2nd in our tournament. Guess who was the big loser?

So, Christmas felt like any other normal day in our lives with all the excitement of the season happening days before. But, you know what? Although it was different from what I desired it to be, it was a good day nevertheless. It was definitely more quiet than what I'm currently blogging to...Alix and Maddie performing karaoke to High School Musical 2! Oh, for some peace and quiet...

Christmas Fun and Festivities, Days 2,3,4

2007-12-27T16:44:00.000-05:00

I scanned the entryway of our home. Duffel bags of all shapes and sizes were scattered haphazardly about. Shoes from little and big folk were strewn across the area rugs. Hmmmm...Bella could sure have some fun chewing up and hiding some of these shoes. I inwardly sighed (if that is possible) as I briefly thought about the days I spent cleaning our home and the seconds it was already being trashed. Oh well.

I have this thing, this issue of my house being absolutely perfect for guests...cleaned, vacuumed, dusted...not at all like I normally live. I've realized lately that the only time I REALLY clean is when company is coming! A couple of times a year isn't so bad, is it? I hope I haven't caused some of you dust bunny freaks to go into shock, but that's the way it is around here. In fact, I probably shouldn't go into great detail about the grotesque things growing in my daughter's bathroom before I transformed it. I gently had to tell her that perhaps she should begin cleaning her bathroom a little more often. And, perhaps you can tell me why instead of throwing trash in the trashcan, Alix uses it to decorate her room?

In essence, I spruce up the house for 2 1/2 days while it takes approximately 30 seconds for total destruction to take place. Mind you, I'm really not complaining. Heavens no! I actually enjoy entertaining the Stonger family for Christmas. Cousins play nonstop for two days, open gifts for each other, and actually get along. Siblings play vicious ping pong tournaments, engage in strategic games like Blokus and Spades, and war each other in the Dirty Santa gift exchange. Besides feasting on the best food this side of Lake Monroe, we dialogue in discussions of theology, politics, and whether plastic cups with the family's names on them should be recycled for next year. I seemed to be the object of derision on that topic since I have issues with reused plasticware.

Everyone apparently finds pleasure in having a big slumber party at our house, so they all spend the night and leave some time the next day, which happened to be Christmas Eve. After a big breakfast casserole, fruit salad and homemade Christmas coffee cake, the last Wii boxing games are sparred, the final ping pong games decided and the Spades games are endured. (I say this because I was on the losing team.) For some reason, a few stragglers purposely wait until after the leftover ham lunch is served before trekking back to various points in Indiana. For me, this reduces the number of days I have left with absolutely no cooking. We may have to revisit the check-out time from the Stonger hotel for next year.

By 2:30 pm Christmas Eve day, all was calm and quiet, not a creature was stirring, not even me! In fact, I believe I was on the couch passed out from too much excitement. Either that or I fainted after viewing the disaster in the basement. Still, I picked myself up by my bootstraps and began putting the house back together while Tony and Maddie boxed, bowled and played tennis on Wii.

A perfect ending to a memorable family Christmas culminated in attending the Christmas Eve service. Amid the hustle and bustle of the past few days, cooking and cleaning, giving and receiving gifts, enjoying food and conversation, I was reminded again about the Reason for the season. The baby born at Christmas took on human skin just for me. He was the ultimate gift and for that, I am eternally blessed.

Christmas Festivities, Day 1

2007-12-26T09:38:00.000-05:00

Our Christmas celebration began Friday evening, lasting for 5 days! We enjoyed feasting at Applebee's compliments of Great Grandma's gift card. Somehow during that meal, Santa and his reindeer landed early at our house, dumping our stockings full of presents. How could he possibly know that Nick and Alix were leaving for California before dawn even breaks the next morning? He is so smart! There were even gifts in my stocking which is extremely uncharacteristic of Santa. Most years I help Santa with filling my beautiful sock because he's not quite on the ball. However, this year he surprised me! I just love my Santa baby...

Before we commenced with opening gifts, we planned to read the Christmas story in Luke 2. Maddie became a little confused as evidenced by the beginning of her version of the story, "It was the night before Christmas and all through the house..."

Nick, playing Santa, passed gifts to each person one by one until Alix took over his job, not satisfied with his organizational skills! There was a lot of oohing and ahhing over the gifts, hugs and kisses and Maddie hovering like a bee with a flower over whomever happened to have a gift she could assist them in opening. Each of us kept shooing the bee away, but it kept returning. The big gifts this year were a karaoke machine for Maddie, a digital camera for Alix and the big tamale Wii for Nick. That Nick had a Wii to open is a miracle story.

The Wii, like its cousins the XBox and Playstation, have been in such great demand that fanatics had been resorting to waiting in long lines for hours and even spending frigid nights outdoors just to "maybe" obtain one of these. Tony and I waited in one line the day after Thanksgiving at 7 am in hopes of purchasing the "Wii". I guess we should have brought our sleeping bags and spent the night! With 14 left at Gamestop and holding our place in line at number 16, we were doomed to be disappointed, yet we still waited "just in case". We tried Target, Best Buy, and Wal-Mart. I prayed a silly little prayer, "God, I know this is pretty trivial, but I also know that you care about the little things in our lives. All Nick wants is a Wii. Please help us find one." Sappy, I know. Even a little weird.

But, you are not going to believe what happened. I knew how God was going to answer this. He was going to allow me to be at the right place at the right time. As Christmas drew closer, I began to come up with other alternatives in case we didn't get one of these coveted items. We'll just wrap a picture of a "Wii" in a box, give it to Nick and tell him we'll get one after Christmas. This was plan B. I never had to carry out this plan because of how God orchestrated the next events. A friend of mine was also looking for this game. We had made a pact that if one of us ever came across two Wii's, we buy them both and settle up with each other later. Nope, that is not how we obtained our Wii! Actually, another friend, not even remotely desirous of this grand gift, was standing at the return counter at Target when another woman returned two Wii's. My friend, thinking they were just possibly games, enquired about them. When she discovered that they were in fact the official "Wii's", she asked, "Well, can I buy them?" After the clerk answered affirmatively, she purchased them, quickly toted them to her car and promptly called me, telling me what she had done.

To call me ecstatic would be an understatement. While traveling to Hobby Lobby to exchange money for the "gift", I called my husband, my mom and anyone who cared about this amazing answer to prayer. It certainly was not the way I had planned it to happen, but God always works in mysterious ways and usually not according to how I have it all worked out. God used a friend to answer my prayer.

Crybabies are Cool

2007-12-16T22:15:00.000-05:00

I am a big crybaby. Always have been. I recall moments watching Little House on the Prairie as a child when tears would begin to well up in my eyes and roll down my cheeks. I could always count on my dad crying with me. It was a big joke in my family. My dad and I were sobbers while the rest of the family remained hardened to whatever trauma was occuring on the television screen. This condition has worsened over the years because I not only have become a sympathy crier, but I now also weep at the silliest things...a school program, a gymnastics meet, even helping in my daughter's class. No trauma or pain has to be remotely involved.

This morning I cried watching my friends' children getting baptized. They were making the most important decision of their lives...meaningful moment. I teared up as the children's musical program began. All of the kids were speeding down the aisles and down the stairs to clamor up the risers as the music played. No one fell down and got hurt. No one was even singing a beautiful song, and I was dabbing at my eyes to keep the tears from seeping. Of course, this was my daughter's first musical as a big kid. And, I watched as she placed herself smack dab in the middle of her best friends. They looked like the 4 musketeers singing and dancing...all in a row...a tearful moment as I could fast forward in my mind already to the time when they'd be 5th graders standing on stage for their very last musical. I can even imagine them fighting for parts!

Watching Maddie belt out the words to the songs while she managed to swirl her hands or sway her little hips to the beat brought more wet spots, more dabbing, more sniffling. Tony kept looking at me like I was nuts. Nick was oblivious. As I actually listened to the words, "God so loved the world, that he gave his only son...that everyone who believes in him would have eternal life...", you can imagine what happened again. More crying. What moment in life could even begin to equate itself with this one? I was watching my tiny 6-year-old sing the most powerful words with absolute belief and passion. These moments are precious. They are but a blink, and they are over. I know because I have watched my two older children pave the way before her. They were the benefit of my first batch of tears.

The worst part about being a sap like me is that I never know when the tears are going to hit. They just suddenly show up. There's no warning like the siren signalling a tornado on its way. I can be at the grocery store, at a sporting event or watching a commercial when my eyes just start to water. It's a little embarrassing to try to explain this to those who see me in a public place in this condition. It's not like my life is falling apart. How do I explain to someone that the reason tears are coursing down my cheeks is because my daughter just did the most amazing vault and stuck it...and then she looked at me to see if I saw what she did? Or, something Beth Moore said in her Bible study resonated with my soul? Or, friends of mine from years ago sent an amazing amount of money to help my son raise his support for Guatemala?

So, I have just resigned myself to becoming more of a crybaby over the years and have decided that the way I'll deal with this phenomenon is to always carry tissues. After all, I must keep my face on through all the tears! If you happen to see my eyes a little wet, don't assume the worst. Why, I might've just consumed the most delicious nonfat decaf Peppermint Mocha I have ever ordered at Starbucks! The possibilities are endless.

Nothing to Blab About

2007-12-14T09:57:00.000-05:00

Ok, so it took me 10 minutes just to create my creativeless blog title. Why? Because, frankly, I have nothing to blab about. This is why I've given my blog a new makeover. Perhaps, it will fool the numerous people (I think I'm up to 4 now) who visit my blog into thinking that I've actually written something new, amazing, life-changing. One person actually wrote a comment on one of my older blogs that I needed to write something new. Hmmmm.....wish I could think of something to write about.

It's an overwhelmingly busy time for me as well as several hundred million other people during the holiday season, so I've been taking the time to take care of my "to do" list items such as bake cookies, write the traditional Christmas letter that everyone dreads getting from me, Christmas shop and mail all the gifts to family that live far away from me (which is absolutely everyone...that's depressing), attend Christmas concerts, Christmas parties, gymnastics meets and surf the internet looking for a gift for my husband. I've decided that I'm not getting the $960 Colts tickets after all. It's a good thing that blogging is not on my "to do" list these days because I have nothing to say. You've probably figured that out by now.

I'll just provide those who care with an update on our lives in the last month since I've blogged:

Nick has his first girlfriend, Kyla. He's ga-ga over her. (Let me know if you need a definition of "ga-ga". When he mentioned to me about going to the prom with her in the Spring and I sort of replied with something like, "What if you aren't going out with her then? Aren't you a little premature?" He scoffed at me, "It's not like junior high, mom, where people go together for just a couple of weeks." Excuse me! I didn't realize the level of maturity I was dealing with. You'll see what I mean when you read below how junior highers deal with relationships. I'm completely aghast at the immaturity.

Alix "went" with a boy (they don't go anywhere at 13) for 2 weeks (might be the longest time yet), broke up with him and promptly "went" with another boy for a week. She broke up with him because she didn't like him anymore. Her likes don't last long. I suggested she just "be friends" with boys for awhile. When Alix was in 7th grade, I chronicled her first boyfriend. I stopped doing this after the 3rd one in 3 weeks. She's in and out of love faster than I can write.

Maddie was "Blue Ribbon Student of the Week" this week because she's been doing so well in getting her work done. During the week, she didn't get her morning work done twice and brought it home for homework and lost her homework on the bus and had to re-do it. She's only in 1st grade. We have a long road ahead of us, and I'm definitely going to be too old to deal with all this. After discussing with her the importance of setting an example since she's the Blue Ribbon Student, she prayed, "God, thank you that I am the Blue Ribbon Student. Help me to "be" it." So precious and sincere.

Tony and I were sitting at a gymnastics meet last weekend which happens to be the kind of sport in which we sit for 4 hours in order to watch our daughters compete for 1 minute each on 4 different events. Tony commented on how "sedementary" this sport is. "You mean "sedentary", right? Because, this sport isn't at all dirty." Guess we know where Maddie gets her little mix-up on words, don't we?!

And, me? Well, I have nothing to blab about.

Guilty of the Gimmies

2007-12-08T17:11:00.000-05:00

This is an article I recently wrote for our women's newsletter, Divine Lines. You can check out the entire newsletter at SOCC.org.

It was a huge mistake to venture into the brand new Build-A-Bear store with my daughter Maddie present. “Oh mommy, can I have this bear? No, I want the pink puppy dog. I want the bunny, too. Mommy, look at this cheerleading outfit! I want that. Oh, and I want that little bed for my new dog. Can I get those pajamas for my bunny?” The whining and wanting droned on and on as we viewed the other displays of outfits and accessories for cute little stuffed animals. The “gimmie” disease has latched onto my child and taken over her entire attitude. Even while browsing through the Samaritan’s Purse catalog to choose an item to donate, Maddie thought it was all about her. “Oooo, I want that little lamb and that blanket.” Ugh!

After experiencing a glorious Thanksgiving full of gratitude toward a Savior who loves us and has redeemed us, we turn the page on the calendar and very oftentimes, instead of focusing on the baby who took on human skin for us, we are bombarded with and distracted by a very different message. Children aren’t the only ones who catch the “gimmie” disease. I caught it just last week as I was browsing through stores in Nashville. Beautiful Christmas décor displayed in windows called to me to enter through the doors enticing me to purchase items I fancied adorning my home. I have to admit that I was reeled in like a fish on a line.

And what do we as parents communicate to our children during the Christmas season? Make a list, so we know what you want. We actually give our children permission to get the gimmies. The rest of the year I chant this mantra whenever I enter a store with my 6-year-old. “You are not getting anything from this store. Please do not ask.” Now I am asking, begging, pleading with my three children to tell me what they want because I am marching to the store to buy what their hearts’ desire. In case you think that I am a bit “scroogish” (if that’s a word), I certainly am not. I love to buy my children things. I delight in seeing their faces light up when they open a present that they asked for. I am simply pointing out that at Christmas it seems as if I am actually promoting selfishness, wanting and gimmie-itus by encouraging them to compile long lists of gift ideas.

How do we stop this madness? How do we promote giving instead of getting? Luke instructs us in Acts to remember that Jesus said that it is better to give than to receive. Most of us do not prefer that our children become selfish little imps at Christmas; rather, our greatest desire would be that they focus on the birthday of Jesus, the baby who changed the world by giving up heaven and putting on human skin. I want my children to really experience the joy of Christmas…giving not getting. A few ideas listed below may help our families concentrate more on giving than receiving this Christmas:

1. Adopt a family in need this year. Let your children help you shop for gifts.
2. Put together shoeboxes for Operation Christmas Child. Even though it’s too late for this year, plan to participate next Christmas.
3. Help your children “shop” in the Samaritan’s Purse or another organization’s catalog. You can choose an item to give such as a cow, a meal or a blanket for a needy child or family.
4. Every time you pass a Salvation Army bell ringer, give your child some money to drop in the bucket.
5. Participate as a family in any service opportunities Sherwood Oaks or another organization provides at Christmas.

While this is not an exhaustive list, it’s a start on our journey to help our children find the joy in giving, not receiving. My Savior gave up his home in heaven to take on human flesh so that I might receive the ultimate gift, salvation. This Christmas, may we as followers of Christ, demonstrate the attitude of giving so that those we cross paths with, whether at work, the mall or at home, catch “giving-itus”. Let’s get rid of those “gimmies”!

Interesting Conversations

2007-11-21T10:39:00.000-05:00

Don't you love Thanksgiving? It is the only holiday in which presents are not a concern, although Maddie did ask last night when we were going to open presents. She expressed huge disappointment that we do not actually open presents on Thanksgiving. Actually, the reverse is true. We give gifts of gratitude to our Savior instead!

Anyway, earlier this week I had an illuminating dialogue with Tony regarding "shopping". After all, we all know that the day after Thanksgiving is an extremely important day for people like me who are freakish enough to venture out into the maddening craziness and overwhelming lines of other freaks waiting to buy stuff our kids don't need for Christmas all in the name of saving money. I happen to enjoy doing this. As we were conversing, I explained the schedule for the day. After perusing the sales ads on Thanksgiving and determining which deals were worth awaking at 4 am, driving half asleep to the store and fighting other crazies over, we would then perhaps make our way to better shopping in Indianapolis if necessary. We would be gone until late. The kids would be cranky and dragging by the end of the day, but who cares. After all, we are saving money by doing this. I further declared that Saturday would be the official "Decorate the Tree and House" day.

Imagine my shock when my husband responds, "Why don't we put the tree up Friday when we get home?"

Me: "No, that won't work because we won't be home until late. We'll be too tired."

Tony: "Well, what you're talking about doing is only going to take a matter of a couple of hours."

Me: "What, are you kidding? No way. Shopping is more than looking in stores. It's an entire experience. You shop, you take a break for coffee, you shop, you have a snack, you shop, you eat lunch, etc. This is going to take all day. We're putting the tree up Saturday."

End of discussion. Bottom line: he may stay home. I warned him that I wasn't putting up with any cranky attitudes.

Fast forward two days to the next conversation...Maddie is discussing the trials she is having with another little girl in her classroom over a boy named Seth. They both like him, and she is troubled by this. "Mom, we both want him." Want? Want him for what? I'm a little concerned about this girl.

5 minutes later...Maddie is supposed to be brushing her teeth in the bathroom but comes back to me in the kitchen to relay an important revelation.

Maddie: "Mom, I don't like "saxy" (translation: sexy). " I tell you, we've got problems here.

Me: "Do you mean "sexy"? Do know what that means?"

Maddie: "You know, when girls try to be "saxy" (she's still saying it like this) and wear "saxy" clothes." She then goes through the charade of showing me she's talking about short sleeve shirts and even shirts that come off the shoulders.

Me: "Boys like girls who are pretty inside...like kind and loving."

Maddie: "Yes, I know mom. That's why I said in the bathroom that I don't want to be "saxy"."

I hope she's still saying that when she's 16. Somehow, I doubt it. I think we'll be locking her up.

Missing in Action

2007-11-15T12:43:00.000-05:00

It's Fall craziness at our home which is the reason that my blog has been inactive the past several weeks. For some reason, our three young'uns have chosen to participate in activities that occupy our time and energy from September until early Spring. Perhaps this is their way to ensure that we enter that mental institution to recover from the insanity this causes. Or, maybe they simply desire to experience freedom in the Spring to enjoy the sun and warmth that once again bestows its pleasure on us poor folk doomed to frigid temperatures in the midwest. The most obvious reason, however, is that tennis, gymnastics, cheerleading and performing in a musical seem to be Fall and Winter activities. Bummer! Still, what else would I be doing during this time of year if I weren't coordinating pick ups and drop offs and organizing how three children are going to get to their various activities that occur within minutes of each other? You wouldn't find me sunbathing at the pool in 50 degree weather, yet most assuredly you'll find me dreaming about a beach somewhere in the tropics. So, I suppose I am thankful that my first, middle and youngest whippersnappers haven't chosen the Spring to cause my insanity; otherwise, they might be taking a cab to their events!

For all my complaining (and yes, I know that Paul in Philippians says to do everything without complaining and arguing...and I suppose my star isn't shining quite so brightly at this particular moment), I really do treasure these moments of seeing my kids shine. As I watched Nick perform in the chorus of "Hello Dolly" and actually polka dance, I beamed with delight. During the waiter scene, I was amazed at his agility as he weaved in perfect synchronization between other waiters hoisting platters above their heads. Could this actually be my Nick parading around this stage or merely a stunt double? My Nick has never danced. Yet, he made it look quite simple, like he'd been performing the polka for years. Tears invaded my eyes as I viewed his performance. Peacocks could not be prouder of their fanned feathers as I was that glorious night.

Not to be outdone by her brother, Alix competed in her first level 8 gymnastics meet with passion and excitement. I never get tired of watching this amazing girl do her stuff on the beam, bars, floor and vault. I suppose I'm in awe at her powerful tumbling passes on the floor, her ability to throw a back handspring on a 4 inch beam, the giants she completes on the bars and the unbelievable pike sukes with a double back she performs on the vault. Even though these meets are four hours long with the Alix' actual routines only about 1 minute maximum in length, I delight in watching her reach for her potential. Tony has offered to go in my place, so I don't have to travel the distances we drive to compete, but I can't not go! A point will come when watching these babies of mine show their stuff will be a thing of the past. Until that time, I plan to take advantage of every moment to be there.

Then we have Maddie, the baby, competing in her first level 4 meet as a novice gymnast. What fun it is to watch her as she attempts to simply remember her routines. You can practically see the wheels turning inside that brain of hers, "What do I do next?" I've never seen such tight legs and pointed toes. It seems so automatic with her. Still, she's a speed racer in ALL of her routines. Her goal? To get them over with as quickly as possible. Then, to watch both of my gymnasts receive medals as they stand on the podium during the awards ceremony is another proud moment for me. They beam at me as if to say, "See, look what we did?"

These are moments of joy for me as a mom to see my children reach goals they've worked hard for through months of practice. Of course, they could simply be, and I'd be incredibly proud of them. Isn't that how our heavenly Father sees us? We are his children, and he loves us whether we do fabulous things or not. In fact, I believe that he is more concerned with our "being" than our "doing". My greatest desire is that my children become more like Jesus than that they accomplish great things by the world's standards. Still, there's nothing quite like beholding a 16 year old dance across the stage or two beautiful girls flip across the floor ending with a gymnast salute!

Miss the Bus Day

2007-10-24T12:48:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was "miss the bus" day at our house. Of my three children, two managed to throw my day off kilter by daring to do this BIG "no-no". Fortunately, this doesn't occur very often, but when it does, momma ain't happy.

Nick managed to fall back to sleep after I had sweetly awakened him. Alix noticed that he was still snoozing at 7 am and kindly told him to get up or he was sure to miss the bus arriving at 7:20. As I was taking my own shower because of course, I HAD to be somewhere too, I heard the bus arrive, leave and Nick yelling through the door that he was not on the bus. GREAT! My whole schedule was going to hades in a handbasket. I prayed without ceasing that I would not lose my salvation when I conversed with Nick about his apparent problems with making his bus appointment, so that my life would not have to be rearranged and inconvenienced. Well of course Nick blamed his inability to get to the bus on that darn shower. The water stopped flowing in the middle of his shower about five times. Of all days for that to happen. The other part of his problem was staying up to watch the Colts beat the Jaguars which caused a few problems prying open his eyes that morning. At our house, it's always someone else's fault!

Very calmly, and nicely, I might add, I explained to Nick that he needed to get Maddie up and get her ready, so that I could apply my make-up before we left. Priorities are priorities, so I delegated Maddie detail to Nick, so I could concentrate on my face. After all, I couldn't drive to the high school and back with the "natural" look. That would be horrifying and might cause some accidents on the road. He graciously gave Maddie her pop tart, the breakfast of champions, while I laid out her clothes and finished in the bathroom. Ever have a 16 year old watching you get ready and urging you to hurry up? I was definitely not in the mood for that, figuring that it was his own fault for waking up late and well, maybe I just needed to put on an extra bit of mascara and blush this particular day. You know what I mean?

He made it on time to school and even wisely thanked me for driving him. After tossing out the morning mantra, "have a good day at school", he skipped into school joyfully to attend his first class (you betcha), while I raced home to madly dry my still wet hair and get another child on the bus to 1st grade. By this time it's 8:10, and Maddie's bus appointment is in 10 short minutes. I thought I could make it. The sinking feeling came when I was still putting the finishing touches on my hair, and I heard Maddie's bus go by. Big bummer! Now I had to drive another child to school in the opposite direction of where I needed to be at 9 am. This day had just begin, and it was already going downhill.

I expressed a sigh of relief after I dropped off this last child at school and headed toward the church for my Bible study. I knew I was going to be late, but I didn't care, because my day was going to start looking up. It just didn't matter that when I began walking in the downpour with my umbrella into the church building, it flipped inside out with the heavy winds and I could barely hang onto it. After an hour with Beth Moore and some friends, I knew I'd be feeling much better.

Guilty or Innocent?

2007-10-13T16:18:00.000-04:00

Last night at our high school football game, free-spirited Maddie found her friend Daxton to play with. While Tony and I sit up in the stands, Maddie and Daxton love to run down the stairs and play, sometimes venturing under the bleachers, literally hanging around on the poles underneath. During one of the times Maddie and Daxton bounded up the stairs to check on us parents, I asked her what they were doing. "We're just playing halfway under the bleachers."

"No, I mean what are you doing under there?"

"Well," she says, "we're not playing boyfriend and girlfriend."

Hmmmmm. I think we've got trouble. She better not be "playing" boyfriend and girlfriend under the bleachers when she's 16. Guilty or innocent? I say she's guilty by reason of her admission of what they were definitely not doing!

The Two Shall Become One!

2007-10-06T22:01:00.000-04:00

Tony and I fulfilled scripture in a very different sense this week...in a shopping trip. No, my husband is NOT a shopper, unfortunately. And, actually, I'd much prefer him not to accompany me on my shopping trips because...frankly, he makes me nervous. I feel the need to entertain him, make sure he's having fun, not bored, etc. Girlfriends are the best shopping companions aside from my brother-in-law, Steve, who is the only man I've met who enjoys browsing and buying!

Earlier this week Tony mentioned that he needed new dress shirts. Apparently, they have been shrinking in the neck to the point of almost choking him. Either that or his neck has grown a half inch. Not wanting my poor husband to suffer unduly, I made a trip to TJ Maxx to purchase some new shirts. As I was walking out with 5 assorted dress shirts in a bag, my cell phone rang. Guess who? Yep, it was Tony asking me what I was doing. "Shoot, caught shopping again," I thought. Only this time it's for a good cause. Save my poor, sweet baby from dying while in the middle of a presentation to a client. "So, what are you doing?" he asks.

"Well, I'm just walking out of TJ Maxx."

"Oh," he says. "I was just there earlier today."

Completely aghast and peeved, I spout, "You didn't buy any shirts, did you?"

"Why yes I did."

"Well, I just now bought you some shirts, too. I guess we'll just have to compare and see what we both came up with. This will be interesting to see."

Later that evening in our house, one might have received the impression that it was Christmas. I excitedly held my treasured purchase of shirts tightly concealed in the bag waiting to see how we matched up in our separate buying sprees. Would our two bags demonstrate unity in mind even in shopping, or would we remain separate entities, doomed to give each other gift cards for the rest of our days? We sprung the bags open to reveal the contents. The results were astounding. Two white shirts versus two white shirts; one blue shirt versus one blue shirt; one tan shirt versus one tan shirt! The only leftover was the extra maroon shirt in my bag. It was a joyous occasion in our household that night. We experienced a new dimension in our marriage relationship as we realized that we can shop for one another with an assurance that we have similar tastes. This, coupled with the excitement over returning all the extra, unnecessary dress shirts purchased, thus saving money, was cause for great celebration. And, you know my husband, he loves it when I save him moolah when I shop!

Don't Get Caught Sleeping!

2007-09-26T09:03:00.000-04:00

Last night, Maddie enjoyed some daddy and me time while the rest of the family was at various activities. They watched the thunderstorm on the deck while Maddie danced around in her bathing suit. They ate dinner together and read Bible stories. T-h-e-n, they played Yahtzee, Maddie's new favorite fun game. A curious phenomenon happened...Daddy fell asleep in the middle of playing the game. I'm told this occurred while Maddie was attempting to add her score on the dice. I asked Tony, "How can you fall asleep playing a game?" While Maddie is prodding her dad to "wake up", he responds by telling her that he's going to need a catnap after Yahtzee is over. Yeah, like he didn't just get one.

My husband has some serious sleep issues. This is a guy who awakens at 4 am and can't beg, borrow or steal sleep, which contributes to his catnapping throughout the day. Thus, he's been caught with his eyes shut in the middle of reading to his daughter, occasionally at work and while I am conversing with him (actually it's more of a one-way conversation). I have taken offense to this numerous times although Tony assures me that my voice is just so soothing that his eyes close. Yeah, right! That's just his nice way of saying that I'm boring! Ok, so perhaps I can believe that I might occasionally 'cause a person's eyes to glaze over, but at least I haven't caused the death of someone by my talking on and on as Paul did when Eutychus snoozed during Paul's sermon and fell out a 3rd story window.

Anyhoo, I'm still quite amazed at this Yahtzee sleep tale. Picture with me: Maddie shaking her dice in the red cup, quite loudly, spilling it out onto the table, quite loudly, and Tony sawing logs in the chair beside her. Picture again: Silence, absolute quiet, no disturbances and insomnia at 4 am. Absolute conundrum.

Calendar Quotes

2007-09-26T08:51:00.000-04:00

"If it weren't for the last minute, nothing would get done." Many times, this is how my house gets clean...at the last minute.

"God put me on earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never die." I'm thinking I'd rather be raptured in the middle of doing some of this stuff!

When Life is Faster Than a Speeding Bullet

2007-09-25T13:13:00.000-04:00

"Busy, Busy dreadfully busy

You've no idea what I have to do

Busy, busy, shockingly busy

Much, much too busy for you" (Veggie Tales song)

This has been my mantra for the last week; hence, no time to even write a blog entry! With 3

tennis matches, 2 football "cheer" games, kids' choir and 4 gymnastic practices, I had to remind

myself to breathe. I'm pooped, and I didn't even ace a serve, perform a stunt, sing a note or soar

over the vault table. I'm serious, this taxi-driving takes its toll on a person's body not to mention

your mind. There's some complicated pondering before driving that takes place.

For example, one must determine the best order in which to drop off and pick up children and how at times to be in two places at once. I can't even begin to tell how many times one child calls to say they are ready to be picked up from a practice, and I have to tell them to wait 30 minutes. I can hear the frustration on the other end of the line. My response, "I'm sorry, there is only one of me driving here, so if you can get a ride home, that'd be great!"

I think I'm beginning to understand why I took all that complicated math in high school...so I had the ability to calculate the fastest routes through the city. I know all the shortcuts from the gymnastics club to South, Jackson Creek and Kroger. I can maneuver the back routes to Wal-Mart for a quick shopping trip if need be. (Aside: as a rule of thumb, I really try to avoid Wal-Mart at all costs.) I apologize to all of you Wal-Marters...I happen to prefer Target. It's a much happier place.

Needless to say, I believe I'm in a hurry much of my day. A friend of mine would diagnose my condition as "hurry sickness". Well, at this particular time in my life, she is absolutely correct. With 3 active children, only allowed in one sport each, but with a myriad of school and church activities, how can I not be driving myself crazy? I have to force myself to s...l...o...w d...o...w...n. I need to take time to bask in God's presence and be refreshed by His Word. Otherwise, I begin to go into "survival" mode and feel this ominous sense that this hurry-crazed life is going to overwhelm me and bury me.

When I inhale His words of life to me and ask for His Holy Spirit to fill me to the brim, I am renewed. I can actually prioritize my day better and ask Him to order my steps. Sure, I stillhave to tote those kids everywhere, but my perspective is much better. I look at my "to do" list and realize that the items not crossed off can wait. I'd rather be watching Nick play tennis, Alix throw her back tuck during cheer and Maddie do her back handspring on the floor. I'd rather spend time at an IU Football game with my husband even if they are trampled by the opposing team. I'd rather actually sit down and view the Colts game with my family instead of looking at snippets as I work in the kitchen. So, these are the activities I enjoyed in this crazy, whirlwind of a week.

In the middle of some wild, behind the wheel maneuvering to get across town (sorry if I cut you off), there was rest and delight as I had the great privilege of beholding the greatest treasures God has ever given me using the gifts that God has given them. What joy fills my soul.

Warning: Kindergarten Leads to Graduation

2007-09-17T15:36:00.000-04:00

A few days ago I was setting up some new files for my kids' school papers...you know the papers that are so special that you need to keep them forever? As I was writing one particular file label, "Nick-11th grade", my mind flashbacked to a time about 11 years ago to my house in Washington where I began this paper-collecting. I had begun at that time to save EVERY paper my children brought home from school. By the time Nick was in 1st grade, three large cardboard boxes were stacked in my laundry room on top of the extra refrigerator. As I calculated the math, I realized that by the time Nick was out of high school, I would have more than 12 boxes of a menagerie of art work, math and language papers as well as other assortments of intelligent school work he had completed. Let's see...12 boxes times 3 children equals...36 boxes of very important yet space consuming objects. I would have to eventually sell furniture and use the boxes to sit on. Realizing that this was totally impractical, I decided that perhaps it would be just as meaningful to save a few papers throughout the year, deposit them in a file and then load all those files (36 or more) into one box. Much better idea!

That being said, I was dumbfounded as I wrote those words, "Nick-11th grade" across the top. How could that possibly be? He was just in Kindergarten yesterday, wasn't he? Only two more short years and no more file labels for Nick. I seriously doubt he'll donate his college papers for his sappy mother's files. Tears threatened to break open down my face as I realized that I am nearing the end of a season of life with one of my children.

How I long to slow down these days that seem to rush headlong into a week and then a month before I can blink. I want to savor the moments I have with Nick, like the lunch we had together, just he and I, after a doctor's appointment yesterday. These duet moments happen so infrequently now, but when they are available, I desire to snatch them up greedily as if I were hoarding the last piece of dark chocolate! My attention is fixed solely on him when no one else is clamoring for a piece of me. Nick feels less inhibited to share when his other siblings aren't present to listen to the conversation. Oh, if only life would run in slow motion these next two years; however, I have this sneaking suspicion it'll feel more like a thundering locomotive intent on reaching it's destination.

Choosing to Forgive

2007-09-11T10:20:00.000-04:00

This past weekend, 14 wild and worn-out women, weaved our way to Nashville, Tennessee to attend a "Deeper Still" conference with teaching by the infamous Beth Moore, Priscilla Evans Shirer and Kay Arthur. The icing on the cake was hearing American Idol singer, Mandisa. She was powerful in song, bold in her testimony, convicting regarding her forgiveness of Simon who openly criticized her weight on national television. It was a testimony of huge proportions to hear Mandisa share that while many had urged her to "let Simon have it" on national television, she chose to forgive him in the presence of millions of viewers. How powerful! How greatly that goes against the grain of what this world teaches humanity to do. While they chant "revenge"; Mandisa shocks the world with three words, "I forgive you".

By letting Simon off her hook and not retaliating, she is not forgetting what He said, but rather she is giving it to God and allowing Him to take care of it. She is choosing not to allow bitterness and resentment to take residence in her heart. I remember watching Simon's face on television the night Mandisa told him that she forgave his offense. He was speechless. The world does not understand this grace of forgiveness. It's a foreign idea to the reigning thought that one should retaliate, seek revenge and "give it to 'em with both barrels". I'm sure Simon fully expected to get his due because this is exactly the kind of stuff that boosts those television ratings. However, what Simon received is not what he deserved; he got grace, the same kind Jesus extended to us when He died on the cross for every past, present and future infraction we would ever commit against Him. It's the same exact forgiveness Christ offered to all of humanity, that none of us deserve.

Mandisa simply did what all of us are called to do as followers of Christ...forgive! Colossians 3:13 states, "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you." No room for arguments or excuses here. This is a command. God forgives you; you forgive others. Simple words, but difficult to execute. How did Mandisa do this? How do we do this?

At the risk of sounding trite, let me say that we can only do this with God's help. Several years ago, a major offense was committed against me. I had every "right" to be angry, seek revenge and harbor bitter feelings toward the individual who sinned against me according to the world's standards. But being a Christ-follower, I had set aside those so-called "rights" to get even, to be unforgiving, to hang onto my anger. Let me tell you that my choice to forgive this person had nothing to do with my feelings or my forgetting of the offense. Frankly, I was scared to death that if I didn't forgive, my heavenly Father would not forgive me, and I knew that I was the greater offender.

Feelings are fickle at best. I cannot live relying on my feelings which change about a million times throughout the day. Just take my marriage relationship, for example. One minute I'm feeling mushy-gushy just thinking about my husband, but he could walk in late from work, and suddenly I'm hacked off at him. You know what I'm talking about! I'm committed to loving him no matter what I feel about him at any particular moment. Same thing with forgiveness. I didn't feel like forgiving, but as a committed Christian, I chose to extend it regardless. And what about the forgetting aspect? Oh, I haven't forgotten what happened. Somehow, we think that forgiveness means we forget what happened, that the person won't "pay" for what they did to us. Certainly not! It means that we choose not to allow their offenses to enslave us; it means that we are letting them off our hook...but God still holds them accountable for their actions. This gives me so much freedom...freedom from guilt and bitterness and freedom to live the life that Christ has called me to.

I think about Mandisa and how her actions in forgiving Simon shocked a world who is so counterculture to Christ-like values. Oh, that more of us would send mind-blowing messages like this to the people Christ puts in our paths. Just as Christ's forgiveness has transformed our lives; may the forgiveness we offer our family and friends draw them to the Christ whom we claim to belong!

More Maddie

2007-09-04T19:38:00.000-04:00

This evening at dinner, Maddie shared, "Did you know that you can eat on the bus? On the way home, I shared my lunch with my friend." This is because her friends actually eat their lunch at school. My daughter chooses to talk and get to recess more quickly so that she must eat on the way home. Tony and I asked her which friend she gave some of her food to. "I don't remember her name." My husband and I glanced at each other because this is an ongoing problem with her of not remembering her friends' names. Noticing our looks, she said, "What? You know I never remember people's names!"

We howled because this is her father's trait...forgetting people's names.

The New Neighbors

2007-09-04T10:11:00.001-04:00

We have lived in the same neighborhood for the past 6 years, a small cul-de-sac of only six houses and really nice people. Over the past couple of years, 3 of these houses have changed hands, replaced by a strange, eclectic group of people. I tell you, I don't like it! I want my old, friendly, normal neighbors back. We all liked each other, stopped to talk through our car windows on the street, wandered over to each other's houses if we saw one another outside. Our neighbor, Jeff, next door would offer great advice about lawn care and planting trees or flowers. We went to his daughter's graduation from high school, her wedding two years later and then his son's graduation. We had become family. Then, they decided to build another house closer to the lake much to our dismay.

I knew we were in deep trouble when Jeff began describing the negotiations to sell their home with someone from the East coast. This guy sounded like a troublemaker; a cold, unfriendly, unreasonable dude. I wished for the deal to fall through, but alas, it didn't happen. This family moved in, a dad and his two teenage children. Being the good neighbor that I am, I baked 3 batches of brownies for this family. Why 3 batches? Well, I'm glad you asked. Because, the first batch, a new recipe, Maddie would not even eat. I couldn't serve those. Our dog, Bella, liked them, however. The second batch burned. The 3rd was scrumptious, but when we tried to deliver them, the family was never home. So, I put them in the freezer to be delivered after our return from our vacation to Seattle.

After thawing these yummy, frosted brownies, they sat on my counter for days. This family was never home. I didn't see them outside in the yard...ever! I finally just threw out the brownies and trashed my nice "welcome" card. One day, we saw the two kids next door riding bikes. This was my chance to finally meet them and show them how much I cared. After all, I had heard through the grapevine that their mom was dead. How awful! I could be a loving, nurturing woman next door to be there if they needed me. I had visions of being a second mom to these poor, neglected children until we were introduced. I met one polite 14 year old boy and one invasive, nosy 12 year old girl who has since permanently attached herself to my 6-year-old.

Danielle is over at our house the minute after we drive into the garage, ringing the doorbell for Maddie to ride bikes, play Barbie's or search for our other neighbor's dog wandering the neighborhood (another great story). Why does a teenager want to play with a 1st grader, anyway? She's even borrowed Maddie's Barbie's to give them makeovers. Weird! Danielle is an assertive little girl who's definitely also majoring in manipulation. "Mrs. Stonger, I hope I'm not bothering you guys too much. Tell me if I'm being a pest." Don't worry, I will!

I've been concerned about her influence on Maddie. My goodness, they were downstairs playing with the Barbie's, pretending they were rich and could buy anything they wanted. My overprotective self went into gear. "Whose idea was that, Maddie?" "Danielle's." I'm getting my ammunition ready so I can have a talk with this worldly girl who is influencing my little daughter. "Ok, so whose idea was it to play 'boyfriends' with the Barbie's?" "Mine," pipes Maddie. Darn it...must be the High School Musical 2. Time to cut out Disney shows.

It's interesting to me that this 7th grade girl has not connected with my 8th grade daughter. Alix is sweet, kind and has absolutely nothing in common with Danielle. And, she doesn't play with Barbie's anymore! I'm still trying to figure it all out...the dynamics of these relationships. Maddie, at 6, will play with anyone who gives her the time of day, not to mention that she's home more often than my gymnast, cheerleader daughter. Danielle wants friends; Alix has friends. Then, I discover that Danielle's mom is not deceased but rather is divorced from her dad. And, she's not allowed to have contact with her. This perhaps explains some of Danielle's querks. She is longing for attention and acceptance. Perhaps, she tells me that she doesn't want to be a pest to anybody because she's been told that she is one.

Because of some of Danielle's influence on Maddie, I've had numerous teaching moments with Maddie to "think for yourself." "What does that mean?" she asks me. "It means that if Danielle suggests something, and it is not something mommy and daddy would want you to do, you 'think for yourself' and you tell her you can't do it because it's not right." Believe me, we've already encountered this several times!

I'm truly torn. I want to reach out to this girl that needs to be loved and accepted, but I want my privacy too. My life is too busy to invest into an "egr" (extra-grace required) person. Unfortunately, I believe God is telling me to take the time, invest some love and see what He might do. My nice, little cozy world with my non-needy, hospitable, kind neighbors has been shaken up. While I wouldn't have voted this family into the neighborhood, God surely place them next door for a reason. He is doing something here, and I'm not sure I appreciate it. The message is blaring in my heart loud and clear. "Love your neighbor."

The Quotable Madisen

2007-08-29T09:25:00.000-04:00

Occasionally, Miss Maddie confuses her words; this is a trait that she has inherited from her father. It's quite cute at age 6, however. Maddie announced as we were driving home from gymnastics a couple of nights ago that she wanted baked potatos for dinner. I told her that dinner was already prepared and baked potatos were not on the menu. "Well, when are we going to have mashed potatos?" "Probably at Thanksgiving, Maddie." (It's a once a year tradition in our house--too much work.) Maddie then whined, "Well, I like that syrup that goes on them." Yep, me too, Maddie, me too!

Yesterday Maddie informed me that her friend, Hannah, received an ipod for her birthday. Just as thoughts began to assail me that someone would actually give their 6-year-old an ipod for her birthday, Maddie clarified that it was her big friend Hannah on the bus. "You know, Mom, she was 12 and she just turned 11." Now, there's a trend I'd like to begin at age 43...going back in age each birthday!

On Growth and Maturity

2007-08-28T09:41:00.000-04:00

Something of great magnitude in the Kingdom of God occurred this past Sunday. My 13 year old daughter, Alix, was baptized. I'm sure there was great rejoicing in heaven as there was on the second pew where we were sitting. Several weeks ago, Alix called me from her week long camp at Kentucky Christian College and told me that she had made the decision to be baptized. I was ecstatic and told her that following Jesus was the most important decision she would ever make in her life. Realizing that this girl, my middle child, is not comfortable expressing her feelings, it meant a great deal to me that she called me to share this news. While I've always attempted to make it easy and comfortable for her to talk with me about her feelings and concerns, she just doesn't. This has caused me to trust God more with our relationship. I've had to realize that just because she's not like me, spilling my guts to anyone who cares, doesn't mean there is something wrong with her! As a matter of fact, maybe she's a little smarter than I am.

Over the last few years, I've watched this sweet girl mature into a beautiful, young teen. Deep down, I believe she has a great love for God and wants to do the right things, but she is more quiet about it. Isn't it so wonderful that God loves us all, as different as we are? Alix is extremely social with her friends, well-liked...yet private about many things. She is not one to volunteer information, but if I ask her a question, she has learned to willingly answer. This has been a process for her because she at one time felt that she didn't have to tell me certain things. However, through a series of events, she learned that in order to have trust, you can't have secrets or hide the truth. She's learned that she gains more freedom when she is open and doesn't hide things from her parents.

On a purely physical matter, she has made great strides in her choice of clothing. Last night, she and I had an "aha" moment. On the way home from cheerleading practice, Alix was complaining about the shirt the cheerleaders were required to wear to school the next day. "Mom, I don't want to wear that shirt. It's not fitted; it's a baggy t-shirt." "Oh, really? Hmmm...Alix, do you remember two years ago when you were in 6th grade? You would only wear baggy t-shirts! We bought you all these cute shirts, and you'd come out of your room with these ugly sports t-shirts you got for free from gymnastic's meets." She grinned sheepishly as I jarred her memory of those hideous shirts. I remember how I finally gave up the battle of the clothes, resigned to let her look like a slob. At least that's how I viewed it; she was comfortable with her choices. I made a choice that this battle of the wills was not worth it. As she entered junior high, she began to make different decisions about her clothes, deciding that she cared about how she looked and discarded the old t-shirts for bedtime pajamas! My, how she has grown over these past few years.

Yes, she is growing up. I continue to pray that she makes wise choices in the future about how she lives her life and that she roots herself deep in Christ so that she can stand firm no matter what comes her way!

Space Cadet-itis

2007-08-25T19:43:00.000-04:00

"A condition in which one momentarily spaces out and does something stupid due to not paying attention. Occurs most of the time with blondes but may also happen with those of different hair color."

It appears that I have not only inherited this condition from one of my ancestors, but I have also unfortunately passed this trait to one of my daughters. I'm afraid, however, that my 13-year-old has a more severe case than I had at her age, unless my 43-year-old mind has blocked out all the bad memories of my airheadedness during my teen years. I do believe that this condition improves with maturity. Occasionally, I do have relapses, though.

For example, just last week at the Target Starbuck's counter, I ordered a grande light Cafe Vanilla Frappacino, while at the same time fumbling in my wallet to give Maddie two quarters to buy a cookie at the other counter. Directly after ordering and giving the coins to her, I left the register to wait for my drink at the other counter. When I glanced over at the girl standing behind the register, she said, "Uh, it's $4.62." I apparently completely spaced out about paying for my drink in the confusion over the quarters. I apologized profusely siting my "space cadet-itis" condition to her as the reason for my negligence in paying. She seemed to know exactly what I was talking about.

Just yesterday morning while I was preparing to apply my make up, I was deep in thought...as deep as a blonde can be. I reached for my toner and a cotton ball and began smoothing it across my face when I realized I had inadvertently grabbed the nail polish remover. Did you know that they have about the same smell? "What a space cadet!" I said to the face in the mirror.

While this airhead condition I have seems to have diminished over the years, it's quite clear that I will be cursed with episodes and relapses that occur out of the blue, when I least expect it. It creeps up on me at unsuspecting times; you know, the times when I am frantically searching for my keys when I suddenly realize that I am holding them.

Age of Exploration Part II

2007-08-16T09:38:00.000-04:00

Portugal's newest explorers are pictured here! Vasco de Gama and Prince Henry the Navigator have absolutely nothing on us! Ok, so they made Portugal famous way back in the 15th and 16th centuries with explorations to India and Africa and their discovery of the spices that made Portugal rich, but what about us? We made our own discoveries in our journey. I'm seriously thinking that a nice statue of us would go well here in the Jeronimos Monastery built with the so-called "pepper" tax.

I discovered a new very important word in Portuguese...the word "saldos" means "sale". It didn't take this blonde very long to learn what that word meant that was blanketed across every store front! My only disappointment was that Tony decided to control all the euros and doled them out very sparingly.

Maddie was very pleased to learn that Cinderella's coach resides in the Coach Museum in Lisbon which contains the largest collection of royal coaches in the world. It turns out that her coach did not change back into a pumpkin after all. Please notify all your little princesses of this important news. I definitely would have wanted to be royalty during this time period. Peasants travelled by foot, and in the city of Lisbon with all of its steep cobblestone sidewalks and streets, this can get very tiring and causes soreness in one's calves.

Another discovery! A Moorish castle built in the 8th and 9th centuries. How does one exactly build something of this magnitude this far up into the hills and with what tools? A chisel and hammer? Some of the cathedrals and castles we explored took over 100 years to build. Imagine working on a building you'd never see completed. I didn't realize that the Muslims had quite an influence in Portugal early in their history. Much of the architecture is Islamic. The Christians conquered and took over this castle in the 1100's.

This amazing castle, the Pena Palace, was built in the mid-1800's by King Ferdinand who was strongly influenced by his cousin, King Ludwig of Bavaria who built the Disneylike castle Neuschwanstein. Ferdinand hired an architect who combined several styles of architecture, Gothic towers, Renaissance domes, Moorish minarets and Manueline carving. Of course, it has the characteristic Arabic tiles as well. Tony came up with his own unmentionable name for this palace...hmmm, wonder what that could be?

The bidet happened to be my husband's favorite new toy! He's quite convinced we need to install one in our bathroom. Is it men that just use these objects? For some reason, I'm not quite figuring it out and don't see the necessity for such a fixture in our bathroom. Enlighten me if you view these objects differently.

Our final day in Lisbon, we meandered through the streets of the Alfama, the oldest section of the city. The Sao Jorge castle was built here by the Moors in the 9th century and was used for several hundred years as the King's palace after the Christians conquered the city. We counted 6 churches in this area of the city! The Alfama begins high above the city, as you see in this picture, and contains all the buildings below as well. We walked down via cobblestone stairs and narrow alleys in the midst of hanging laundry, Portuguese gossip across rod iron balconies and the occasional small restaurant or village market (with pig's feet displayed in the windows) to arrive at the bottom nearest the Tagus River. This is where the old-timers live while the younger folks are venturing out into areas of the city where more of the modern conveniences are. I think it's the public baths that are causing this phenomenon; I don't blame them. All in favor of indoor plumbing, say "aye".

This is just a snapshot of our Portugal adventures. We absolutely loved this country and its people. I fell in love with the language and seriously considered coming back to the states to learn it. Don't ask me why except it's very beautiful, very French-like in some ways. However, more than one person has told me that it's a very difficult language to learn. Perhaps I'll save it for another day. Someday, I hope to get the opportunity to explore more in the other villages of Portugal. However, for all the excitement that Portugal provided, it could not compare to the precious time together that Tony and I had. Many times during this trip, I fought back tears as I thought, "I am blessed beyond measure, Lord!" Yes, I am truly a sap. Still, I know how blessed I am in so many ways and I must express my gratefulness to God continually.

A New Chapter

2007-08-15T10:20:00.000-04:00

This morning one school bus arrived at 7:20 to transport two children to junior high and high school for the first day of school, a normal occurance for many years now. The major change this year, however, is that one hour later, another school bus came to take my youngest to her first ALL day experience as a 1st grader. Why is this so difficult? I should be jumping for joy, ecstatic at having entire days at my disposal to eat chocolate, watch daytime television and generally do nothing. No more interruptions during the day while I'm attempting to do my Bible study, blog or bake. No more whining for snacks, watching tv or playing on the computer. No more two hour grocery trips begging my little one to stay with me, asking her to stop touching everything or telling her to put the candy or gum back. No more "not now", "later", or "in a minute". No more noise.

Ahhhh, I hate it already. In all my longing for peace and quiet, I love hearing that little, not so quiet voice. I love hearing her playing mommy to her dolls. I love listening to her voice read to me, sounding out difficult words. I love having her ask me to close my eyes so she can show me how she made her bed or cleaned the bathroom (everything lined up neatly across the counter). I love her cuddling up next to me to tell me she loves me. I love the spontaneous notes she writes to her daddy and me.

Yes, I shed some tears this morning. It's too quiet here. This is such a surprise to me, these emotions. I'm grieving the loss of what was and will never be again. I spent some time asking God for direction in this new phase of life I'm in. I realize there are new doors He will open, opportunities for ministry and work. But, I still don't like this right now. I want that little girl back with all her spunk and love, her "life's a party" mentality and humor and yes, even her disobedience and destructiveness. It's just way too quiet!

Two Days From Now

2007-08-03T00:05:00.000-04:00

It hasn't quite registered to me that in 48 hours, Tony and I will be flying over the Atlantic to Lisbon, Portugal. No kids. No cooking. No cleaning. No normal life. For 8 days we'll pretend that we haven't a care in the world except which cathedral or castle to behold. No bickering except between us! No worries except what to order off the menu. I will even bask in the entire 9 hour flight since I can read with no interruptions until I doze off.

My three children will be in the most excellent care of their grandparents who make us look like complete bores. Besides their awesome responsibility of playing taxi driver and the general feeding and care of the grandkids, it'll be a week of playing games, eating ice cream and considerable other junk items and quite possibly little, if any chores. It makes it a little tricky when the bores return and crack the whip of daily chores, are too busy for games and allow no ice cream if a good meal has not been consumed. Who cares about these great luxuries afforded them during this week? Not me because for one week I have absolutely no worries about the well-being of my precious gifts from above.

While I won't be blogging for a few days, stay tuned for some pictures from Portugal as well as reflections about our visit. Bon voyage, hasta la vista...

Cleaning House...What a drag!

2007-07-31T21:50:00.000-04:00

I am a pathetic housekeeper, really! The only time I accomplish some deep cleaning is, oh, you know...when company is coming! So, my parents are arriving tomorrow morning from the West coast, and I have been scrubbing, washing, sweeping, mopping, vacuuming like a madwoman for the past two days in between running kids to tennis, gymnastics and the pool. Why do I do this to myself? My kids and husband avoid me during these times because I turn into the wicked witch from the west.

Certain friends of mine have actual cleaning schedules. I tried that...once. I guess it required too much self discipline or something. Monday was laundry day; Tuesday, floors; Wednesday, bathrooms, etc. I'd really like to implement something like this into my days. Then, perhaps I wouldn't become such a basket case right before family shows up on my doorstep. Instead of washing 18 windows and 3 sliding doors inside and out hours before, I could actually start weeks ahead of time. I could space out the vacuuming over a few days to avoid the incessant barking of our dog, who goes completely loony during the cleaning process. Imagine having a clean house weekly instead of quarterly!

Tony doesn't understand any of this madness, not that I'm too concerned about it. Goodness gracious, I need to keep up the appearances that my house looks like it's spotless all the time. I guess it's one of those masks I wear, you know, the "I have it all together" look or at least my house does. Truly, when I clean my house, it's less about the fact that it's dirty and more about people's perceptions of me. This is the part Tony doesn't get. "Who cares?" is his cry. Well, golly, jeepers, I sure do care. How could I even think of having family or friends stay at my house with toys strewn about, dust on my shelves or bird doo-doo on the windows? It's okay if my family and I live in that muck most of the time, but I sure don't want to advertise that to anyone else.

Now you know the "real" me. I'm coming out of the closet, coming clean! I am a severe procrastinator with regard to cleaning. I may even be allergic to it. I'll let you know if I break out into hives or my eyes become puffy or swollen. Perhaps then Tony will fire that lousy housekeeper! Wishful thinking, I'm sure.

Alas, I'm tired and sore, but my tasks are complete...mostly. I didn't get all the white doors wiped free of fingerprints and other odd stains; a few windows are still dirty; weeds still permeate the front flowerbed. Oh well, there's always tomorrow at 6 am before I leave for the airport, or not! I don't want my parents to think I'm perfect.

Benefits of Drug-Induced Insomnia

2007-07-27T11:24:00.000-04:00

1. Uninterrupted computer time at 12:30 am to research the antibiotic I'm taking, Levaquin, and discovering certain side effects can be insomnia. Confusion and hallucinations are other affects of the drug which I also experienced as I lay tossing, turning and generally wigging out before I actually arose out of bed to do my research.

2. No distractions while I'm responding to my email.

3. I don't have to hiss at my children, "Be quiet because I'm having my quiet time with the Lord" since they are all asleep during the hours I'm awake.

4. Finishing the book Envy by Bob Sorge by 2:30 am.

5. Enjoying extended prayer time for everyone/everywhere, even though I'm in a catatonic state and can barely think clearly.

6. Eating a piece of Milky Way dark chocolate and noone knows or cares.

7. Listening to the silence; it's golden.

8. Plenty of time to plan the next vacation.

9. Contemplating that this might be a good time of the day to scrapbook....or not!

10. Thinking bad thoughts and harboring anger towards the doctor who prescribed this without telling me that one of the side effects is severe sleeplessness.

11. Crawling in bed at 4 am wishing for sleep but knowing that when the alarm clock rings at 6:00 am, I'll still be awake.

I think I'll ask the doctor to prescribe some Valium to go with this Levaquin...Nap today, anyone?

Warning! Caution! Take Heed!

2007-07-26T18:04:00.000-04:00

Mostly, you better just get off the roads now because my 16-year-old just got his driver's license today. He tells me he wants to "go somewhere" tonight "by himself"; however, he doesn't know where to go. Maddie, 6, says, "He's all grown-up now." Yeah, like she'd know anything about that. Well, I have a whole new set of things to worry about, so please pray for me! Just when life was getting to be such a breeze...yeah, right!

Whispers

2007-07-26T08:18:00.000-04:00

Many times as I read God's word, a verse literally jumps off the page and grabs hold of me. This morning was like that. Proverbs 26:20 says, "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down." I've been a whisperer before, have you? I've thrown more wood on the fire, keeping it burning, hurting others. It's embarassing to get caught adding wood to the flame. So simple the solution! Don't whisper; don't be the source; don't be the wood. Your words will never come back to bite you if you're quiet. Reminds me of another verse in James which says, "So also the tongue is a small part of the body, and yet it boasts of great things. Behold, how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire!" It's the whispers that start out small and quiet, yet can quite quickly become a raging fire out of control. Help me, Lord, to keep my mouth shut!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2007-07-25T12:15:00.000-04:00

Maddie to her grandma (Tony's mom) while driving the two hours to Portland, Oregon on our vacation: "Why do you keep on talking?" It didn't faze grandma one bit, and she kept right on gabbing! Now, if I'd have said that...

Maddie to me during dinner with grandma and grandpa: "Why is grandpa's nose so big?" Hmmmm....

Maddie to me in the car with grandma and grandpa: "Why did grandma pick a man who smokes?" Everytime grandpa would go outside to puff on his pipe, Maddie would report to us that he was smoking...as she does everytime she sees ANYONE smoke!

Blonde Confessions

2007-07-23T14:39:00.000-04:00

I have what is now becoming a very serious problem. This weekend I locked my keys in the car for the 6th time in 6 years! What is wrong with me? I really thought I was becoming a paranoid schizophrenic about my keys because it is not uncommon for me to check at least twice BEFORE I shut the car door to make sure my keys are in fact in my purse. But, I still did it!

Let me recount that myriad of other instances in which I have accomplished this feat. The first time, I had just moved to Indiana when I locked them in the car at a Pizza Hut. I didn't realize it at the time because I had been talking on the cell phone while my then 1 year old had knocked the keys on the floor after playing with them. After my kids and I had a nice pizza dinner and returned to the car, I panicked after not locating them. Peering in the car, I noticed they were laying on the floor, completely unavailable to me. Of course, Tony had to be in New York and was also completely unavailable to bail me out. That time, I called a locksmith, who thank goodness, seemed to be on call 24/7. Unfortunately, he charged me more than my husband would have.

The second and third occurances were at post offices, and oddly enough, also happened while I was distracted on the cell phone. That blasted phone and my blonde brain are just not a good combination. The fourth happening? I still can't figure this one out, but I locked the keys in my running car at a Wendy's. I didn't think that was actually possible, but apparently it is. Don't try it! The fourth lock-out was at a craft store. Fortunately, this a good place to be when you are waiting for your hubby to rescue you. I shopped until Tony had me paged on the store intercom. All was well once again.

I know you are wondering at this point why I didn't have enough brains to buy a magnetic key box. Tony did too. He strongly encouraged me to drive post haste to the hardware store and buy one of those thingamajigs. Being the submissive wife that I am, I obeyed his urgings. But, alas, I drove around with it sitting IN my car for weeks before I finally lost it. So, I never took care of my problem. Instead, I just became a freak about checking to make sure my keys were in my purse. It didn't help, obviously.

This weekend, while traveling back from a tennis tournament with Nick and Maddie, I locked my keys in the car while pumping gas at a convenience store in a town about an hour from where we live. Not only that, but my cell phone and my purse were in the car. How did you do that, you ask? I have no earthly idea. I mean, I wouldn't have done that! I merely threw the keys in the driver seat while I was standing beside the car waiting for the tank to fill. Personally, I think the force of my throw caused the wrong button to get pushed on the remote which apparently, locked all the doors. My first thought, honestly? "Tony is going to kill me!" My second thought? "Does Tony really need to know about this? I can just call a locksmith, right? What Tony doesn't know doesn't hurt him, right?" Bad idea!

The nice ladies in the convenience store became a big help to me in my efforts to avoid calling hubby by allowing me to use the phone to try my first plan of action...the police! This became my main resource because when I asked them about a locksmith, they gave me blank looks. Ahhh, the police it is! Not such a good idea it turns out. Did you know that vans have an anti-theft locking system installed? Neither did I. The police's antiquated tool doesn't work on these new-fangled vans. I also discovered that itty bitty, hole-in-the-wall towns don't apparently have locksmiths that work when people need them. If you haven't guess it by now, I was at my last resort...hubby! I guess I did give him quite a scare, however, when I told him I was in this tiny town with a policeman beside me. He later told me that he thought I was crying. I wasn't crying; I was scared to tell him my horrible sin!

Needless to say, while the three of us were sitting in the store, waiting an hour for Tony to arrive to unlock the car, we constructively occupied ourselves by playing "I spy with my little eye something...." Not many have the opportunity to spend such quality time together. Well, we had to do something to keep Maddie from bouncing off the walls. She wanted to eat everything she in sight, and I only had 3 dollars in my pocket because my purse was in the lock-up. Two of those dollars came from the nice policeman because Maddie said she wanted something to drink. The boldness of a 6-year-old. My 16-year-old would have died rather than admit he was thirsty or hungry yet had no money. So, this little guessing game entertained the energizer bunny, aka Maddie, for the next hour until you-know-who arrived.

My knight in shining armor rode in an hour later on his white steed and rescued his princess from her idiotic predicament...complete without a "what were you thinking" or a "I can't believe you did it again". He even took us all out to the DQ for an ice cream. What a man! My next goal besides getting a more brunette brain is to buy another key box!

There is a spiritual application to this story. How many times do I repeat the same sin, am afraid to confess to my Savior (as if He doesn't already know), and wait from Him to rescue me? Jesus delights when I come to Him, admit my mistakes and my shame and ask for help. He isn't standing there with a baseball bat, either, saying, "I can't believe you did this again. When are you going to learn?" While I am attempting to get help through other means, Jesus is waiting for me to crawl into His arms full of love and forgiveness. I simply need to quit trying to do things on my own, conjuring up my own faulty solutions to my problems and run to my rescuer. He's waiting!

"What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God--through Jesus Christ our Lord!" Romans 7:24-25

"...he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." Psalm 103:10-12

"'Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He was call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. Psalm 91:14-15

The Purse Hunt

2007-07-20T11:11:00.000-04:00

Ok, I admit, this is a completely frivolous posting; however, because I am a woman AND a shopper, I must tell about this. I have been purse hunting for a few months now searching for the perfect purse. It must be just the right size, not too big, not too small, the right number of pockets inside and most definitely include a cell phone pocket! My dilemma most of the time is cost. I just don't want to pay through the nose for a purse. My sister, who is the supreme opposite of me, would say, "If you like it, buy it, whatever the cost." She does this well, and I'm glad for that, but I just can't!! I need a deal, a sale, a bargain.

So, I don't mind telling you that I finally struck gold. I was looking at Macy's again and discovered THE purse. It was a Kathy Van Zeeland for you brand name snobs, the right size, with all the appropriate pockets, and the right price. It was marked down from $89 to $22, a real steal in my pocketbook. Incidentally, I've been told before not to advertise to others how much I pay for things, but I've thrown that advice right out the window. Sorry, Miss Manners. If I get a deal, I want everyone to know about it.

I showed my fabulous find to Tony when he arrived home from a long days work. "So, how much do you think I paid for this?" He gives it a cursory glance. "I don't know." Of course, I want him to guess, but he's not playing today. I excitedly spilled the amounts to him. "I saved almost $70 buying this purse." Typical husband response, "So, you saved me money today." It's the simple things in life that make us girls happy. I saved my husband money and bought a purse!

Could It Be...Satan??

2007-07-18T10:20:00.000-04:00

I've lost track of how many times M has "'accidently" spilled a drink. At the Seattle airport, she dropped her Starbuck kid's hot chocolate, and it occurred again just this morning. My routine this week after I pick up N from tennis is to order a Tall Nonfat Marble Mocha Macchiato and a kid's hot chocolate in the Starbuck's drive through, drive out that lot and into the very next McDonald's lot and order two Egg Mcmuffins for N. Healthy, I know, but I don't want to hear your criticism!

We get home, walk in the door, and suddenly, I hear this wailing, "I spilled my hot chocolate!" Of course, it's M. This possibly couldn't happen again. Maybe that hot chocolate from Starbuck's is cursed! Amid cleaning up the mess and lecturing M about the "rules" for holding a drink, using two hands, she says, "It was Satan's fault! He made me drop it." Yeah, right...how many times have I used that excuse in my life? I reiterated, "Use two hands when you hold a drink. It wasn't Satan's fault!"

We're Making a Memory!

2007-07-17T10:48:00.000-04:00

When I was growing up, a frequent phrase in our house was, "We're making a memory!" Usually this occurred when some situation or event didn't go as planned and instead of dwelling on the disaster that happened or the unpleasantness we were faced with, my mom would pipe up with, "We're making a memory. We won't forget this!" It was a brilliant way for my mom to turn grumbling, complaining and potential bad attitudes into a positive experience.

For example, I recall the time when we were travelling through the Palm Desert in California by train to visit our grandma and of all disasters to occur, the air conditioning quit working. Not a problem if it's frigid outside, but when it is over 100 degrees and three young children are cooped up in a train car, the whining is inevitable. Perhaps we began to do this, I'm not sure, but what does stick in my memory is that quip, "We're making a memory, kids! We certainly won't forget the summer that the air conditioning stopped in the sweltering heat of Southern California!" Since that time, the three of us siblings actually look for opportunities to "make a memory" with our own children. And, let me tell you, if you haven't already figured out how life works, there are plenty of potential "make a memory" events!

Just this summer, while my oldest two children were travelling with their grandparents in Whistler, Canada, they pinpointed a "memory" moment. As they rode the gondola down the side of Blackcomb Mountain, they viewed two bears doing "it" in public. Not only that, but the papa bear aggressively pulled mama bear underneath him. Talk about a lesson about the bears and the bees. If my two teens didn't know about sex before, they do now! Of course, my mom (grandma) had to get it on film, so they have a constant visual of the act in progress.

Last, but certainly not least, is our airplane saga earlier this summer when Tony, M and I were flying to Seattle. Not only was our flight delayed getting to Chicago thereby causing us to miss our connecting flight to Seattle, but the next flight we were scheduled to take was also delayed, not once but three times. We became well acquainted with the very nice food court at the airport and planted ourselves in some comfortable seats for a long wait. Ever entertain a very active 6 year old while waiting hours for a plane? You know, those new toys and books one purchases to make the plane trip exciting and fun and not long? Yep, we used them in the airport instead!

Finally, we board the plane, taxi to the runway and wait to make sure that threatening thunderstorms and lightening aren't going to ground us from flying. At this point, everyone is anxious to be airborne to Seattle when a jolt from behind stuns all the passengers. "Did we just get hit?" is the only thing flying through the air now. There's a light stirring of panic as an odd odor fills the cabin. I'm thinking, "Hmmm, I wonder if we might blow up" when the pilot confirms over the intercom that yes, another plane's wing has hit our tail and they will be assessing the damage. Great! We haven't even been in this plane twenty minutes, and now we've been hit on the tarmac no less. Guess what I'm thinking by now? Yep, this is a fantastic day for memory making! I'm choosing not to panic, not to think about that I've already spent way too much time in the Chicago airport and about to have an even more intimate relationship with it, not to worry about missing out on time with my family in Seattle because Chicago wants me more and most importantly not to become more loony with M who has already exhausted her backpack full of fun. Nope, this is a day to just relax and spend some quality time in Chicago, not going to the Navy Pier, not going to the American Girl Place, not going the Field Museum or Aquarium, but instead seeing the sights and developing relationships in the airport. Just what I always wanted to do.

Continuing on with the saga, we discovered that the odor filtering into the cabin was merely hydraulic fluid which would not injure us in any way, thank goodness! And, the fire engines that arrived on the scene checked to make sure that we did not immediately need to disembark. Shew! The pilot informed us that since they were unable now to steer the plane, we were waiting for a vehicle to tow us back to the gate (no! no! no!). I wanted to scream, "I want to see my mommy", but felt sure it wouldn't help the situation. Of course, then we had to wait for the thunder and lightening, which had begun while we were lingering on the runway, to subside before a vehicle could tow us. We used this time wisely to do some more relationship building with our newfound friends. Cell phones were madly put to use as folks called family and friends to inform them of our predicament. Many were trying to book new flights to Seattle. We simply relaxed and chatted wondering how this many people were going to get rebooked on different flights. We heard rumors of no flights available until Friday...and this was Wednesday!

After the storm subdued, we finally arrived at our destination...the gate! Everyone cheered when the powers that be announced that a new plane was on its way to get us in the air at our new flight time of 6 pm. Yea! We'd only been in Chicago since 11 am getting to know our surroundings. Everyone groaned when a new announcement reported that although we had the new plane, we now needed a new flight crew. I guess the old one had been grounded for investigation. Our new flight time was now 9 pm. Well, we figured we had time to grab something to eat, so it was back to round two at the Chicago airport food court. Our biggest decision was which restaurant should we eat at this time? Of course, M's choice was McDonald chicken nuggets again!

Well, the rest of the story is basically history except for waiting for Clarence, the story I already related in an earlier blog! We flew as planned at 9 pm, arrived in Seattle around 11:30, rode a shuttle to our destination, arriving at 12:30 pm, and slumbered into dreamland an hour later...which incidentally was about 4:30 am our time. The longest day of our lives? Might be! Full of mishaps and unfortunate circumstances? Assuredly yes! Chock full of memories and situations we can turn into positive? Most definitely!

There is a point to this madness. In the midst of this odd day, there were many who were angry, many who were demanding to talk to the head personnel, many who panicked. Yet I also saw many who took this frustrating day in stride and made the best of it. One gentleman actually filmed the dangling tail of the plane and all the emergency vehicles outside our plane and donated his burned CD of the event to TV news people. Those who chose to remain relaxed in the face of chaos, transform a horrible event into something memorable and trade potential bad attitudes with cheerful dispositions were clearly better off. They were "making a memory" as we all have the opportunity to do every time life doesn't go as planned. When I get lemons, I'm going to choose to make some lemonade!

Clarence, who?

2007-07-13T12:25:00.000-04:00

I have a quick minute to post something before I run out yet again to deliver another child to his designated activity. This morning was cheer camp; this afternoon is Sounds of South camp! At some other point, I will relay the entire saga of our day spent in the Chicago airport, but for now, I will just mention another "Maddie" story.

As we were getting ready to fly out of the Chicago airport, we spent many minutes sitting on the plane waiting to get airborne. Maddie complained, "When are we going to go, mom? Why aren't we leaving, yet?" "I think we're waiting for clearance, honey." Seconds later, she asks, "Who's Clarence?" Out of the mouth of babes come the funniest things! And, for all I know, maybe that co-pilot we were waiting for was named Clarence!

When It Rains, It Pours...Part II

2007-07-09T21:14:00.000-04:00

Does it ever seem like to you that everything falls apart at once? The toilet overflows one day, and the next day, my washer refuses to rinse or drain. I really hope it has nothing to do with the mega mess of rugs from the bathroom that I shoved into the washer to be cleaned. So, this time, before calling the Mr. Fix It Man from Sears, I allowed my MAN to have an attempt at the problem. After an hour, he was on the phone to Sears. Turns out, it's just some sort of simple water pump (or something) issue to the tune of a couple hundred dollars. Not bad, I think! Over a course of two days, we have managed to spend over $300 on repairs. At this rate, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Posted at 08:24 pm by astonger

When It Rains, It Pours!

2007-07-09T21:12:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, while my husband was in Salt Lake City, an eruption of great magnitude occurred in my bathroom...my toilet overflowed. Now, while this is not a regular occurrance, it is something that has happened frequently enough to warrant purchasing a handy dandy plunger no family should be without. So, of course, the first thing I did was run for the plunger. Let me tell you, I plunged that toilet not once, but twice, no three...I take that back...four times. Actually, I've lost count. You'd have thought I'd have gained some wisdom that continuous plunging at this point was not going to work, especially with crap now flowing like a river over the side and onto the tile floor. Did I stop? NO! I tried just one more time while Maddie was screaming, "Mommy, call the plunger...NOW! You need the plunger!" Yes, she meant the plumber!

She recognizes a job too big for her mom. What did I do? Of course, I called Roto-Rooter! In the meantime, after I had completely mopped the floor and cleaned the toilet area as best I could while waiting 4 hours for Plungerman, I inadvertantly left the bathroom door open while attending to lunch. I woke up a few seconds later as one name burst into my blonde brain, "Bella!" Yes, Bella, our dog, was at that very moment slurping up the mess in the toilet. In fact, she managed to lap up, in my estimation, about two 8 ounce glasses worth of you know what. We have since changed her name to Potty Mouth.
Posted at 07:59 pm by astonger

Go Figure!

2007-07-09T21:11:00.000-04:00

My 6 year old is constantly trying out new phrases. For example, just the other day, she says to me, "Go figure" out of the blue. "What does that mean, Mom?" Sometimes these simple questions that she asks quite often perplexes me. I mean, what exactly DOES "go figure" mean? How do I go about explaining American slang? I hedged a bit and finally asked where she heard that phrase. "Oh, I just thought it up in my brain," she says. Yes, her brain contains a plethora of surprising thoughts just waiting to be uttered. By the way, I never answered her question!
Posted at 10:39 am by astonger

Do You Have Any Glue?

2007-07-09T20:59:00.000-04:00

My 6-year-old daughter believes that glue is the answer to all life's problems! If something is broken, simply glue it back together. So, when she came to me after ripping apart one of those long, stringy hand toys that one throws against the wall only to watch it slowly slide down, I had to explain the truth to her. "Honey, you can't glue everything back together." She stomped her feet with an adamant, "Yes, you can."

You see, she's had a lot of experience with glue since she is my most destructive child, and in all actuality, her dad has salvaged quite a few things she has broken (all by accident, of course.) There was the time that she dropped a momento given to me from our exchange student in Thailand...you can barely see the crack where my husband glued it back together. But, what about the lamp that was destroyed through carelessness or some of my jewelry that she "accidently" ruined due to seeing what would happen if she stretched that bracelet out as far as possible? Gone forever!

After arguing for a few seconds about repairing the cheap toy, she relented while I told her to throw the broken whatchamacallit away. She wanted to keep it and refused to throw it in the garbage. Did I mention that she's also a pack rat of broken and junky toys? This is an entirely different problem, however, since my subject is the benefits or lack thereof of glue on certain objects.

Yes, glue does not fix everything. Looking at my life, I can plainly see that. Sure, there are some things that can be repaired, but not without a scar, a crack, or some other evidence that something was broken. Marriages can be like this when someone betrays trust, yet the couple works together to stay married. However, not all broken relationships can be mended. No amount of glue will work. That's when the party has to agree that it's not going to be restored and moving on is for the best. This is extremely painful, much more so than a bracelet broken accidently. Although I mourned (shortly) the loss of my accessory, it wasn't a life-changing event, like my divorce. Unfortunately, glue just didn't have enough stickability for that. The break was irreparable; the damage done. This is when I had to, in a much deeper soul-searching way, realize that a patch job wasn't going to mend the brokenness. And, although my heart was hurt, and my life changed, God picked up those broken pieces, and did what no amount of glue could ever do. Just like a potter has the authority to reshape clay, so he took my broken life and pieced it together into something beautiful.

No, glue can't fix everything, but God can take our tattered selves, our scattered pieces and bring out something new, so that His glory can shine through. We become a new piece created to reflect His work and magnificence in our lives. That is something to celebrate!

Posted at 03:21 pm by astonger Comment (1) Permalink

Where Does The Time Go?

2007-07-09T20:53:00.000-04:00

I don't know where it went, but it's gone! Just yesterday I was having my firstborn son, Nick, and today I went to his honor's award's night for his sophomore year in high school. How did 16 years pass by so quickly? I distinctly remember when Nick turned 2, and I felt like we were eons away from things like junior high and high school. Isn't it crazy how we can't wait for our little ones to roll over, sit up and finally walk for the very first times, yet we stand at the brink of high school graduation and want to slow the clock way down.

I'm suddenly realizing that I'm now experiencing some of the "last" things I'll see Nick do...the "last" tennis matches he'll play, the "last" Sounds of South musicals he'll be performing in, the "last" time he'll be a Sophomore in school, and someday quite soon, the "last" day he'll spend in high school. I want to treasure these moments. I know I've wasted far too many days hurrying time to get to the next milestone...or worse, being too busy to enjoy precious time with my son, thinking falsely that I have many other days to enjoy with him. It's just not true! Time slips away as quickly as a snake slitherering quietly into the grass. It's gone, and I can't retrieve it no matter how desperately I want to. Not that I want a snake to come back, by any means!

My solution? Enjoy each moment I have left; treasure each conversation; hug him as much as I can (if he'll let me); be accessible and available...and never too busy!
Posted at 05:14 pm by astonger
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